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StarryNite

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  1. Thank you so much for your posts, Melanie, Maryanne and Natalie. Again, you are all so wonderful. Melanie, what you have been through is just... inconceivable... and yet you still give hope to others, you are truly remarkable and I am sure your parents, up in heaven, are very, very proud of your strength, courage and thoughtfulness. Thank you for the words, they have touched my heart deeply and you are so right. Sometimes I just forget the simple faith I have had all my life and get too caught up in the pain and hardship of life, but God has always seen us through and He will see us through this as well, one way or another, thank you again... You are a very loving, thoughtful person. Natalie, thank you again for your kind words and offer of support to us, you are a remarkable person as well and my prayers and thoughts are with you. I know one day I may lose my Mom as you have your mom, I can't think about that now, hope I won't have to for many years, but I know the pain of losing my father and how devistated I was, and still am, at his leaving this world, my heart goes out to you. Mom told me tonight she is not going to undergo anymore Chemo, she's done. She's only had two treatments but they are so hard on her, causing her so much pain, we have to support her decision. It's all in God's hands now and I just pray the cancer is gone. Again, thank you. Lisa
  2. I must say I am overwhelmed and so thankful for all of your posts, you are all so wonderful and kind and thoughtful. I feel awful in hindsight talking about all my problems when you have all gone through so much more than I... I guess I just worry about being homeless and peniless with my baby, but as you have all said, God is watching over and we will find our way. Sometimes times like this feel like you are cursed, and that God has forogotten you and you feel so alone. My life has always been hard and after losing my father I was never the same, nor was mom. You all give me true renewed faith, you are so helping and positive even through your own pain. Carole, her dad does give us some money, or at least has since we left, paid us support, $600 a month it's supposed to be, but not nearly enough to really support her in daycare and food and diapers and such. I need to find a good job, but first I need help with daycare from the state to be able to work and support us so I am waiting to be settled somewhere. Tree, your baby is ADORABLE, and so new to this world congratulations on the little one! I remember when my Maya was that little, it goes so fast. And thank you for the advice, yes, it sounds like we are in similar yet different situations, the money makes it easier, I am sure, but what it comes down to is our mom's being ill that breaks our heart and it's important for her to be near her grandchildren at this time. I LOVE your quotes Once I am on my own computer again I will post a pic of us as well. If they don't take it in the upcoming bankruptcy Thank you Tiny, for the prayers, and to everyone for your support, it has really helped me a lot. I think mom is going to stop the Chemo she just can't handle being sick as she has been. She was so ecstatic after the operation, saying "I'm so happy I'm going to live, can't get rid of me that easily!" and was so strong, but since she has found out she needs chemo and cancer still there, and lost her hair and so sick, she seemed to have lost steam and not really care or just doesn't wanna go through the pain of Chemo, I don't really blame her, not sure I would do it at all... it's just hard... but I don't want to see her in this pain anymore either. Stand4hope, thank you for your words, they ring with much truth to me, something we tend to forget... Footprints... I'm happy to have found new friends here. Thank you again for all your support Huggsss Starry
  3. Thank you all SO much for your kind replies, prayers and concern. It is nice to be able to talk with people who understand the pain of dealing with all of this, though I wish no one ever had to I am so torn right now. When we first found out my mom had LC we had standing plans where I was going to get a place with her in the mountains and she was going to take care of my baby while I worked and my boyfriend (my baby's father) and I were going to support her in turn, we were all excited about the plan. Then this happened and mom went from her condo to CA and never went back, in fact my sister is out there right now moving her stuff out here. All mom wanted was for me to be with her and move out here and at the time it seemed like the best thing to do as I wanted to be with her as well. My boyfriend refused to move with us so we just packed up whatever fit in my minivan and came out here. We want to still live in a country setting so mom and I have been driving around Northern CA and Tahoe looking for an area to live but it's sort of a wing and a prayer as I only have a few hundred dollars to my name and that is it, no assets, nothing . My sister is going to help my mom out by buying her a nice car and giving her some money, but I feel bad that I don't have anything to give, and I have become so stressed out I am not sure I am even any support to her at all right now, everything I hoped to accomplish has turned out completely wrong and now my daughter's father wants us to come back as he misses her (and me) though we never really did get along to begin with I feel bad taking my daughter so far away from him. So I am torn between living the last years of my mom's life here with her so she can be with her grandaughter and I, or keeping my baby so far from her father, it seems like an imposible situation and decision. Mom doesn't want to be alone and won't stay with my sister (don't blame her there) and she won't go back to CO, and my boyfriend won't come out here...what to do... Someone posted here that mentioned that I need to be in CA 6 months to get benefits, I need to call to check on that because there is no way we can stay without help with daycare expense from the state, if that is the case I have to go back. Anyway, I hope to get mom on here soon so that she can share with you all and not feel so alone. She has been really depressed, especially at the hair loss, and her doctor just prescribed antidepresants which we hope will help, she had the tendency to get really depressed even before the LC. She is not very computer savy and very shy, but I got her here to read the messages and she read them all night and made her feel better in some ways but she was crying because of all that you all have had to suffer, she's very sensitive to other's suffering, more so than her own, she's a very special lady. I know that reading your posts have helped her feel not so alone though, she wanted to make sure I bookmarked the site so she can return when she is feeling better. Also, she complains of severe pain in her chest, always right after the chemo treatment, is this common? Thank you all again for your wonderful hearts and spirits and kindness, you are all so brave and it's okay to cry Justakid...it's a release and to deal with this horrible thing so early in your life..well, it's just not fair but you will beat it and be stronger than ever in the end, I am praying for you all. Huggsss Starry
  4. I have been following this board for some time... you are all so courageous and wonderful... I had no idea about cancer, I guess no one does, until it hits your family. My mom was diagnosed with stage Ib lung cancer in February of this year, 2005. Sounds good right, Ib, well, here is what happened. Last year around this time mom had a chest xray and it came out clear except for small scarring on one spot which even my sister didn't question (my sister is a surgeon). In feb of this year mom started coughing up blood pretty bad for a few weeks, she told sis and sis flew her out to Sacramento for tests. Mom got the tests right away and and Pet scan. Xray and CAT showed a mass in her left upper lung, pet lit up only that mass so they scheduled her for sugury. Within a week she had her upper left lobe removed by Dr. Graves, an excellent surgeon, only he found positive medial stinal (sp?) nodes (after path) meaning her pet was a false negative... my sister tells me the PET has a 3% chance of being innacurate. Anyway, they put mom on Chemo, she started with Taxol and CarboPlatnum and had a horrible reaction with muscle pain and nausea so they changed it for second regimine, she is a few days in now and doing better than the Taxol, but so weak and chest hurts. We are unsure of the stage of her cancer now, it went from Ib to IIIa from diagnosis to post op. I am 37 years old and my mom is 70, she is and has always been my strength and heart and the center of my world, her and my daughter of 16 months. We both had to leave Colorado on a moments notice cuz she lived 10,000 feet up in the rockies and move to CA. Currently we are living in my sister's house with no home of our own and it's been so hard. I am without work and am not sure where or even how to make a new life for us all...My sister has room for mom but not my daughter and I, and I am not sure where to turn because I want to be near her. I had to move here as well because mom wants my daughter and I with her more than anything in the world, as do I want to be near her, but I don't think I have helped at all with all the stress. I have not been nearly as strong as I thought I was. They say God won't give you more than you can handle... but I am unsure this time around... If you can spare a prayer please send it our way. I am preying for you all, you give my heart hope in your courage and love of life. God Bless Starry
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