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rogfam

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    my fam, facebook, our honda shadow :)
  1. Thank you... each one of you... your words touch my heart and soul. Just knowing you all are here for me gives me some peace as well. God is good. and mom would add, All the time! Prayers for us all, Christy
  2. Thank you Katie and Kasey!! missed you both! I just posted my update in 'grieving'. I'll try to find a pic soon kasey!
  3. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to come back here to this great place. It's just hard. I still don't even know where to start!! The beginning of the end i guess. We had hospice coming out. She was still walking around but so weak, not eating much. She was on 02 the last six weeks also. That was really hard for her, she sunk into a deep depression, and the anxiety level was at it's highest. She started to stay in bed more. We started to see her withdraw from us, but we didn't realize it at the time. My sister and I were greiving our mom before she ever died! Those hugs and kisses and smiles weren't there anymore. This was so hard, she was the most loving mom ever. Three days before she died, I was over with my sister and mom's mom and my daddy. Mom was sleeping more, harder to wake, and began to fill up with fluid... She was scared. God we all were. All of our family came over and prayed for her. She woke up to a house full and sat up, and said, 'whats going on? ya'll think I'm dying here or what?' We assured her we just had a wonderful prayer for her. That was all she ever wanted, was for prayer or for someone to read the bible to her. She went back to sleep, we had the nurse come over, who confirmed our worst fears, this was the beginning of the end. We had a very restless night with her, up and down, coughing, fever...She said, 'if it were up to me I'd go to the hospital people! I'm getting so weak and I can barely breathe.' We assured her it was up to her. She got up and headed to the back porch for a smoke. We had to help her walk. She hated that they (cigs) still had ahold on her even at this point. She beat herself up over it. She sat down with my sis and told her, nothing is going to happen to me, but just in case, I want you and christy to know I'm very proud of you both... So me and dad gathered a few things and headed to the hospital. They did a ct scan and found the cancer in both lungs. She was on a bipap machine to help her breathe. She hated it. She kept trying to get up, take it off, was so restless... This was wed morning. For two days we watched mom slip away.. She never lost her mind, always giving us kisses, trying to talk.. We decided to get rid of the bipap machine, which was just prolonging the inevitable.. Thursday nigtht, with her sisters and brother and mom and other fam around, mom said she had to go, I asked her where, she could barely talk mind you, and clear as bell, she said 'wherever the Lord takes me, I've got to tell you all good bye... I'm crying and screaming for my dad, she's telling us goodbye! She called out for her sister veronica, who was standing in the back, to make sure she was there too, and she then said, the lord had prepared a place for her! Talk about a blessing, a true God thing. Mom had went there to get better, she wasn't ready to go, but when He finally gave her that peace, it was beautiful and much needed for us all. We watched her 02 slowly fall the rest of the night. Me and my sis and dad and a cpl aunts, and cousins, as well my baby girl, who at 16 was so strong for her nana, stayed with her taking turns at her side, and playing Selah's Hiding Places cd, her favorite.. Then at 7:05 am friday august 29, last year, mom went to be with Him. I had friend Vanessa from church come and pray for mom at the hospital. She brought her five year old daughter, who had drawn mom a picture of a little girl flying a kite and a big butterfly in the background. Mom asked for the picture twice, she held on to it. Vanessa shared a story with me as she left about her stepdaughter, who had passed away very young. Her daddy brought her a butterfly home one day, and she said , 'no daddy, butterflies are meant to be free!!' I shared that with mom. I think she was the butterfly, it was time for her to be free. God works in mysterious ways. I'm sorry it was so long, thank you for reading. Christy
  4. Hi everyone! It's been over a year now since my beautiful momma passed away and I just havent had it in me to come back, til now. I promised to share her end days story and I'll do that shortly. It's an amazing one. There are so many new members.. sad, but good they found us! I hope to be coming back more often and get updated! love to you all, christy
  5. She fought long and hard. Someday, I will share the whole beautiful story of her last few days. Here is the obit for now. Please keep us n your prayers, we need them so much. I dont know how to go on without her. I've been cheated out of 20 years! My heart is broken. http://www.legacy.com/MuskogeePhoenix/O ... =116761278
  6. rogfam

    my mom..

