Helpingmom

So my mother who is stage iv with metastasis to liver finally told me the truth about her diagnosis. she originally told me there was one tumor in one lung and a small spot in her liver and they didn't give her any idea of her survival rate. today she told me there are several small spots on 1 lung and then the small one in her liver. she has had 4 treatments of keytruda and the first scan looked good. her doc only did a scan this early because he was concerned because her voice had become hoarse, but he said nothing more is concerning him right now. she is due for another scan in a few weeks and has finally agreed to let me go with her and ask questions. What are some things I should be asking? one thing I want to ask, but maybe it's a stupid question is If the cancer is primarily the small spot in her liver and the small one in her kidney, why isn't surgery an option in the future? if the keytruda can get rid of the cancer in her liver, is a lung removal an option? Why isnt she beng given traditional chemo along with the keytruda as that seems like a common treatment option?She truly feels like she only has 2 years because he mentioned that he can't promise she will be here longer. I've tried to tell her this isn't an expiration date and that he told her that before she was ever tested for keytruda. Am I wrong to give her hope at this stage? She is only 53. She is still very healthy. she goes to work every day and aside from feeling tired after treatment, she seems fine right now. she even gained all her weight back in the last few weeks. Thank you in advance for any suggestions.

Thank you for sharing that Steff. I will definitely take all of that into consideration .

Thank you for the feedback. it's good to know that you felt better using one and good for you for trying to quit completely and I hope that is what my mother is planning. She continues to push more people away as the weeks progress and I know she is scared, but refuses to talk to anyone about it. It seems like if anyone suggests she bring something up with her doctor, she fights us and does the opposite. I'm just at a loss trying to do the right thing for her. I'm trying to give her space and time to do what she needs to do while still trying to make sure she is doing ok. It's a difficult balance!

Unfortunately she will not allow anyone else to talk to her doctors. That's probably the most hurtful and frustrating thing she can do to us right now. I truly feel like she is keeping things from us about her illness. I know that she is the one who is sick and has to go through this but those who care about her go through it too. We just want to know what was going on and that she is getting the help that she needs.

My mother was recently diagnosed with NSCLC. She told me she quit smoking and was on the patch, but I found out she lied and is using an e cigarette instead. I told her to ask her doctor before she even considered it and of course, she didnt. I have found so many conflicting things online about them. Has anyone asked their doctors about them? obviously , they are better than smoking, but with someone in her condition, are they hurting her chances of any improvement? she is on keytruda if that makes a difference . Thank you for any advice on this. I am really starting to feel like she doesn't want to get better of she can't even ask if this is healthy for her. it makes me so sad and frustrated. why go through all of this treatment if you won't take care of yourself?

I have mentioned taking notes to her, she doesn't do it. It is frustrating and to be honest, I feel like she isn't telling me the truth about what is going on sometimes. There is nothing anyone can do to change how she is about things like this. I know her. I think part of it is she is embarrassed about the smoking and everything and what it has done to her because so many people have been telling her for so long that she needed to take better care of herself. I am trying my best to be positive , but I would feel so much better to talk to her doctors and hear from them, good or bad, what is really happening. I have told her this and she just says she needs her privacy. I am trying not to be selfish and make her angry and upset just to make me feel better. At some point, she is going to have to tell us what is happening if things do not get better. She has all the support she needs from me as she knows I'm there for whatever she needs, but she only tells me what is going on so I am very much alone trying to process all this. My fiance knows because there was no way i could even get up in the morning and function without his support. This site is starting to help though and thank you all and know that i pray everyday for a cure for everyone who is going through this.

Thanks so much for your response. I will take a look at the information you have suggested. She has Adenocarcinoma. She has 1 small spot in her lung and one in her liver that is barely visible on the scan. She was until a few weeks ago a very heavy smoker and drinker, so it's not really all that surprising unfortunately. I asked her if they knew where it originated and she said no. is this something they can tell? Does it matter?

So found out today the cancer is in one lung and just the tiniest spot in her liver. The doctor is running tests on the biopsy tissue because his hope is to start her on keytruda instead of chemo. If anyone can share some experiences with this treatment , I would be very grateful . everything I have read about it sounds promising .

Thank you. I wish my mom would let me or someone go with her, but she won't allow it which makes it much more difficult for those who care about her. I will keep your mom in my thoughts as well. I'm getting married in a few months and I want so much for my mom to be there and be healthy .

Wow. Thank you so much for the quick response. I will check on all of those things. I am so glad I found this site. It is frustrating as my mom doesn't ask many questions and no answers are given voluntarily. she had a CT and biopsy last month. They did her PET scan finally just a few days ago. she can see the results online and it it doesn't say anything different that the CT. This is all so new and I've been trying not to Google too much, but it's hard when she doesn't ask for more info from her doctors.

Hi. My mom was recently diagnosed with lung cancer, well, they did a biopsy and found cancer in her lung. we don't know yet the stage or origin. she is a long time smoker, but only 53. I am really hoping they found it early, even though I know that is rarely the case. My question today is she has an appointment set and it lists 3 different departments she is meeting with. Radiation/Oncology, Hematology/Oncology, and behavioral medicine. the radiation oncology is obvious , but can anyone tell me what roles the other 2 have in treatment of lung cancer ?