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missyk

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Posts posted by missyk


  1. Sheri...

    I'm "infrequent" at best around here...but I do stop in and I saw this and wanted to comment...or at least share with you MY experience.

    I lost my mother...and my best friend/confidant/etc (you name it, she filled that position for me)...in May of 2007...not too long over a year ago, and I thought my world had ended. I posted that she'd passed on here and got a "decent" number of comments. And Mom had been a member.

    There aren't as many children that stay around as there are widows/widowers, it seems to me...at least not as regularly. We get swept up in our lives, our children, our jobs....and miss some of the things that we SHOULD be catching on this board to try to be supportive and helpful because we ARE the ones who've been there and know what you're going through...at least somewhat.

    My stepmother, when my dad died (also of lung cancer), sent me a box of pictures that he'd kept from the time they were married and it included ALL the photos I'd sent of my daughter. She didn't keep a single one for herself to remind her of her "step" grand daughter and it just absolutely P**SED me off. And, ya know, I've not had contact with her since other than to collect my "inheritance" (which consisted of my father's clarinet and some dishes from HIS mother) and to wish her well...and I'm ok with that.

    Losing a parent when we're still "young" IS totally different than losing a spouse...and I'm sorry I wasn't here to support you better.

    I hope you're starting down your road of healing and will be here if you need me...


  2. I talk with those who knew Mom and share stories, usually the funny ones...the memories keep her close and it reminds me that she IS always there whenever I need to remember her.

    I mow the lawn. First, it gives me the alone time I need to focus and talk to myself in my head, talk to God, talk to Mom...without feeling like a nut. Secondly...it was something Mom and I used to do together. We'd get on the mowers and have a ball mowing, chasing eachother around the yard, picking on who was doing a better job, etc.

    I go swimming. Physical exercise...and something else that we used to do together. Now I take MY kids.

    I write.

    I sit in the dark and I cry when nothing else seemed to work...sometimes it takes the tears to get through to the next moment.


  3. Tinypic.com is also a wonderful hosting site.

    After you've uploaded your photo to their site (one click upload) they give you the html codes to copy/paste....you'd just use the one that says "for message boards" and it already has the html stuff on it. It's just *right click* ->copy...go to the message area you want to post it on and *right click* -> paste. Then you can do more or you can post the message and there it will be!!


  4. I, like a lot of you, figured David A would win while thinking that David Cook should. Of course, I just think of him as a "home town" boy since he's from the KC area and that's close enough for me! (Like anyone from lil Ole Iowa's ever even going to make it past the first round LOL)

    I'm so thrilled that Cook won...and yes, I think Simon knew.

    I don't know if Canadian Idol shows in the states or not...if it does it's on cable stations and not on "regular" tv, so I wouldn't see it anyway. Bummer.


  5. I know I'm coming in on this a bit late but I still wanted to post.

    My daughter was 6 when her grandmother was diagnosed, she was 8 when she died, and she was involved in the whole process...start to finish.

    For her (and it has to be individualized to the child) it was LESS scary to understand it better than to let her imagination run wild. She went with me and her grandmother to a chemo infusion session...she went with us to a radiation session...Mom brought her SRS mesh mask home to show the grandkids...and when Mom died my daughter was with me by her side. I was always honest with my daughter about the struggle her grandmother was having to go through and that it may not turn out how we would like it to. But we also had the discussion that there was no reason to believe, either, that Grandma wouldn't make it to see 100...you just never know for sure.

    It's so hard to know exactly how to deal with it with our children...but as best as you can, let them lead you. You know what they can handle and what they can't. Just remember that our children are amazingly adept at understanding more than we give them credit for.

    Sending good thoughts your way!


  6. Can someone please hand me the Super Glue?? :roll:

    I still have a few days to go and I'm not sure I'm going to make it to that first anniversary of Mom's death without taking someone out...I'm so completely and totally angry I don't even want to be around myself. I keep trying all the old tricks to bump up my mood and they might help for a little while, but then I'm right back to wanting to rip someone (anyone) apart if they even breathe wrong.

    I HATE this stage of grieving...it just plain old stinks. I hate being so angry, so hateful, so obnoxiously irritable...yet I am, down to my core.

    We had to put my 12 year old kitty down last week...I'd gotten her a few months after losing my first daughter. I brought her home to bury her and my husband and I cried non-stop most of the afternoon...to the point where he even said he didn't think he cried that much when his grandmother died. Then we got a new kitten from the Animal Rescue League...unfortunately she would NOT use a litter pan no matter what we tried (or how much money we invested in trying) so I had to take her back and surrender her back to them. My daughter cried her heart out....I bawled while filling out the paperwork. It just feels like I'm never going to go a stretch of time without something else dying...and THAT makes me mad, too!

    Thanks for the vent, all...


  7. Ok, First...Ned just completely cracked me up! :lol::lol::shock:

    Second...Wooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

    (Needless to say, reading that made me very happy...wonder if I get to join the club now too??? *laughs*)

    I think the only thing that mighta made that any better was if you guys had WON while in Atlantic City! :wink:

    Great news and thanks for sharing it with us!!!


