bunny

kim and mike I am fairly new to this board but the welcomes I received, when I was lost in that 'mom's cancer is back' terror I was in when I found LCSC, meant the world to me. I have come to the hope I have now slowly. hey, thank god for the softball injury! my mom's LC was first discovered in a pre-op xray for another procedure. I hope mike's treatment goes well, and my thoughts and prayers are with you. xoxo bunny

sorry to respond so long after the fact. I relate to your outward reactions, and I'm just so sorry things are the way they are for you and don. I am new to this board, but I can't tell you how much calmer I've become about my mom's cancer watching you all walk with dignity and grace through whatever comes. consider me one more person you can 'dump' on any time. xoxo amie

I thought I had welcomed you but just realized I haven't. I'm sorry you're living with this now, but I'm glad you're here. I am in the info-gathering phase right now, too but the more I hear the more I feel my mom has a real shot at beating it. there's so much scary stuff out there about LC in general, it's so good to come here where everyone is so supportive and really knows how to temper the good with the bad. your sister is so blessed to have you all. my brother and I are still kind of feeling out how we can focus on mom, and support each other a bit at the same time. we'll work it out, though. love, prayers and good wishes, xoxo bunny

great post. I am so glad I'm not the only one who struggles with the hard parts of being with my mom while she's so afraid - and I know from experience it gets worse when she's in pain. I don't want to take it out on her, who WOULDN'T be cranky. it's so good to know I can come here and vent. your baby is gorgeous. love to all three of you strong females! xoxo bunny

you're hilarious, connie. thank you. xoxo

your post was poetry - and I agree, knowing my powerlessness gives me the power to live my life in god's grace, as opposed to a futile struggle to gain control. thanks for the reminder. I have been struggling for two weeks with my mom's diagnosis and what's ahead for her, and your posted lifted about 400 pounds off my back. be well, and thanks. xoxo bunny

Beth, I'm so glad you got your coverage. It's the last thing you should have to worry about, but the first thing we all do. you sound like my kind of woman, straight shooter AND brave enough to be scared (if that makes any sense). prayers and love to you, xoxo bunny

thank you so much. I know the positive thoughts and prayers from this board are already working for mom and me. as scary as the surgery is, this waiting is worse. I am better in action-mode. my mom seems great, though, taking it all in stride as she does. amazing. thanks again, xoxo bunny

Lisa, you are my direct line to god today. The last few days I'd been feeling like a bull in china shop here, embarassed over what I'd shared so far. I am ashamed, in some ways, that these last two weeks have been so excrutiating for me - I thought I was tougher. On the other hand, I feel guilty sharing how hard it's been to see my mom go through all this, in light of what others on this board are going though. So thanks for assuring me it's a safe, ok place for me to do this. As I get my constition back, I hope to return the favor. xoxo amie

that story moved me, gave me chills in fact. thank you so much. here's to my little smoke signal. xoxo bunny

I loved it, and I'm not even Christian (technically, well it's a long, confusing story). some things are universal - the god know is love, and, as a very wise friend once told me "grace is enough, if you cooperate with it." xoxo bunny

sheesh, you sound like me - everything happening at once. I'm so glad you got good news. thank you so much for bringing it here! xoxo bunny

good luck, and keep slugging. I am thinking of you and praying for you. thanks for being here, and being such an example. xoxo bunny

you - and amy and frank and terri and david and connie and everyone - are 100% right. here's what I've decided. I am not quite to the place where I believe she'll be all right, but I believe that YOU GUYS believe, so I'm borrowing it. I am getting much more comfortable and positive. thanks again, you guys. you are truly god's gift to me these days. xoxo amie

praying here. hope it goes as well as it can!

