dads girl

Thanks for the replies. My dad passed away on 6/21. It hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be. Now we just laugh because only he would have a dress rehearsal death.

Thanks for the reply. People are wondering why I am at work but this might go on for days. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Has anyone had hospice give them really wrong info? I know it is hard to predict exactly when someone is going to die, but yesterday afternoon we all got called that my dad had only a few hours left. When my aunts got to the house the nurse told them he was gone already. My aunt went in and touched his hand and then he opened his eyes. How can you say someone is dead when they aren't. He was then pretty responsive all night. It is now 24 hours later and he is awake and ate and drank something. It is hard to know what to think now. My husband is mad because he doesn't know how you get people worked up over only having hours and it has been a day so far.

I know it is hard on them to see him like that. Noone wants to. He looks horrible but he is dying I don't know what they expect. He has lost a ton of weight, and he doesn't want to shave anymore. He isn't a cooperative patient even for my mom. My sister also lives with my parents and it is easier to blame my mother than cancer. Thanks for letting me vent.

Thanks for the support.

They are acting like if he goes to the hospital he is miraculously going to get better or something. I just don't get it. They don't think my mom is doing a good enough job at taking care of him. There is nothing to do at this point.

So the time has finally come and hospice has been coming to my dad's house for the past month or so. He adamantly does not want to go to an inpatient place. He fell last Friday and had to have stitches and has been a little off since then. He has had this reaction before to being in a hospital. Anyway yesterday two of his siblings came over and yelled at my mom and my brother that he should be sent away. At this point he sits in the living room and watches tv and an aide comes for 4 hours. My mom is looking into an aide for the rest of the day. Is there really any benefit to sending him away especially when he gets so agitated in hospitals. I feel that if he goes into the facility they will sedate him. I am just mad that they feel they know what is best. This is a horrible situation to be in- noone really knows what is best but we are all trying. They made my brother cry. I just keep on telling my sister that no matter what we do he is dying putting him someplace else isn't going to change that. I just wanted to get that off to my chest, I am sure some people on this board have been through the same thing.

I know- that is what drives me crazy because this disease makes me constantly think about when my father is going to die but anyone else could totally die unexpectedly. I did plan a vacation for September- I will just keep hoping that all is well so that we can go. Thanks for the support-it is just one of those days.

I don't post much- mostly just read. My dad's chemo break is over because there is some new "activity." The rest of my family tries to remain ignorant- because it is easier to ignore what is going on. I on the other hand read what I can on the internet- which is bad and good. This website gives a lot of hope but it scares me to see how quickly this disease can progress. The uncertainity drives me crazy. I feel like I can't commit to a vacation or anything because "What If" something happens while I am gone. I really just needed to get that off my chest, because its been bottled up in there the last couple of weeks.

Don't give up hope yet. Last year my dad was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma- the original oncologist gave him a year. He was not eligible for surgery or radiation. We are just passed the one year mark and he is currently stable---taking a break from chemo and still up and about.

I don't post much- but I wanted to let you know I am praying for you and Keith.

Personally I think as long as the person wants to be treated they should let them. Is it really crucial to be "emotionally ready" to die. If you are not sick you are not emotionally or physically ready- death just happens.

My dad also has squaomous cell - and it is not curable. He could not have radiation but has been having carbo/taxol every three weeks for about 6 months now. Dr said goal is to contain it and shrink it.

My dad is 73 and has no side effects from chemo.

The first is next wednesday- so it is only a week away. My dad was diagnosed around the 4th of july and his first chemo was mid august.