Hi this is my first time at attempting to share. My daughters signed me up with Chemo angels and it's been wonderful. With them I haven't needed to talked about my fears, only receive wonderful notes from wonderful people.
This is my second time at the lung cancer scare. I was told they had gotten it all six years ago with surguery. At the surprise of my doctors and my family we learned the day before Thanksgiving this year the tumor has returned and is inoperable. I'm now 17 days into radiation and on my 5th Chemo treatment. I'm told I'm doing well but won't know until three weeks after my last radiation if it has shrunk or not. So far my first Pet Scan showed that it hadn't gone outside the lung cavity so I hold onto that blessing.
My daughters live in San Diego and I'm still in Oregon until I finish my first round of treatment. I miss them very much. I become very lonely and seem to cry a great deal these days. They tell me my cancer is non small cell but the tumor is sizable. I try not to feel sorry for my self but admit to the fear in dying a such a young age. My youngest daughter got married in August and I hope to be around to be a part of the birth of their first baby. It's important to her an myself as well. I have three grandchildren by my oldest and have a close realationship with all three. They call me their crazy granny!! My youngest daughter was born on my birthday and our bond is strong. I'm heartsick about this latest road bump and we all are.
I had to quit my jop at the U of O as I was unable to perform my duties as the house director. The jop is taxing and the the house is approx 38,000sq.ft. It's allot to keep up and I have a large staff to look after. I miss it terribly and feel sad about leaving.
This is my first attempt so please bare with me.
June
