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Steff

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  1. Like
    Steff reacted to Curt in 3mm bottom right lobe   
    Hello @marinisa.  Hearing you have a nodule in your lung is terrifying.  Some things that may calm your nerves.  1) a 3mm is VERY small.  The small edge of a nickel is 2mm.  I’m surprised they could even see that on a scan.  2) the majority of nodules are NOT cancer.   
     
    You are correct that a CT scan will not be able to definitively diagnosis a single 3mm nodule.  It’s also probably too small to biopsy.  They will likely have you get scans every six months to monitor it.  If it grows beyond 10 mm they will probably do a PET scan.  Depending on the result of the PET they may try to biopsy it.  All of that can take years.  The longer you go with no changes to the nodule the more likely that it is not cancer, remember most are not.  
  2. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Moonbeam in where we are now..long and overdue   
    Moonbeam,
    Firstly, I am sending all of my warm thoughts and hugs your way.  You are in this for the long haul, my fellow caregiver, and your husband is so lucky to have you.  
    Second, I think your question about the anxiety and pain meds is a reasonable one.  As you know, anxiety can do so many wacky things to us and then to add narcotics to the mix just quadruples the wackiness.  I don't have a reasonable solution for you, I am sorry.  This is probably a dumb question, but is he taking something for the anxiety? Is he taking something to help him sleep?  Exhaustion adds to anxiety and can make us less tolerating of pain.  
    I am grateful you have a best friend you can count on and is there for you...I hope she was/is able to help you cope with all the changes happening in your life all at once.  I also hope through all of this that you have some quiet, quality time with your husband periodically, even if it's just for 5 minutes.  As a spouse who is caregiving, those times are very important to keep your head in the game.
    Take Care,
    Steff
  3. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Lin wilki in Stable!   
    Your 1 word - stable - made my day! Great work Lin!
  4. Like
    Steff reacted to woco in Remaining positive and optimistic   
    I am now in my seventh month of treatments after diagnosis...just had my second CT Scan earlier this week.  Good news...no new growth or spreading and my tumor continues to shrink.  Sometimes I hope to hear the tumor is gone, but, for now, I remain optimistic and hopeful, realizing God is good, and prayers are powerful. 
  5. Like
    Steff reacted to G.A.M. in Back on the Roller Coaster   
    I finally consulted an oncologist I trust who climbed off the fence and told me to get the surgery. He said as long as I'd gotten my strength back from my last surgery in October (I have), I was good to go. He said I'd likely come out of it NED and my oncologist is a good one.
    So, next Thursday morning @ 7 AM.
    @Curt what were your days in the hospital like? I hope I'm coherent for the Superbowl.
     
  6. Like
    Steff reacted to Lin wilki in Stable!   
    Scans after 2 rounds of chemo. Alimta and Carboplatin. Stable.  So one more double chemo. Another scan. If stable. Maintenance with just Alimta for???? until progression. Then targeted chemo for my HER 2 amplification. My oncologist had lunch with a HER2 specialist at MD Anderson. That made me feel confident that she’s always looking for the next option. I’ll probably need them!   But taking the time right now to be relieved
  7. Like
    Steff got a reaction from LouT in Hi I'm Gessica   
    Hi Gessica,
    It sounds like your dad has had quite the journey to his lung cancer diagnosis.  Many patients have had similar journeys but are here despite delays, mix ups, etc.  My mom did not have delays in her original diagnosis, but had a delay in her lobectomy because she needed to detox from her rheumatoid arthritis meds prior to surgery.  This delayed her surgery about 1 month (6 weeks total from initial diagnosis).  In that time, her lung cancer (adenocarcinoma, Non-small cell, stage 3a) did not grow or spread. Nor did the delay affect her outcome.  She was NED after follow-up chemo and radiation.  For her 1st lung cancer recurrence, her diagnosis was delayed because her docs did not see the mass.  It took a new pulmonoligist to see it and biopsy it.  The mass was likely growing for 3-6 months prior to finding it.  This delay also did not affect her treatment outcome, she has been NED for over a year.
    So, what your dad experienced is unfortunately quite common.  The important thing is that they found it and are coming up with a plan to treat it.  There will be more testing and more waiting, but that is all part of the diagnosis process.  It's normal to be worried or even angry that finding his lung cancer took this long.  I was angry for quite awhile because my mom's lung cancer recurrence was missed.  That anger fueled me to join LUNGevity and take part in these forums, so I did my best to turn it into a good thing.  Here, I found that there is HOPE and it is okay to feel optimistic.  