I loved your post, and congratulations on your two year mark! I hope you'll consider me a new friend. I relate to the mixed experience of this board - but in only a matter of days I have become so dependent on it for support, information and distraction (in a good way) from my mom's illness that I wouldn't give it up for anything (even if I'mnot quite as focussed on work as I should be, yikes). kisses, and many many more good years. xoxo bunny

thanks for everyone's support, comments, etc. I am finally, finally starting to calm down a little. I have been solid in my mom's presence, but flipping out the rest of the time. she's thinking of signing on herself. I'm a little self-conscious for her to see how scared I've been, but I'll get over it. anyway, she has decided not to move her surgery from 6/24 to 6/21 b/c her sister died on 6/21 in 1993. it's also their father's birthday, but I think it just felt too weird. more time for pre-surgery prayers, and now we'll get to keep our beach plans. also, thanks to connie, david p., frank and all others for their one-lung-wonder stories, they helped ALOT and I have passed the info on to mom. prayers and thoughts are with you guys all day long. xoxo bunny

thanks, connie. I am working to adjust my thinking - it's not that I don't believe she won't get better, I do! it's just that, some days, my fear has a louder voice. SO last night, with a friend, I let it rip until it (my fear) developed laryngitis. so now, it's a little hoarse and the truth, the hope, the faith is getting louder. love to you, xoxo bunny

thank you amy, connie, frank and pammie. I really appreciate the replies, my personality is such that I am comforted by knowing what's coming, even if it's scary. my brother is happier no knowing, which is his way of dealing. I JUST got an email from mom that they have offered her an EARLIER surgery date, of 6/21 instead of 6/24. of course, we left it up to her 100% but part of me loves the idea of shortening this waiting period. on the other hand, I had a few things I wanted to do for her (take her to the beach, mani/pedi, just some happy, peaceful, pain free time together) which we may not get to do if we go for the earlier date. at any rate, I know she's in god's hands. I am calmer now, was in a real tizzy this morning. it seems like I wake up scared and slowly ease into it. by afternoon I am OK again, but then I wake up at 4:30 the next morning scared out of my wits. I don't think mom is half as scared as I am. anyway, thanks again. xoxo bunny

I'm short on information, but positive thoughts (and prayers) I can do. xoxo bunny

can anyone share with me their experience, or loved one's experience, after having a lung removed? mom is 58 y.o., possibly developing asthma, not 'in shape' but otherwise healthy. I want to know what to expect in terms of how hard it will be for her with one lung. just one of the 800 things I am scared about right now. having a very hard time being positive today.

praying, here. xoxo bunny

I am new to this forum and I get so much out of hearing from people like you - you give me the ability to believe that my mom is OK, even with cancer, that her spirit is real and healthy. I loved your description of the bird, dean. we don't get too many purple finches here in times' square, where I work and yet, reading your post, I heard him. it made me think about where my mom lives, across the river in jersey. some years ago, some parrots (bright colors, the whole nine) on their way to a pet store escaped in her town. cold and lost, I'm sure, they nevertheless figured it out, acclimated, and now there is a whole colony of tropical parrots making their home along the Hudson River like they've always been there. makes me think of how you, my mom and others are able to adapt to and thrive in impossible, implausible conditions, too. so thanks. xoxo bunny

I find the 'be strong for mom' thing so draining, I have given myself persmission to do little things like get my nails done every weekend instead of every other, take off work to go to a yankees game, etc. it sounds so trivial compared to what my mom is facing but if I don't recharge I am of no use to her. whatever it takes, take care of yourself AND your mom. I am just learning about treatment options, etc., myself and I agree - knowledge is power and I feel calmer when I feel like I know what the heck everyone is talking about! love and prayers, xoxo bunny

I want to name everyone by name, talk to each of you heart to heart. I'm so busy and stressed getting ready for mom's surgery - I am working like a dog so I won't have to think twice about taking as much time as she needs me to, from 6/24 on. We are playing hooky on Monday to go to the beach. You are all in my thoughts all day long, I'm so surprised by that but it's the truth. love and prayers to all of you. xoxo bunny