my husband received a call from his half sister this monday (aren't in contact with each other EVER) telling him that his dad has been in the hospital on and off for the past 2 weeks and has Stage 4 LC! It's spread to his back and now to the throat. He's in a VA hospital now after being forced by his brother to check himself in.....couldn't walk and had lost 40 lbs in 2 weeks! Today when we called the sister (we're out of the area but are going to see him tomorrow) after her visit with him, she said the cancer had spread to his throat. He's mostly coherent but will occasionally drift off onto a subject like finding his keys to his truck. I remember this is how my gparents got at their end of their bout with LC (both died within 3 months of each other last year with lung cancer). I know theirs went to their brain and am concerned it has gone to my father-in-law's as well. However, the VA Hosptial wants to transport him for treatment (he's refused treatment since he was first dx back in June of last year-he had this and never told anyone!) and with it being in stage 4 and already have spread to 2 other places, why would the hosptial ship him to Philadelphia for a treatment for his throat? doesn't this seem wrong? I don't want to see him be put thru chemo or any other type of treatment that will only make his suffering prolonged and moreso....if he really wants it that's fine but i don't think, from what i hear, that he's all there and he's never wanted to be in hosptials, etc...that's why he was forced to go back after not being able to walk over the weekend. why are the dr's doing this to him? i intend on asking them questions when i get there tomorrow to make sure his comfort level is main priority....any thoughts on his condition? soudns like he's got only a couple of months-to weeks to live. the dr. told the sister he's got 6 months but after dealing and seeing first hand what LC can do once it's spread, i know his time with us is shorter than 6 months.
any advice or input into his condition would be appreciated..or even experience with Veterans' Hospitals.
Update from yesterday's visit:
We just got back from seeing him yesterday. He was unrecognizable. In much pain. Had to go to the nurses station and request pain meds for him! Very hard seeing him in such pain and seeing my husband look at his father in this state. He doesn't seem to acknowledge that he's dying. Although the drs told us he knows what's going on..i don't think he does entirely. he kept saying he's going to have tests done and have surgery that should help him. However, that's not the case. when talking to the dr, we found out he had a mass in his lung found over this past summer..he refused a biopsy...then had back pains so went to dr for that and thought it would just be from his disc problems...no it was cancer.....the cancer apparently spread from his right lung to all over his spine, his hips, his legs (his one leg is almost paralyzed..can't walk), his collar bones, his lymph nodes, his throat. Said it isn't in his brain yet. dr's won't talk to us since he's still fairly lucid. living a couple of hours away, we can't be there every day to get a daily update...very frustrating. we suggested hospice but they will only move him there IF the father wants that. very sad to see this...husband isn't taking this well and harder on him since his relationship with his dad was less than favorable throughout his life. his dad, by the way, is only 59 and was a heavy smoker forEVER!
