jhllal

I don't know the laws of your state, but in Wisconsin you would have to be appointed the guardian of the person of your father. You would then have the right to make decisions for his well being. The power of attorney that you currently have likely only gives you the right to handle financial affairs. It may be valid now, or make become effective upon your father's incapacity.

Rochelle - please pm me, if you wish (I can't figure out how to do that). I use to be a probate and estate planning attorney. I am wondering if, in addition to the insurance, your mother had bank accounts, securities, a car, a house or other assets titled in her name. If so, you may need to start a probate. You should ask a few questions before you decide to trust your mother's friend.

Rochelle - In general, if there are no assets to probate there will be no estate and, therefore, no executor. It sounds as though the life insurance is a nonprobate asset. That is, it passes according to the beneficiary designated by your mother. I find it curious that if you and your siblings are the beneficiaries of the policy that the check you received was on your mother's friend's bank account and did not come directly from the insurance company. I suggest that you try to obtain information about the insurance company and then contact the insurance company before you spend any $$ on an attorney. The insurance company should be able to give you specific information about the policy and the benefits.

Generally, if the insurance is payable to your mother's estate, it can (and will) be used to pay her debts. If the insurance is payable directly to you, it should not be subject to the claims of her creditors.

Don - I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Lynn

Oh, Jen - my heart goes out to you and your family. Lynn

Karen - I can relate to much of what you are experiencing. I (as a single parent) adopted my son from Russia when he was 14 mos. old. I remember very vividly returning to work fulltime one month after returning from Russia. I put my son in a daycare and he cried for several weeks when I left him in the morning. I cannot imagine how affected he would have been if I had disappeared from his life altogether. You are so right - losing a parent is very different than not having one to begin with. Regarding daycare - you do need to follow your instincts. When my son entered 1st grade, his teacher, overwhelmed by a class of 30 some kids, could not and would not give my son the attention and help that he needed (which puzzled me as this was a private school). We ended up switching schools a few months into the school year. It was a bit of a transition, but one of the best decisions I have made. We found a place where the teachers were more nuturing and concerned about the kids. He is flourishing. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason (although I truly cannot figure out the reason behind cancer and other serious illnesses). My son and I are together because that was meant to be. He is in a great place now with school. I am glad that I made the changes I needed to make. You have a plan, and it sounds like a good plan. Follow your instincts and you will end up where you are suppose to be. Lynn

Linda - we had a similar experience with my dad several weeks ago with the nonsensical speech. It turned out to be mini-strokes. I was told that the damage to the brain from the strokes may not show up on the scans for a couple of days, which turned out to be the case for my dad. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Lynn

Has anyone heard of or used the ImmPower supplements? Lynn

How do I get more info on this drug and the upcoming Phase III trial? I tried to go through the Mary Crowley Medical Research Center with little success.

My father has been going downhill rapidly these last 2 weeks. He is now coughing, whereas before he seldom coughed. He is coughing up blood and tires very easily. He met with his oncologist and he is starting a new chemo tomorrow (carbo?? and gemzar). He had his last chemo treatment in October 2005. My understanding of the procedure is that you kick back the cancer with chemo and then wait for it to grow again, then do chemo. Is it normal to get so sick so fast once the cancer starts growing again?

Don - I am so glad to hear that Lucie is doing well. I am more of a lurker than a poster, but you should know that you inspire me in my father's fight against this awful disease. Thanks for the update. LYnn

My father experienced shortness of breath several weeks ago. After trying to get into the Dr. 2times, only to be put off by the Dr.'s office, he landed in the ER due to garbled speech. Turns out he had a blood clot in the lung and a series of mini strokes. He left the hospital several days later, only to return with a very painful blood clot in his leg. That resolved after 5 days. He had been on 2 shots of lovenox a day. The Dr. reduced the shot to 1x a day yesterday, so he went from 180 ml(?) to 160. Today, he lost vision in a part of one eye and they think it was another stroke. They are waiting for tests results. Has anyone had any experience with a tendency toward strokes? Any advice/thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Lynn

Thanks so much for all the great input. I called yesterday and spoke with the oncologist's nurse. She set up an appointment for next Wednesday. I emphasized that I was particularly worried about the shortness of breath. I would have thought they would have scheduled an earlier appointment. The problem with switching doctors is that I believe that this is the only group in the city. When you mention a CT, is that a CT of the entire body or chest only?

Thanks so much for all the great input. I called yesterday and spoke with the oncologist's nurse. She set up an appointment for next Wednesday. I emphasized that I was particularly worried about the shortness of breath. I would have thought they would have scheduled an earlier appointment. The problem with switching doctors is that I believe that this is the only group in the city. When you mention a CT, is that a CT of the entire body or chest only?