    I am happy your dad has a supportive person like you.  Whatever treatment plan evolves, he will need your support.  
    Take Care,
    Steff
  8. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Rower Michelle in Hallucinations?   
    Aub33,
    If the docs not come up with any reasonable thoughts on why your father is behaving this way, perhaps you should look into the possibility of a bladder infection/UTI.  A family friend had a severe UTI a few years ago and it landed her in the ICU for about 10 days.  She was hallucinating and speaking as if she was a different person.  It was really odd.  Once the UTI was taken care of, she was back to her normal self....just a thought.
    Take Care,
    Steff
  9. Like
    Steff got a reaction from BridgetO in Hallucinations?   
    Aub33,
    If the docs not come up with any reasonable thoughts on why your father is behaving this way, perhaps you should look into the possibility of a bladder infection/UTI.  A family friend had a severe UTI a few years ago and it landed her in the ICU for about 10 days.  She was hallucinating and speaking as if she was a different person.  It was really odd.  Once the UTI was taken care of, she was back to her normal self....just a thought.
    Take Care,
    Steff
  10. Like
    Steff reacted to CoachGessica in Hi I'm Gessica   
    Steff, 
    Thank you so much for your reply. Your message definitely is helpful, it's always a better feeling knowing you're not alone. 
    I'm already on the road to being more optimistic. I realize this whole thing is a process and part of that process is anger. Probably the best thing to do is realize what the process entails and work through it as productively as possible.
    Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, definitely gives me hope. I'm definitely looking forward to a plan being in place and I think that my dad is in better hands now. 
    With a warm heart
    Gess
  11. Like
    Steff got a reaction from hope16 in Possible recurrence   
    St Michael,
    I've been keeping track of your mom's lung cancer recurrence journey here.  I finally feel like I might have something helpful to share.  My message is one of HOPE.  I received a punch in the gut when my mom was diagnosed with her lung cancer recurrence 3 years ago, 1 year after finishing treatment for NSCLC adenocarcinoma, stage 3a.  Her lung cancer recurred on the back of her trachea, closing it to about 30% airflow and requiring a stent.  At original diagnosis, testing for mutations was too new, but with her recurrence, she found that she had a high PD-L1 level and was a good candidate for immunotherapy.  So, not only was my mom diagnosed with lung cancer AGAIN, their treatment recommendation was not the traditional one (chemo and radiation), they were suggesting this new, fancy immunotherapy drug.  I was doubly scared and feared the worst.  It took me nearly a year to calm down and accept that my mom had lung cancer again. That is where I began to understand that these days, lung cancer is often being treated as a chronic disease (as you mentioned).  My mom already has a couple of chronic conditions - rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes, what's another one! lol   My mom's road to NED was not a walk in the park, but she made it.  
    We have just surpassed 4 years since initial diagnosis.  My mom has decided to call herself a lung cancer survivor rather than saying "I have lung cancer".  According to the statistics, my mom isn't supposed to be here.  Nor are many others on this forum.  Statistics/progression free survival/etc is not who your mom is, nor does it define my mom.  Originally, my mom asked her doc if she was just buying time.  Her doc said "yes".  Well, the time that my mom "bought" has been great.  She lives her life to the fullest and has recently tried new things like painting and going to hockey games.  Honestly, we both feel that our lives are fuller because my mom is a lung cancer survivor.  The journey here was hell and I definitely would not have said this 2 years ago. This is probably not the last time my  mom has to deal with lung cancer.  We've both accepted that, but when it does recur, we know that treatment advances with again help her to buy time.  
    I know that your mom has a long road ahead, but please know there is HOPE.
    Take Care, 
    Steff
  12. Like
    Steff reacted to D iane in Small Cell Diagnosis   
    We saw both the nurse prac. and the MO today. His platelet count was a little low on Tues, so they did another draw today and it has recovered to normal level.  So, he's all set up for 4th cycle starting Monday.  Being told he will probably do a good 6 total treatments.  They gave me the CT scan orders today and he is scheduled for the 30th.  This is the scary part.  Waiting, wondering, and having to undergo such strong medicine and it's side effects.  Dr. said he is tolerating it well and told him to keep up the good work.
