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Irisheyes

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  1. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone on this board..in the past 6 months I had a place to turn when I felt like those around me didn't understand. I thank you for your kind words of support and your many prayers..they were felt. My Pops, Jack O'Kelly passed away this morning. I miss him so. I spent last week with him before I flew home Saturday. He went down hill rapidly during that time and I am thankful I got to be with him during the time when we could still have a brief conversation and he knew I was there. My son and I prayed last night that God would take him, we knew that proud Irishman would not want to hang around too long in that condition. Thanks again and please keep my family in your prayers.
  2. I understand how difficult it is to be so far away. Prayers are with you today.
  3. Katie, Thanks so much, I guess I felt like I should be doing something more. A few months ago I purchased a bracelet from childrenshospice.org with a quote from 11 year old Dustin who didn't win his battle with this beast...it says "today is a gift...have fun" It's funny but this bracelet has helped me so much because I just look at it and everything is put into perspective. Dad and I watch Bass fishing and thanks to the Outdoor Network I might have a 2nd career int he BassMaster tournament! Thanks again for sharing your experiences with me, it was very helpful. Shannon
  4. Thank you all for your wonderful words of inspiration and wisdom. I feel like my dad is still stuck in the denial phase. Don't know if it's him or combo of meds and illness but I am afraid he has not accepted what is happening. Not that I want him to accept it and give up but accept it and make sure we take advantage of our time, however long. I think it is even more difficult because he is not very spiritual and between that and his denial I'm not sure how to make sure I say and do the things I need to if these are his last few months...make sense?
  5. I don't remember what the chemo drug is that the doctor discussed with us. He also offered a pill, sorry, don't know the name, my step mom keeps all the notes since I live out of town. Doctor was not real keen on the pill since it had some bad side effects. Dad sleeps most of the day except for a good day thrown in here or there. Doc does not want him left alone anymore and he is having trouble with the fact that he is not allowed to drive. We are just so afraid he is going to burn the house down because he still smokes, depite that he cannot eat or drink most of the time. Thank you for the prayers and your kind thoughts, I still am not holding on tight enough during this roller coaster ride. Shannon
  6. Back after a long stretch away for some much needed advice. My Dad is not doing well and the cancer has spread to his bones and spine and his adrenal glands are enlarged. He saw no improvement after his last chemo and mentally is just not himself. Doctor offered options of different chemo. drug, or calling in hospice. Dad decided to continue with chemo, doc said about 20% chance and a matter of months with no treatment. My problem is my guilt because I feel like I have given up hope, the doctor has told my dad "I cannot cure you" and I unfortunately understand now how devastating this beast is. For those of you that have been in this situation, how do you handle your feelings. My dads quality of life is horrible and I hate to see him suffer. I pray for a miracle but have to be realistic otherwise I will not be able to cope with whatever lies ahead. Sorry to be so long, Shannon
  7. Thanks Cindi, Yes, I am hoping this break will get him back on track. Dad had dug his heels in and refused to budge as far as eating and trying different things. I just worry that some of the benefits of the radiation will be lost because of the long break in the middle. We were seeing such great results before he stopped. I need to stop thinking "what if" but it's so hard not to.
  8. Hello everyone, I have been absent for a bit due to a deadline at work and some much needed quiet time with my son & husband after lots of traveling the past few months to visit Dad. Also, my husband is a baseball coach so I had to take advantage of these weeks, he tends to disappear for a few months about this time every year! My dad has taken a month off to let his esophogus heal and when I talked to him last night my step mom told me that his radiologist said she had never had anyone take a break from radiation ever and that once he finishes his scheduled treatment he will not return for radiation. Step mom felt like Doc was giving up on him since maybe they feel he has given up himself. (Dad has ignored many of us and baically taken the meds that he feels like taking and drinks what he wants to/or doesn't want to regardless of the outcome) Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I thought people took breaks from radiation, but maybe I am thinking Chemo. Thanks, Shannon
  9. You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the wonderful advice, prayers and offers of assistance for the future. We will find out Friday what is going to happen and I am sure I will have many more questions. Shannon
  10. My dad saw his oncologist today and he wants him to get in to see a gastrointologist asap. They called off radiation for a 2nd week due to his esophagus pain and weight loss. He is scheduled to see the gastrointologist Friday morning and will probably have a feeding tube put in. Based on everyones experiences, will he be hospitalized during the time he has a feeding tube or is this something you can go home with? So hard not being there for the doc visit and would like to clear my schedule in case he is hospitalized and I need to get on a plane. Thanks, again...Shannon
  11. Thanks everyone for the wonderful advice. Dad does have marinol but he says the problem is not his appetite that it is his not being able to eat so he refuses to take it. As I said before he also refuses the mouthwash. Actually said, I'd rather go into the hospital than take it. And he HATES the hospital. I don't know if he has actually convinced himself that he is eating as much as he tells people. His wife started writing down his calorie intake and he still refuses to do anything but what he has been doing. We've had way too many arguments and really just have to leave it up to him, like many of you have said, we can't force feed him. Either he makes the decision or the doctors will put him in the hospital soon. I think now he is down to 133 (that's a lose of 70lbs) and he has been off radiation for over a week. Thanks again everyone, this is so frustrating and difficult to accept and I appreciate the support. Shannon
  12. Irisheyes

    WOW!

    Sorry I missed your first post but welcome. This site is fantastic and just a wealth of information and support. Grew up a Blues fan but trying to become a Thrashers fan. Shannon
  13. Welcome Tammy. Your dad is fortunate to have you on his side. Just take it day by day or for me sometimes it's even minute by minute. I hope you find as much support at this site as I have the past few months. Folks here are incredible listeners.
  14. My dads docs also suggested having some yogurt every day to prevent yeast. Dad eats tons of popsicles, he refuse to do the mouthwash, then again he refuse lots of things! Anyway he also finds that hard candy helps and like others have said sipping water thru the day. Hang in there and hope you are able to find some relief. Shannon
  15. Lynda, Once my dad started radiation and chemo his team really stressed how important it was that he let them know about everything, fever, constipation, you name it. After hearing it a few times he actually started to go along with it. My dad always took the "lets give it a few days" approach before, being a stubborn irishman is a hard habit to break. We were given the statistics speech in the first few weeks which I quickly learned from everyone here to ignore. Best piece of advice I ever received! I'm glad your dad seems to be feeling better and you guys will be in my prayers as he starts his treatment next week. Shannon
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