kamataca

Thank you so much for posting this....it truly is helpful. I think the first one is most important to remember. At first, I tried to be "Super-Caregiver"...worked half days, went to the hospital, stayed the night, got up and went back to work. It was hard on everyone...my husband, my kids, my students...and me. As my mom got better, she felt guilty for all the time I spent with her. Mom lives alone, so I worry about her staying by herself after her hospitalizations, but I have to trust her when she tells me she is strong enough to do so. We also utilized the church and school folks for radiation for the same reasonsDon listed. Not only did Mom enjoy visiting, but the drivers were all able to help out, which made them feel better as well. Like Don said, win-win. Kelly

Oh geesh...it sounds like a really tough time there. My mom has only been going through this for the past 6 months, but she has seen her peaks and valleys as well. Just when I think the depression will overcome her, she pulls on the old bootstraps and climbs back out of her funk. I hope things get better for your dad soon. I'll echo everyone else's sentiments about talking to the doctors, and letting them know the extent of his discomfort and sadness. You'll be in my prayers. Kelly

Yikes! What a mess! So glad you are back home. Take good care of yourself. Kelly

Excellent news! Thanks for sharing the good stuff with us. Kelly

You seem to be doing a great job of gathering information. Over the years that has been my job as well. Drs these days are much more comfortable with having family members write everything down, which makes it great when you have to report out to folks who couldn't be at the Dr office. I've also learned to ask for spellings, and read everything back for confirmation at the end of a visit. That cuts down on the, "I though he said..." comments later. I know this is very hard, but you are doing a fantastic job for your family. Keep up the great work, and you and your FIl will be in my prayers. Kelly

I think it is really important for us to be honest with ourselves and our feelings. I love how positive this board is...it keeps me going some days...but I also love that we have the freedom to be sad when we need to do that as well. You and your dad are in my prayers. Kelly

It's so horrible to watch folks we love suffer. I'm glad he was strong enough to make it through this recent batch of treatments. I'll pray for strength for both of you in the days to come. Kelly

I hate the waiting too. I hope you can enjoy some good news together! You're in my prayers. Kelly

Your FIL and your whole family are in my prayers as well. Kelly

My mom went into about a 4-week depression over the numbers. She has rebounded now, and is busy living her life the way she wants to. No one knows what the individual future can bring, but I'd sure rather see her enjoying each day. She is so much happier, she's visiting friends, traveling...sitting on her couch in her robe beofre did her no good. She has a friend who is a LC survivor (over 10 years) who told her to get up every morning, shower, and put make up on (this was during Mom's rad. treatments that were draining her) and greet the day. I really think her positive outlook will help her deal with this with dignity while remembering to have a whole handful of fun. Kelly

Isn't it odd that work can seem a place of refuge? At least it is part of a person's "normal" life. My mom "works" as a full-time volunteer at my kids' school cafeteria, and she can't wait for school to start up again. Working keeps her mind and body on a schedule, and she can interact each day with people she likes. It keeps her busy, and saves her from dwelling on any problems. Good luck to the two of you! Kelly

Thanks for asking the question...I've been meaning to ask it for a few weeks now! Kelly

That's no fun at all. I remember visiting my mom in the hospital on Mother's Day and her b-day when I was younger. Back then we 'kids' had to wait in the waiting room, and they'd bring her down in her wheelchair. Lobster in her room sounds much better! This is really tough, but you guys are already trying to make it nicer for her. Birthday prayers going out for all of you! Kelly

I can send you some Oklahoma MOJO until you find yours. That's what we're all here for. Kelly

Geesh, I don't have any expertise in this, but I feel for you. I hope you are able to catch a break in here somewhere. I'm sure someone will come along soon with some answers to help you out. Kelly

Absolutely! Hoping for the best for you all. Kelly

I'm a BIG believer in the power of venting. Sometimes we just need to let it all out, and this board provides a great place to do so safely. We've all been there, and we're all glad for the folks who pull us out of that place. Hope your feeling better soon! Kelly

Cool! Thanks! Kelly

I love the passion with which so many of you speak. Mostly, I love the humor. I hear what everyone is saying, but I'm keeping the snappy replies close at hand. You guys crack me up! Kelly

Mom had more of an adolescent acne breakout at first, but it cleared up. Now she has 'crocodile skin', but it doesn't cause her any discomfort. Her tumors haven't shrunk any, but they haven't grown either. We call that a victory and take it. Right now, Tarceva is her only option (as in, not chemo, radiation, or surgery for fear of damaging the little 'good lung' she has left), and we are very happy with it. Kelly

I'll pray for strength for all of you. I hope you enjoy a fun trip! What an important time. Kelly

I will keep you in my prayers. You are dealing with a lot right now. I hope you can find some peaceful moments. Kelly

I will pray that God will keep both you and your brother strong during this time. kelly

I honestly don't know. My mom is only on Tarceva, but at her onc. app't this week he said that they may think about chemo in the future. I don't know why they would do this, as her tumors haven't grown significantly, and they have told her they can't cure it. Keep asking the questions. Someone will have the answers for you. Good luck! Kelly

Wow....what a shock for you. I don't have any answers for you, but you are asking some important questions. I hope you acn find what you are looking for medically. There are so many knowledgeable folks around here, you are sure to find some help. Good luck to you! Kelly