I have viral cardiomyopathy, a severe heart condition. Went in hospital for a scan. Heart has gotten worse but they found a mass in my lung. Lung cancer. For two months they checked everything in my body. I have cysts on my liver and pancreas which I have to have checked out every 6 months. So after 2 months of stressing the finally removed the cancerous part of my lung! The immediate relief was amazing but then I started working it would come back. My doc said I most likely have PTSD now from the shock of it all. I didn't suffer with it until after the surgery. Now I have pain where the chest tube went in. Sore ribs and nerves could last a year.
Like you there is survivors guilt, most lung patients don't survive and mine was there one minute and gone the next. I have a 15percent chance of it returning in the next 5 years then it decreases. So I'll stress for 5 years because that 15 percent might as well be 99.9 percent. It's hard to explain to people but I see you understand. Besides a bad heart I also have Intercostal Neuropathy and fibromyalgia. So I am in pain a lot. Then I got cancer on top of it all. For those 4 months I was a total wreck, had a breakdown. I don't know how you have done it for so long
God Bless You,
Kathie
I keep reading and re-reading this post. My great-nephew called last night to give me a pep talk about staying strong, fighting and never loosing hope. I reached for my notes and read to him: I just have to hope that while waiting for the cancer business to become clear, I don't get so thirsty/anxious that I empty my glass. That wouldn't help anybody, especially me.
There was a silence at the other end. I am sure that phrase will be engraved in his mind like it was engraved in mine.
Thank you for a great post.
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