sap67

I can't believe it's almost been 2 years since I had my Mother alive with me to talk to, to laugh with, to cry with, to just hang out and watch tv with. As much as she may have been suffering, she still kept a positive approach to things. I wish she had told me she knew and had accepted her fate. I hadn't. So we never discussed it. It came too fast even though she fought SCLC for 6 years. She was my best friend and I miss her like crazy.

Without my Mom, I'm not whole. I always called her daily, a few times a day. Now, I have to stop myself from calling her when something comes up. 9-7-06 will be one year. It's approaching too fast. She passed on my sister's 40th birthday. She was there for it for 3:18 hrs and gave my sister the gift of knowing she was no longer suffering. I cannot fathom how she will ever be able to disconnect the 2 events in her mind. I too am having a hard time remembering her without her "cancer" face or hair. The SCLC also took away the strength of her voice. Someday I will have to pull out videos to hear her and see her healthy again. Still too painful now though. I check out Google Earth to see the site we buried her ashes this past Mother's Day. We brought her back home to NJ. She never should have left.

I lost my Mother to SCLC almost a year ago. I cannot get the memory of her dying out of my head. I made certain that I was with her; my sister and I held her hand as she passed. She meant so much to me. But over the past year, I have come to appreciate her more than I had before. She wasn't only my Mother, she was a woman. I wish I had more time with her to pick her brain. She was always my rock and I tried to be hers. I hear over and over that you have to remember the good times. While I do, I am not able to get past the fact that she lived with this horrible disease for almost 6 years. She was a fighter until the end and then it robbed us of her. I am still very sad, sensitive, and devastated by her loss. I miss her and wish I could just hear her voice.