Elonda

I wanted to thank everyone for the messages and prayers that were given. This board has helped so much and I will continue to come to this board as I grieve. My mom (Linda Akers) passed away June 11th at 6:15 p.m. at the age of 60. My brother and I were each holding a hand as my mom passed. The whole family was there with her also. It was so hard to tell her that it was ok to go. I just kept telling her not to worry about me that I would be fine. I have just lost my very best friend. Thank you for everything.......... Elonda

Thank you so much for the suggestions Peggy. We have a doctors appt tomorrow and I will definitely ask the lasix. I know this is going to be a long hard road but I here for whatever she needs. My brother is on the other end of it because he wants to be here with her all the time. So I try to keep him filled in and give them so alone time when he comes to visit and then we visit together. I have learned to tell her I love her every chance I get. Thank you Love Elonda

Hello Everyone, I am at my wits end. We have tried everything under the sun to try to keep moms feet/ankles/legs from causing her so much pain. The hospice nurses tell us that this is part of the process but I just feel helpless letting her sit there and moan because she is in such pain. The nurses have told us that this is because mom is basically surviving on one lung and it isn't strong enough to distribute blood to her entire body so it only sends to the main organs. This is why they are swelling so bad and all of her extremities are so cold. I would like to know if anyone has come across the problem before and would they have any suggestions as to what we could try to make her comfortable. We have soaked her feet in epsom salts, aveeno baths, also used the aveeno to keep the itching down (this according to local pharmacist). But she has scratched and now they are weeping. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you Elonda

Hello Everyone, Thank you so much for all the support and kind words. Mom is getting worse much faster then we ever thought. She is to the point now that she spends most of her time dozing from the medicine, she hardly ever gets any amount of rest, and I have finally got her to take the morphine and that gives her about 3 hours of sleep at a time on a good day. I can still only get her to take it at night. The right lung according the hospice RN has totally been taken over by the cancer. They no longer hear anything when they check. So we're down to one lung. Her feet are sooooo swollen that they just look like the skin is going to tear any minute. I have to help her everywhere she goes now and we no longer get out of the house unless it is to see the doctor. The hospice nurse told us last week on tuesday that if anyone in the family wanted to have a quality conversation with her to come now because she would more then likely be totally bed ridden within 2 weeks. So we sent for her sister in Washington state. I spend almost all of my time with mom now. I am also going through a divorce. All of this came about at the same time. So basically I told the husband that he would have to wait my mom came first. Even with everything going on with my mom she is more worried about me and my divorce. I finally had to take the medicine away from her because she was taking the wrong times and taking too much. It is so hard to watch my mom go from being able to walk and talk at the beginning of May to not being able to walk alone at all, sometimes she can't even talk, a two year old talks better, and now we have pullups on mom and I have to give her a bath. She just broke down and cried the other day because she kept telling me she was helpless. I just kept telling her that she was sick and that we didn't expect her to do anything. That my brother and I were there to take care of her and get whatever she needed. She said but i'm never going to get better. I said "I know you won't mom but we're her to make sure that your time with us is comfortable and as unpainful as possible." She fell about the second weekend in May and broke her nose. Then last week I went to get her medicine and while I was gone that split second she was up and lost her balance and fell. Luckily nothing was broke. She is an extremely brave woman and I do everything I possibly can to make her comfortable and to get her what she needs. But it is so hard to watch her go down hill right before my eyes. Thank you so much for listening. It has been a great help to me. Elonda

Hello, My mom has chosen the path less travelled. She has been diagnosed with metasis lung cancer. On April 27, 2005 she found out that it was in her brain, adrenal glands, liver, bones, and a 5cm knot on the outside of her right breast which is where her lung cancer is. She has made the choice to live out the rest of her life with as much quality as she can. It's been extremely hard especially for her (of course). She realizes that because she has smoked for my entire adult life (i'm 39) that this is a big part of why she is sick. But she also says that she has lived a good life and has made peace with the man upstairs and did that years ago. It's been hard for us also. I feel like my mom is trying to have some control over her life right now. That being she is making her funeral arrangements, giving her things away to who she wishes them to go to and is trying to take things one day at a time. It has been extremely hard having to separate my mothers things out and sort through papers, pick out what she will be buried in and just basically get her things in order. We have tried to be strong for mom and do what she asks of us. We support her in her to decision and stand beside her all the way. My mom is only 59 yoa and far too young to be going through this but no matter what she has her family and that is the most important thing right now. I came to this support group to try to open up and share some of the feelings i'm having because I feel that is important. Thank you for listening. Elonda ______________

Hello Everyone, I started reading posts several days ago. My mother was diagnosed with metasis lung cancer on April 27, 2005. She also has it in her brain, adrenal glands, liver, bones, and outside of her right breast. Lung cancer is in right lung. My mom has been a smoker for at least 40 years. I am 39 and fixing to turn 40. She has always had a cough which we contributed to being a smokers cough. Then a couple of years ago mom started getting pneumonia about once a year. Then this year she got it 2 or 3 times. She couldn't seem to get rid of it. In November of 2004 a knot about 5cm in size appeared on her right breast. She waited to go to the doctor do to no insurance. Finally I got her into the health clinic and got some county help. They were still treating her for pneumonia. During this time I watched my mother gasping for air and the doctors saying that the pneumonia was causing it but they couldn't get it cleared up. We (brother and I) finally loaded my mom up and took her to the emergency room because she couldn't breath. Monday night we were told it was just an infection in her lungs. Tuesday morning they said no it's not an infection we want to do a lung biopsy. By tuesday afternoon we knew mom had lung cancer. Wednesday they ran a total body scan and we were told about every where else it was. My mom was in the hospital for 4 days and when she was released the hospice care took over. They have given my mom 3 months or less to live. Due to the lack of insurance and my mom only being 59 she basically fell through the cracks when it came to social security and medicaid. My dad had his leg removed in January of 2003 and is on a VA pension but mom didn't have anything. It is a terrible feeling to know that your mother is dying and you don't know whether there is anyone out there who is willing to help. My mom and dad made choices in there life that they wish they could go back and change but we all make them at that time in our lives thinking that they are the best thing for us. We don't realize what kind of consequences they will have in the future. The scariest feeling is trying to figure out how to make sure that the days that she has left are days that are not painful for her. My mother made a choice to come home with her family and live out the days she had left with as much quality as she could possibly have. Because of some wonderful people in our area and a group called Nurses in Touch my mother is getting the care that she needs. Thanks to Apria donating the oxygen my mom needs she is able to get around and spend time with her family without gasping for air. As far as I'm concerned my mom is the most courageous person I know. My mom takes it one day at a time and spends as much time as she can with her family and friends.