Tammyge

What can I say except this week really sucks. This is the first Christmas without my dad and I'm daddy's little girl… So far this week I’ve been hiding from reality by doing a house project to keep my mind off of things – I must admit its been a great help this week. Everything that could possible go wrong has gone wrong for my husband and I this year and I’ve been praying for 2006 to come since the spring. I can’t even come up with any good things that have happened this year. My husband and I were also both laid off in 2005 and are entering 2006 without jobs – so I’m hoping for job offers in 2006. My mind at the moment is on this weekend. We spend Christmas eve with my in laws and I’d really love to hide in the background and not be noticed at dinner etc. Part of me doesn’t even want them to notice any sadness. I’m so not looking forward to any holiday activity this weekend. Christmas day we do with my family and I’m not looking forward to that either. Anyway, should also be interesting as my relationship with my sister hasn’t been well this year either. I’ve only talked to her about 10 or 12 weeks total this year and haven’t spoken to her since mid May. She flies off the handle for no reason and I can’t keep letting her back in my life without talking about it. She just likes to jump back in like nothing ever happened. I didn’t talk to my sister throughout my dad’s battle with cancer either. My whole family agrees something’s up with her. My husband, aunt and myself cleaned out and sold my dad’s house without any help from her too. I did keep thinking she should be right by my side many many times. As I’ve told family – I’m leaving it in God’s hands to resolve it with my sister and if its meant to be it will. Hasn’t been a good night – I guess I should have painted another coat or two in the half bath (room I’m redoing to keep my mind off of things). Thanks for listening – I need a few good ears!! Prayers to everyone for a good holiday

Definitely keep the faith and hope - that will get you through. Try getting family or friends more involved - I know its hard and maybe some family ise keeping distant as they are already in the grief stage (had that problem with my sister). I found out the more specific I was in the help I need with family it was a bit easier. I discovered that doctors don't like to give progonsis at all - so if you do ask privately you may not get an answer. Live every minute to the fullest and take a few minute break for yourself - it will reenergize greatly!!!

my deepest sympathy in the passing of your husband. Prayers are with you Tammy

Hi Mary - My deepest sympathy in the passing of your dad. Prayers are with you!!! Tammy

Thank you all - I pray they will find a cure for this and in the meantime I'm planning on being part of the forum to support others. Take Care Tammy

wow so eleoquently written. I've discovered that friends want to help, however are afraid of hurting you more. prayers are with you.

Hi - My father lost his battle with lung cancer on May 8th. As much pain as his passing has caused he fought a courageous battle. Thank you all - there's been so many times I've surfed around the messages board and its brought comfort to me. You and your families will continue to be in my prayers. Tammy

What a crazy day or so its been with my dad. He had his first treatment of chemo on Monday. Yesterday am he was able to unbutton his shirt take off his tshirt etc and today he can't. He was constapated (sp??) and we ended up calling the visiting nurse to give him an emina. It clear him, however he's losing control of his bladder and now needs assistance with wiping etc. We had to buy depends for him last night as well. His feet are swollen too. We do have a dr for him this afternoon. My mom thinks he's going to be admitted. I'm just so mentally worn out(feel like a zombie) and the past few days he's gone downhill so quickly. Honestly - is this the chemo, cancer or both? what do you see with chemo treatments? Just trying to see how out of the norm this is if any.

Keep the faith - Its amazing how antibotics(phomonea) and IV can bring back someone's energy. Saw it recently with my dad. your in my prayers

Prayers are with you and Mike.

Hi - My dad has LC and radiation has done wonders for his spine mets. He was recently hospitalized for dehydration and Phomonea and spent 2 weeks there. Apparently if they don't breath deep there is an increased chance of virus in the chest. He was also coughing up mucus, which has reduced since then. Definitely check with the doc. Take it hour by hour - here if you need to vent

So Sorry to hear about your father in law. Try to focus on the smaller items instead of the big picture. Everytime I look at the big picture I start to freak myself out. My father has stage IV LC (Liver, spine, Ribs) and its hard to see him in pain, however a relief when he has the good days. Hang in There!! My prayers are with you.

Thank you all for your kind words!! My husband, sister and I spent the evening/this am in the ER, as my dad was dehydrated. I found out this am they want to run more test, Xray, blood, MRI and something else that escapes me at the moment. Their concerned about the lungs and I'm concerned about his hips. He's been having some pain and I'm worried its now in his hip bones, but then earlier in the week they said it could be from the radiation for the spine. He is on pain medicine - Percoet, as a base and then another one for the spikes, and a liquid if its too bad. Found out from the nurses station, their increasing his pain meds - with the meds before he was saying it was a 5. I was glad to hear that to make him more comfortable, however he's also on a steriod, that they believed aided in dehydrating him. I was updating me aunt this am and she disturbed me - I think I let my sister and husband provide her updates. She's not helping me remain positive. You and your families are in my prayers.

Hi - Just found the website and its been comforting in a way reading the posting as well as heartbreaking. My dad has Stage lV lung cancer and everything starting unfolding about 4 - 5 weeks ago. It took us over a week to get my dad to a doctor - we were all thinking pnomonia, but then they saw a mass and several tests later we found out it was lung cancer and spread to the lymph knodes, bones (spine & few Ribs), liver. He start radiation for the spine 4 days ago and so far is taking it well, however he isn't feeling any less pain. The tumor is pressing on the spinal cord. They tell me he has about a year. They need to relieve the spine before chemo. Its been so heart breaking as I'm a daddy's girl and to see my dad in pain as well as staying with me. My dad has a house about 90 minutes from me and he's going to the doctors near me and my sister. It hard to see him in so much pain and my inability to escape this. My sister and my aunt can escape it and talk to him daily, but he's living with me and my husband, whose been an absolute gem. With my dad in so much pain and bad with handling stress its hard, I was talking with him before and it made me wonder if he's really going try fighting this to live longer. I could definitely tell he's depressed. I'm just trying to figure out how to survive this, I have an amazing husband (who my dad thinks of as his son) and a few friends I'm leaning on. Any tips on getting through this besides one day at a time? From anyone's experience with their family members - will my father keep going in and out of phases of being depressed? Thanks for listening