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Posts posted by hollyanne

  1. Carrie -

    I have not posted on this site for some time, but I have read about your mom -- the story is similar to my mom's. Hospice will provide the pain relief she so desperately needs...and it will give you time to say everything you want to say. Someday you will look back and realize what a blessing it is to have time to say goodbye.

    If you have questions about end of life at home, I would like to help you as someone on this site did for me. I was with my mom every single day of her diagnosis until the end when I was lying in bed with her. Please contact me, if you think I can take any of the fear or unknown out of it.

    I am so sorry, my heart is breaking for you. I know that the fear is overwhelming. Yet, you will have the strength you need for today and the strength you need for tomorrow...you will.

    Please know that someone in San Francisco is thinking of you.

    [email protected]

  2. Stephanie -

    I have not posted for quite sometime. Yet, I saw your posting and my heart broke. Your feelings, your horrible grief, your panic - is all too familiar. When I was where you are now, I thought I would never make it - it hurt to breath. Yet, I have made it - it has been two years for me. I miss my mom every day, but I have made it. Oh Stephanie, you will too. Your mom is so proud of you and she will look over you.

    You will be in my prayers tonight as you go through what will be the hardest time of your life. May God ease your pain and offer you moments of peace.


  3. Don -

    I so agree with you -- it is a choice. My mom and Lucie made it "easier" for us with their tremendous faith. I don't worry about my mom, I just miss her. I know that she would be furious with me if she thought my life was standing still.

    I watch my dad, they were married 47 years -- he has stayed very busy, has discovered a faith he never had (a great gift) and gets through every day. He mad the choice to go on as he says, "I promised your mom, we would make it..and go on."

    I don't think anyone of us will ever stop missing our loved ones, but I do know that life has so many beautiful things to offer and that the promise of being with them is what keeps me going.

    I am so happy to hear that you are hanging in there.



  4. Shelley -

    I am so glad you have found hope..and your mom's faith in God will help all of you deal with every step of the journey. I always tell people that my mom made this easy on us as she left it up to God (and some good doctors.) This journey is a series of ups and downs, with what you will find to be some fantastic times in between. :)

    There are a lot of "LC daughters" on this board, use us!

    Thinking of you,


  5. Beth -

    I feel for you so very much. Having been in a very similar situation as you...I say "GO." You will never regret it. If work can wait a bit, let it wait. There are stories of lengthy survivals, but I can also tell you that my mom never smoked, had run a marathon months earlier, etc -- and that her adnecarcinoma spread so quickly we will all shocked -- we did all the "right" things - radiation for pain, chemo to help control it, etc. I am so grateful that I was with her....You never know. I pray that you have many trips to visit her.

    Most importantly, get her or your stepdad to level with you -- or let you talk to the doctors.

    Thinking of you tonight.


  6. There is always a possibility, yet be thankful that she doesn't have any symptoms. Mets in the bones are often very, very painful...you can look for all kinds of signs to help you get through til the results of the day....but all the worry in the world is not going to change whatever the results are!

    This journey is such a rollercoaster of tests and scans. Somehow you have to put trust in God or whatever you believe in that you will deal with WHATEVER the results may be...and that you will have a plan whether it is to celebrate or to fight even harder.

    Praying that you all have peace over the next few weeks!


  7. Pat -

    I must have "missed" all the hub bub -- but YOU should be here. I think I should be here. When I went through everything with my mom, I got great strength and support from people whether they had the dreaded beast, they were a current caregiver or they loss someone to the disease.

    you have so much to offer.


  8. You will never regret doing everything you are doing right now. It is such an honor to be with your mom as she prepares to go on an amazing journey. Know that God will take her when he is ready...and that there will be such peace. You are doing God's work right now which is simply beautiful.

    So much love for you over the next few days,


  9. Traci -

    Welcome...I am sorry that you are here. Let us know the result of the scans...and know that you can "talk" to any of us. Unfortunately, there are many, many caregivers on this site who understand the journey all too well...but many of us want to return the support we received! I am here for you.


  10. I am so sorry. May God's hands lift you up and guide you on the journey the next few months. When you are most down, just remember she is up there keeping an eye on you....and know that you did the most unselfish thing...you let her go.

    Peace to you,


  11. Alli -

    Welcome to this wonderful support group. We are here for you...to support you... to answer questions, whatever you need.

    How do you support your mom? Just love her. Once treatment starts you will find tangible things she needs help with...basically just be there with ears open and arms ready to love her.

    Many of us daughters know exactly what you are going through...and we are here.


  12. Susan -

    If the primary tumor is not causing any problems or symptoms, they will usually stop chemo in Stage IV patients if it is not working on the mets (this was my mom's case.) Be very happy that they know this now. In my mom's case, we looked at the CT scan and kept going as the primary was shrinking, yet the cancer was running rampant in the bones.

    Once the cancer reaches distant sites, the goal is to slow it and knock it back....a new chemo will hopefully do that.

    Just take a deep breath, you will feel so much better once there is a new plan....there are A LOT of chemo protocols out there!


  13. I am so sorry and completely understand why you feel peace...you know that your mom us pain and worry free. We will be here for you after all the "stuff" calms down. Just breathe and get through the next few days.

    peace to you,


  14. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. I am so sorry to chime in late, but what you are feeling...so many of us have or are feeling. It has been a year for me and I still reach for the phone all the time....I have good days and some days that are unbearable. It will get easier for you, I promise. I can't say it gets better, it just gets different.

    I really didn't start facing the reality of being momless until my mom was gone about five-six months and then it hit me camck in the face. I think I had so much adrenaline going before that...and I am sure you do as well.

    Thank God for your beautiful baby and know that it will get "different."



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