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flwrjunke

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    Dear Mom

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Dear Mom,

    I miss you! I can’t believe that it’s been 6 years since you passed away.

    You will be happy to hear that Sis and I have become very close. I am grateful for that and know it would make you happy. She has been by my side, and I hers, with all that’s happened these last few years.

    As I was driving into work this morning, I was reflecting on this day from not so long ago. I felt like I was heading down a road to my own little pity party. I thought of how you always handled everything with such dignity and grace that I snapped myself out of it, as I know you would of wanted.

    I have so much to be grateful for. You were the greatest Mom, teacher and friend. You were always there for me and I honestly believe that you had something to do with watching over my boys these last couple of years. I had thought that losing you was the toughest time in my life until last year.

    When M sent me the picture/text in the middle of the night, plane on fire, I learned that bad landings are not good. Of course he joked about doing a superman out of the plane as they jumped through the flames to safety. I could only thank God for watching over him and keeping him safe. This accident ended up being a good thing because this is where he met my soon to be daughter in law. They are a fantastic couple and I know you would love her.

    Last year, when J had his accident, I came so close to losing it. 10 days in ICU and 5 surgeries over 10 months was really the hardest time in my life. It’s a miracle that he’s still with us and I thank God everyday for that. I know your spirit was with him when he flew in the helicopter that saved his life.

    Mom, Thanks again for all you’ve given me and know that I miss you and will always be your little girl.

    Love,

    Patty

    Checking In !

    in LC SURVIVORS

    Posted

    Hi Joanie,

    I'm glad to see you checking in. I think of you often and really was hoping that you had healed up.

    Good luck with your surgery in January and I'm sending prayers that it goes well.

    Patty

    Hope.....

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Barb,

    I'm so very sorry to read of whats going on with Rod.

    When my Mom went on Hospice, it felt like we were defeated. But, we still held out hope that if she started feeling better, we would have the option to go off of hospice and seek treatment. At that time the doctor did tell us that many people under utilize hospice, they wait to long to sign up. Bring in hospice, made all the difference for her and our family.

    Again, I'm so sorry, and prayers for the days ahead.

    Patty

    16 Weeks Today

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Teri,

    Your words, “frantic energy” sure describes the way I felt while my Mom was sick. The “rollercoaster ride” that we’ve all been on just doesn’t stop when our loved ones are gone. “Frantic catch up” was what I was doing after she passed. Looking back on it now, it felt like I had gotten off of 1 rollercoaster only to jump on a bigger rollercoaster and this time I was riding it alone, without her.

    I was so busy, I had to stay strong, I had to hold it together. Then, after a few months, it dawned on me that I felt like I hadn’t grieved for her. But how can you grieve for somebody that you don’t totally believe is gone? Then I felt robbed and cheated of my chance.

    Teri, it’s very normal to push back the sadness and the pain. Sometimes that’s the only way to make it through the day. I really wanted to feel it, wrap myself in it but sometime it was just too much. Time does help. It's just a little over 2 years since I lost Mom and I’m still grieving, it’s still painful but I continue to hold her close in my heart.

    Wishing you peace,

    Patty

    delayed grief

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Oh Lori,

    I’m so sorry your feeling this way. With just passing the 2 year anniversary, I can tell you I felt the same way. I’ve come to the conclusion that there isn’t a set timeline for our grief, you can bounce back and forth through the different stages.

    For me, the 1st year I was still in denial a little. I knew she was gone but part of me felt like she was just away on another trip and she’d be back. I was so busy dealing with her estate and trying to get caught up on all of the things I had neglected while she was sick.

    So when the 1st year anniversary came, the reality really set in. I felt like I had been run over by a train. I had a hard time believing that an entire year had passed that she wasn’t present for. SO much had changed and I got angry again.

    Then at some point during the 2nd year, things started to settle in, another new normal. I started to notice that when I thought of her, I was now smiling not crying. I was able to fine strength in her memory and was reminded of how lucky I was to be her daughter and grateful for the time I did have with her.

    I do feel our Moms will always be with us, guiding us. You know the times when you are talking with the kids and all of a sudden words come flying out of your mouth and you think, “Wow, that was so Mom!” There here.

    Hang in there.

    Patty

    It’s been 2 years, taking comfort in the rain

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    The last 2 years, have been the hardest 2 years of my life! It was two years ago today that I lost my Mom.

    During the last week of Moms life, she mentioned that she wanted to see 1 last summer rain storm before she passed. On the evening before that happened, I drove home knowing that our time was limited. Images of my life played through my head like a movie. I couldn’t imagine my life without Mom. She gave me life! She taught me so much, made me who I am today and I still needed her!!!! Then it started to rain. As if “Releasing the flood gates” the tears flowed down my face and a warm sense of peace passed through me. I was thankful that Mom was getting her last wish.

    So 2 years later, I wake up to rain. While driving to work I was thinking “Mom, this ones from you!”

    The pain of missing her is still with me, but has eased some with time. I’ve learned to appreciate and enjoy life even more. My Sister and I have grown much closer, and I know Mom would be smiling. Having both parents gone, leaves a hole that’s hard to fill. I’m thankful for my 4 Grandchildren, 2 of whom were born since Mom passed. She always said that she would live on through us so I take comfort knowing she’s still surrounding me. She was an amazing women that touched so many lives. She is my hero and I will always miss her!

    Patty

    News about Bill

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Teri,

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how much he meant to you. It was nice to read that the 3 weeks with the family was the best 3 weeks ever. Let that be some comfort to you.

    Prayers for peace and comfort during this time to you and your family.

    Patty

    unbelievable!

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Cindy,

    I'm so sorry for where you are right now. When my Mom was at that stage, Hospice started 24 hour a day care. (standard procedure)I noticed where you live and my Mom was just a few miles from you in Buena Park. Our hospice provider was Vista something. I can look it up when I get home if you would like more info but your hospice provider can and should be doing more for you!!!!!

    Prayers for you and your husband.

    Patty

    No more chemo for Harry

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Nova, I'm so sorry. Both of you have been in my prayers and will continue to be.

    I know how hard it is when you feel like the doctors are giving up, but there not. They are just doing what is best for him at this time.

    Stay stong, re-group and get ready to fight somemore!

    Hang in there.

    Patty

    Mom Has lung cancer. I'm a mess

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Hi, I'm sorry that your going through this. You've come to a great place for information and support.

    My Mom was very active like your Mom and when we found out that her Chemo would cause her to lose her hair the Doctors office was able to give us a name of a local wig shop. By going in prior to losing her hair, they were able to see her hair style and color and they made a great wig. My sister ended up liking the wig better than Moms her real hair! LOL.

    Good luck,

    Patty

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