  8. Hi karlakay...

    My mother battled brain mets for the entire time she battled the disease as a whole. I remember, vividly, how terrifying the words were the first time we heard them and I'm sending much love and comfort to you and your husband.

    There are many options for treatment of brain mets now-a-days compared to even 10 years ago. As you find out more from the dr's we'll be better able to help you along but the main types of treatment are 1)surgery 2) whole brain radiatin (WBR) or 3) some form of stereotactic radiosurgery (SRS...cyberknife, et al)

    In my mom's experience she did mostly SRS treatments and they worked wonderfully for her.

    Please keep us informed as you form a treatment plan and let us know how things are going.


  9. Hi and welcome to this wonderful place of support and hope!! I'm sorry you've reason to find us, but really glad you did!

    Sounds like you and Larry had one heck of a heaping plateful of yuckiness (I'm trying to be kind and not use bad words :oops: ...but if a situation deserves them, lung cancer does!)

    I remember when Mom finally gave up driving...ticked her off to no end, too! She'd JUST bought a new car a couple months before and then she couldn't drive it!!

    "The Strong One"s are here...many, many of us. :wink: Just don't let out the secret that this is where we sometimes find our strength! :wink:

    Welcome, again...and please, keep us updated on how you and Larry are doing!!


  10. Lots of hugs and understanding coming from this side of "the river" and cheers to Connie B for unloading a whole bunch of great insight.

    Just so you don't feel so alone I have my own little bit of anecdotal (I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong LOL) blabber for you! :lol:

    When my daughter died I was put on antidepressants for the first time in my life (this was almost 13 years ago now) and absolutely HATED that I had to "take a pill" to get back to normal but I just was so completely and totally out of it that I couldn't tell you what color the sky was with any accuracy back then. In the 13 years since then I've had more ups and downs (aren't there always more???) and more times off and on medications, tried drinking some wine (or whiskey, or rum, or vodka...), tried almost all of it. Right now, after Mom's death (and we're almost at a year) I take Xanax (God Bless that stuff!!!!! :wink: ) on those days when I'm still a nut case. The good news is that you eventually (eventually) start getting back on the level for you.

    As I was reading you write about changing the oil in the garden tractor I had to smile...I'm on an acreage myself and my husband does almost all that stuff while giving me "lessons" on how it should be done. My heart aches for the pain you must feel and soars knowing that you did it...and that you have people around you who are helping you when you deserve it most.

    Much love and gentle hugs...


  11. Tarek...

    I'm so sorry you're having to go through this heartache...I know how difficult it is to worry about our parents.

    My mom spent many months only eating a bite or two of banana and sips of iced tea and water. She told me that if it was too cool she couldn't stand to drink it, nor if it was too warm.

    The mets to her brain did strange things to her memory, also. Sometimes she'd had to search with all her might to find the right word, other times she'd forget what she was doing earlier in the day. And yes, sometimes it would be like she was a baby. This all started a few months before she died and just progressively got worse.

    Sending good thoughts and hope for peace for you...


  12. Peggy...

    Thank you so much for sharing with us.

    The odd coincidences never seem to stop sometimes. We'd (those of us who'd never met her in person) never seen what she looked like and I cried all over again when I saw the second photo on the slide show. That looks SO much like my mom from a few years ago...who had a sister-in-law named Peggy.

    I cried and cried yet again...for the pain I know your family must be feeling and for MY loss of never getting to meet her in person even whe she was so close. I miss her...so I know you must miss her more.

    Thank you again for sharing more of Cindi with us. She was a great gal who will forever be in my heart.


  13. Hi David, and welcome!

    Sorry you've a reason to jind us but I'm really glad you did.

    Both my father and my mother passed away in their mid-50's from lung cancer and you'll find there are a few members that seem to have a strong familial line...and, as you can see with Donna, we have some long-timers hanging around here, too! LOL

    This is a wonderful place of information, support, and most importantly, of HOPE.

    Sending lots of good thoughts your way~~


  14. Oh I just cringed when I read that it took them so many tries to get the IV in..how terrible it makes an already yucky situation.

    I'm glad that he's able to get a good day in before the pain kicks in! I had to smile at "Mr Tough Guy"...our loved ones are amazing, aren't they??

    Here's hoping right along with you that the MRI looks good and radiation is a go!!!

    Lots of thoughts and prayers comin' your way~~


  15. Well pooh, Ernie...I hate that you're having to go through something more but sending lots and lots of prayers that it's as simple and easy as possible!!

    They'll have that lung puffed up in no time!

    Lots of good thoughts and prayers comin from up North!


  16. I'm going to do a little searching around to see if the answer's out there...but what's with some of the pictures working and some of them not??

    I see an awful lot of red x's where pictures should be (including mine LOL)...does the new software not play nice with some of the hosting sites maybe??


  17. Mom and my stepdad's wedding anniversary is quickly approaching. It's also the anniversary of her diagnosis and only 10 days away from the anniversary of her death (she apparently liked the month of May! :roll: )

    Do I call my stepdad on their anniversary and wish him a wonderful day? Do I take him to lunch so we can reminisce? What do I do in this situation? I don't want to just not acknowledge that it's their anniversary, but I don't want to hurt him, either.

    Thanks...I know there are many who've been in similar situations before.

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