    I know it's probably too much to expect a full remission, but wouldn't that be great?  Trying not to have too high of expectations but praying the fire inside is knocked down to a slow smolder. 
    I'll be back later with results.  Take care.
  13. Like
    Steff reacted to Rower Michelle in Scan Time (again)   
    Hi All, 
    Somehow the last three months just flew by doing blissfully normal things.  I'm up for the semi-annual brain MRI and CT Scan next Wednesday afternoon results scheduled for Thursday morning.  I've got the usual activities planned to help pass the time.  Overall I'm feeling pretty good heading into this scan, which is 15 months on targeted therapy.  For some reason the scanxiety hasn't hit yet (am I getting "used to" this????).    I just started the LiveStrong Program at the YMCA so I'll probably be too sore and wiped out to have the worry monkeys take over.  
    Irrespective of the results we are heading to Amelia Island the last week of January for our normal winter trip which I am really looking forward to.   In the meantime, I've placed a call to the clinic this morning to obtain the Valium for the MRI so I am locked and loaded for this go round.  Any prayers, thoughts, ju ju or good karma is appreciated as I head into this next round.   I'll keep you all posted. 
    Michelle 
  14. Like
    Steff reacted to St Michael in Possible recurrence   
    Hi Steff.
    Thank you for sharing your story. Just as I finally felt life was getting back to “normal,” I get some of the worst news of my life...again. Obviously you and many others here can relate. I’ve heard mostly positive things about Tagrisso, so I’m hoping for the best.
    On Toms suggestion from an older post, I often google search lung cancer treatments under “news” and there are several things in the works, or so it seems. I understand she will never be cured, but I hope that another breakthrough option will be available soon and help it from progressing for many more years.
    God bless.
     
  15. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Curt in Possible recurrence   
    St Michael,
    I've been keeping track of your mom's lung cancer recurrence journey here.  I finally feel like I might have something helpful to share.  My message is one of HOPE.  I received a punch in the gut when my mom was diagnosed with her lung cancer recurrence 3 years ago, 1 year after finishing treatment for NSCLC adenocarcinoma, stage 3a.  Her lung cancer recurred on the back of her trachea, closing it to about 30% airflow and requiring a stent.  At original diagnosis, testing for mutations was too new, but with her recurrence, she found that she had a high PD-L1 level and was a good candidate for immunotherapy.  So, not only was my mom diagnosed with lung cancer AGAIN, their treatment recommendation was not the traditional one (chemo and radiation), they were suggesting this new, fancy immunotherapy drug.  I was doubly scared and feared the worst.  It took me nearly a year to calm down and accept that my mom had lung cancer again. That is where I began to understand that these days, lung cancer is often being treated as a chronic disease (as you mentioned).  My mom already has a couple of chronic conditions - rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes, what's another one! lol   My mom's road to NED was not a walk in the park, but she made it.  
    We have just surpassed 4 years since initial diagnosis.  My mom has decided to call herself a lung cancer survivor rather than saying "I have lung cancer".  According to the statistics, my mom isn't supposed to be here.  Nor are many others on this forum.  Statistics/progression free survival/etc is not who your mom is, nor does it define my mom.  Originally, my mom asked her doc if she was just buying time.  Her doc said "yes".  Well, the time that my mom "bought" has been great.  She lives her life to the fullest and has recently tried new things like painting and going to hockey games.  Honestly, we both feel that our lives are fuller because my mom is a lung cancer survivor.  The journey here was hell and I definitely would not have said this 2 years ago. This is probably not the last time my  mom has to deal with lung cancer.  We've both accepted that, but when it does recur, we know that treatment advances with again help her to buy time.  
    I know that your mom has a long road ahead, but please know there is HOPE.
    Take Care, 
    Steff
  16. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Rower Michelle in Possible recurrence   
    St Michael,
    I've been keeping track of your mom's lung cancer recurrence journey here.  I finally feel like I might have something helpful to share.  My message is one of HOPE.  I received a punch in the gut when my mom was diagnosed with her lung cancer recurrence 3 years ago, 1 year after finishing treatment for NSCLC adenocarcinoma, stage 3a.  Her lung cancer recurred on the back of her trachea, closing it to about 30% airflow and requiring a stent.  At original diagnosis, testing for mutations was too new, but with her recurrence, she found that she had a high PD-L1 level and was a good candidate for immunotherapy.  So, not only was my mom diagnosed with lung cancer AGAIN, their treatment recommendation was not the traditional one (chemo and radiation), they were suggesting this new, fancy immunotherapy drug.  I was doubly scared and feared the worst.  It took me nearly a year to calm down and accept that my mom had lung cancer again. That is where I began to understand that these days, lung cancer is often being treated as a chronic disease (as you mentioned).  My mom already has a couple of chronic conditions - rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes, what's another one! lol   My mom's road to NED was not a walk in the park, but she made it.  