    Thank you all. I've done some reading, looks like brain mets CAN cause nausea. So WHY we just cking this after a year n a half?
  7. rogfam

    hoarse voice

    My mom started having this a cpl years ago. She has a paralyzed vocal chord, from all the treatments I guess.
  8. My mom's an 8 year survivor, technically diagnosed at IIIb, but a IV for a few years now. THERE IS HOPE. C.
  9. rogfam

    my mom..

    My mom has been battling debilitating nausea for a hear and a half. She finally had her gallbladder removed several weeks ago. She did better for a few weeks, but it's back.. Now what?? She's got every antinauseau known to man. They now want a brain MRI. Could brain mets have anything to do with nausea?? Her cancer has been contained to her lung and lymph nodes for this last 8 years, we've been blessed. I'm just scared. She's lost thirty lbs over last year n a half, bout 98 lbs now.. God help us all. Thank you, Christy
  10. rogfam

    My uncle..

    I just can't thank you all enough. Your words are so comforting, at a time like this, not much is, and you've made me feel a little peace. It's still so unreal. We've been to his house, doing things that need to be done.. so weird.. Where's Robert?? He should be sitting in that chair!! My daddy is dealing best he can, I know he cries when he gets down time, who wouldn't.. We'll be ok, life goes on.. I'm not sure how it does, but I know it does.. He had a beautiful service on Monday with the Air Force Honor Guard. He had many medals and awards. I think TAPS is the saddest song on earth. He would've loved it. My grandpa has lost two sons and a wife in the last three years.. I know I can come here and express myself anytime, and that helps so much. Again, you're all a blessing to me. Love and prayers for us all, Christy
  11. rogfam

    My uncle..

    My uncle chose to end his lc battle, which was drawing very near the end, himself today. I came here to vent a bit. I loved him, did all he would let me do for him, as did my parents and his sister that lived near by. He was retired air force, never married or had kids. He was a very different man, while very thoughtful in some ways, very hard in others. His opinion was the right one. Up until the end he still griped at my dad if he got Bounty paper towels instead of Brawny, or whatever.. Why be so hard and cold, especially to the ones who are trying their best to take care of you. Hospice had approached my uncle a cpl days ago with the question of "what are you going to do when you're not able to care for yourslef?" With the VA home being brought up, my uncle refused to speak of it. My daddy assured him he would take care of him at home as long as he could! This man had controled every aspect of his life, how on earth could he give it up now??? And he didn't. He chose to end his own life, shot himself in the chest, either last night or this mornng, not sure yet. But one thing I do know is this. HE KNEW MY DADDY WOULD FIND HIM!! Damnit, why not take all them pills sitting on the counter??? I know he was suffering, and I don't blame him one bit, but why did he have to shoot himself?? My poor dad will forever have that image in his mind now!!! He had a notebook, with things like, 'my funeral suit is in the closet, it's marked.' He told which casket he wanted. I wish he coulda left a note, saying anything, but how bout I'm SORRY, or thank you for all you've done, but..., Or I love you bro, but I have to do this! I'm heartbroken, and yet I'm angry! I'm hurting, but just in shock that he ended this way! Thanks for letting me vent. I love and pray for you all even though I don't hang out here much these days. Christy
  12. rogfam

    cindi o'h

    She will be missed.. Prayers for the family.. Christy
  13. My mom has gone to the one here in Oklahoma since she was diagnosed EIGHT years ago. They may not have the 'miracle drug', but they sure do CARE and treat people with a lot more dignity and respect than any other place we've been. God is ultimately our healer, but they're a wonderful place to get treatment. God bless, Christy
  14. All I know is I'm right there with ya.
  15. I'm so glad you called hopsice and that your dad is happy with this decision, as it is a very hard one to make. I'm an aide with hospice, I absolutely love my job, as hard is it, it's so rewarding. I'm sure your dad's nurse told you today all hopsice can offer you. It can be such a blessing! The nurses are wonderful, saveing you trips to the doctor, and even supplying certaing meds. As an aide, I get to really share a special time with my poeple, loving them til the end, it's an honor. If you have any questions, feel free ask. Love n prayers, Christy
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