    We have just surpassed 4 years since initial diagnosis.  My mom has decided to call herself a lung cancer survivor rather than saying "I have lung cancer".  According to the statistics, my mom isn't supposed to be here.  Nor are many others on this forum.  Statistics/progression free survival/etc is not who your mom is, nor does it define my mom.  Originally, my mom asked her doc if she was just buying time.  Her doc said "yes".  Well, the time that my mom "bought" has been great.  She lives her life to the fullest and has recently tried new things like painting and going to hockey games.  Honestly, we both feel that our lives are fuller because my mom is a lung cancer survivor.  The journey here was hell and I definitely would not have said this 2 years ago. This is probably not the last time my  mom has to deal with lung cancer.  We've both accepted that, but when it does recur, we know that treatment advances with again help her to buy time.  
    I know that your mom has a long road ahead, but please know there is HOPE.
    Take Care, 
    Steff
  17. Like
    Steff got a reaction from BridgetO in New Diagnosis -- Please if anyone can help with symptoms   
    Jenny,
    I'm sorry to hear about the troubles your husband is having.  My mom had to have fluid drained from her lung several times during her most recent bout of lung cancer.  What we learned through this process is that the ER is not the best place to decide how much fluid is too much.  If your husband is having trouble breathing due to the fluid build up, he should probably have it drained.  Is he involved with a pulmonologist yet? Or are you able to get with the doc who drained the fluid to ask if he can get it drained again?  My mom's pulmonologist began removing fluid from my mom's lung as a simple outpatient procedure.  This was happening every few weeks and they discussed inserting a temporary drain to keep the fluid drained, but the issue eventually got resolved prior to the drain being inserted.  My mom would feel short of breath even with a small amount of fluid build up.  Everyone is different, but if your husband is struggling, I would push to get it drained again and maybe look into having a drain temporarily inserted to provide continuous relief.  
    Another big help for my mom, like Michelle said, was the wedge pillow.  My mom now has an adjustable bed and even 4 years after initial diagnosis, she still sleeps on a slight incline.  You can get them online or at your local medical store.
    Finally, I understand your fear of your husband's current struggle and the impending cancer treatment.  With my mom's most recent lung cancer battle, there was a time that I thought we would have to quit treatment completely - this was 2 months after starting chemo and immunotherapy.  My mom was hospitalized for nearly 2 weeks with pleural effusion that ended up being a complication from pneumonia and having inflection throughout her body.  It was a really tough time and I felt helpless because there was nothing I could do to help.  But with her doctor's care, medications, and her will to fight, she made it through and continued on with treatment.  So, there is HOPE - everyone on this forum is the epitome of HOPE.  Your husband has a tough journey ahead, but with the recent advances in lung cancer treatment and care, there is HOPE for him as well.
    Please know we are here for you. There will be lots of questions along the way, please feel free to use us as a resource.
    Take Care,
    Steff
  18. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Tom Galli in New Diagnosis -- Please if anyone can help with symptoms   
    Jenny,
    I'm sorry to hear about the troubles your husband is having.  My mom had to have fluid drained from her lung several times during her most recent bout of lung cancer.  What we learned through this process is that the ER is not the best place to decide how much fluid is too much.  If your husband is having trouble breathing due to the fluid build up, he should probably have it drained.  Is he involved with a pulmonologist yet? Or are you able to get with the doc who drained the fluid to ask if he can get it drained again?  My mom's pulmonologist began removing fluid from my mom's lung as a simple outpatient procedure.  This was happening every few weeks and they discussed inserting a temporary drain to keep the fluid drained, but the issue eventually got resolved prior to the drain being inserted.  My mom would feel short of breath even with a small amount of fluid build up.  Everyone is different, but if your husband is struggling, I would push to get it drained again and maybe look into having a drain temporarily inserted to provide continuous relief.  
    Another big help for my mom, like Michelle said, was the wedge pillow.  My mom now has an adjustable bed and even 4 years after initial diagnosis, she still sleeps on a slight incline.  You can get them online or at your local medical store.
    Finally, I understand your fear of your husband's current struggle and the impending cancer treatment.  With my mom's most recent lung cancer battle, there was a time that I thought we would have to quit treatment completely - this was 2 months after starting chemo and immunotherapy.  My mom was hospitalized for nearly 2 weeks with pleural effusion that ended up being a complication from pneumonia and having inflection throughout her body.  It was a really tough time and I felt helpless because there was nothing I could do to help.  But with her doctor's care, medications, and her will to fight, she made it through and continued on with treatment.  So, there is HOPE - everyone on this forum is the epitome of HOPE.  Your husband has a tough journey ahead, but with the recent advances in lung cancer treatment and care, there is HOPE for him as well.
    Please know we are here for you. There will be lots of questions along the way, please feel free to use us as a resource.
    Take Care,
    Steff
  19. Like
    Steff reacted to DFK in Durvalumab   
    Good Wednesday to all,
    Just bagged #25.....and dovetailed a root canal right after Durvalumab infusion. Labs normal and feeling pretty darn good overall despite assault on my tooth. Nasty stuff that root canal......haven't needed any dental work other than cleanings for the past 14 years so it was quite an eye opener to have sat for 90 minutes of work. But it's a done deal and I can move forward to a crown. 
    Last infusion in two weeks and it can't be soon enough. I'm really, really hoping, I mean REALLY, REALLY hoping for some normalcy in my physicality, in my routine. I have been flying out of town for almost 17 months of treatments and will not miss my 4:30am wake up alarm and that leaving in the dark, returning home in the dark drudgery, NOT another day at the airport routine. Funny thing though, I feel overwhelming blessed to have the opportunity of "modern day" medicine and knowing that my predecessors did not have as many choices that I have been afforded.....humbling on so many levels. 
    I already have my PET Scan scheduled for 4 weeks after my last infusion. And if all goes according to MY plan, my port will be removed and I will be in "surveillance" mode. As I pontificate and bemoan my "C" status to the only person (outside of my spouse and kids) that knows about my diagnosis, he shuts me up pretty darn quick, by telling me that I've come out on top of almost every scan and test and procedure that they have thrown at me. How true, how true. I suppose it takes an objective viewer to summarize my journey. For if you were to ask me, my journey has been brutal and taxing and depleted every core ounce of strength in my being.....I know, I know, what a drama queen! And with that note, I better quit before I dig an even bigger pity hole.
    Enjoy your day and greet it head on with gratitude.
    Take Care, DFK
     
     
  20. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Mally in Mally   
    Great news!
  21. Like
    Steff reacted to Mally in Mally   
    Well I got my results of my scan today and all is good with no new spots anywhere so NED is feeling pretty good right now and I hope you are all doing well too ...my only problem is this inflammatory pain which is not comfortable but a common side effect and if I use my cold pack on my shoulder and neck it soon settles so forward march and I'm planning a holiday for my birthday in march and my 4 kids and partners and lots of my grandkids are coming for a trip down memory lane to the little town I lived my first 10 yrs of life in and i cant wait to watch my grandkids swim in the same swimming pool that i swam in all those years ago and to visit the school that i started in ....sorry about the ramble but makes me feel good ...
  22. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Tom Galli in Radiation too soon to tell??   
    Joanne,
    I too am sorry to hear about your dad.  Seeing our loved one in pain and suffering is a lot to handle.  There were times during my mom's treatment that were really hard to watch because of the bad effects that were either from the cancer or treatment.  She has had several hospital stays, the longest being nearly 2 weeks - this stay was for infection throughout her body, pneumonia, and pleural effusion.  Basically, an infection that started in her trachea due to a tracheal stent wreaked havoc on her body.  I honestly thought that it was the beginning of the end and it was so hard to watch.  So, are you too worried? -I don't think so, your dad is hurting and that is worrisome. 
    I've known a couple of people who have had staph infections and they said it was very painful at times.  If your dad was doing well prior to this with the radiation and meds, the pain very well could be from the staph.  Hopefully once the staph is under control, he will feel some relief.  His recovery from this will likely delay his immunotherapy, which is okay.  My mom's initial lobectomy had to be delayed due to the medications she was taking, then her initial chemo & radiation was delayed due to a longer recovery from the lobectomy.  She spent about 1.5 years on immunotherapy and had to have a few doses delayed, or she missed them entirely, due to lung cancer complications.  It's pretty normal for things not to go as planned and that is okay.  Your dad needs to recover and be as strong as possible for his next bout of treatment.  So, please don't feel discouraged if the immunotherapy is delayed.  Basically, control is out of our hands and we just have to go with the flow and follow doctor's orders in these types of cases.  
    I am happy that your dad has you as an advocate and caregiver. No matter how strong someone is, they always need someone in their corner to cheer them on, make them their favorite meal, or be their voice when their's is lost (or in my mom's case, change her bed sheets! lol).  I wish you the best in this journey.  It's not a fun one, but there has been some very positive things come from my mom's cancer journey, including a new appreciation of life.  I hope that you can find the little things that bring hope to your life.
    Take Care,
    Steff
     
  23. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Kate7617 in Kate7617   
    Kate,
    I am sorry you are feeling that you have no support from your family.  DFK and Curt have some really good points.  As a caregiver and very caring person, I have often found myself at a loss for words when dealing with my mom's cancer journey.  Some of it is due to being overwhelmed, other times it's from pure exhaustion.  The reality is that lots of folks don't deal with other people's pain/suffering/negative feelings/etc very well.  Perhaps your daughter-in-laws are included in this group.  But no matter how supportive or unsupportive a person is, those of us on the "outside" of lung cancer have a hard time figuring out the best way to help.  Most of us need to be told what to do and how to help.  Have you done that? Have you been specific in telling people what your needs are?  While with your family, are you acting like all is okay even though it might not be? If so, your family might be taking this cue from you and acting as if all is okay too.  Asking for help or telling your daughter-in-laws what you need from them does not mean they will be "fake" if/when they change their behavior.  Perhaps all they needed was to be told what their role is in your battle.  
    I hope you are able to get the support you want from somewhere, whether it is from your family, friends, a support group, or here.  
    Take Care,
    Steff
  24. Like
    Steff got a reaction from BridgetO in Kate7617   
    Kate,
    I am sorry you are feeling that you have no support from your family.  DFK and Curt have some really good points.  As a caregiver and very caring person, I have often found myself at a loss for words when dealing with my mom's cancer journey.  Some of it is due to being overwhelmed, other times it's from pure exhaustion.  The reality is that lots of folks don't deal with other people's pain/suffering/negative feelings/etc very well.  Perhaps your daughter-in-laws are included in this group.  But no matter how supportive or unsupportive a person is, those of us on the "outside" of lung cancer have a hard time figuring out the best way to help.  Most of us need to be told what to do and how to help.  Have you done that? Have you been specific in telling people what your needs are?  While with your family, are you acting like all is okay even though it might not be? If so, your family might be taking this cue from you and acting as if all is okay too.  Asking for help or telling your daughter-in-laws what you need from them does not mean they will be "fake" if/when they change their behavior.  Perhaps all they needed was to be told what their role is in your battle.  
    I hope you are able to get the support you want from somewhere, whether it is from your family, friends, a support group, or here.  
    Take Care,
    Steff
  25. Like
    Steff got a reaction from Curt in Kate7617   
    Kate,
    I am sorry you are feeling that you have no support from your family.  DFK and Curt have some really good points.  As a caregiver and very caring person, I have often found myself at a loss for words when dealing with my mom's cancer journey.  Some of it is due to being overwhelmed, other times it's from pure exhaustion.  The reality is that lots of folks don't deal with other people's pain/suffering/negative feelings/etc very well.  Perhaps your daughter-in-laws are included in this group.  But no matter how supportive or unsupportive a person is, those of us on the "outside" of lung cancer have a hard time figuring out the best way to help.  Most of us need to be told what to do and how to help.  Have you done that? Have you been specific in telling people what your needs are?  While with your family, are you acting like all is okay even though it might not be? If so, your family might be taking this cue from you and acting as if all is okay too.  Asking for help or telling your daughter-in-laws what you need from them does not mean they will be "fake" if/when they change their behavior.  Perhaps all they needed was to be told what their role is in your battle.  
    I hope you are able to get the support you want from somewhere, whether it is from your family, friends, a support group, or here.  
    Take Care,
    Steff
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