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Pattie

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Everything posted by Pattie

  1. I like sunny side up, but I don't think I'm as optimistic as I used to be. But, I am still pretty easy going.
  2. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know that the waiting can be so difficult, but, they really do need to know what the total package is. Sometimes, a second opinion is worth while. I pray for you and your family.
  3. You are in my thoughts and prayers. May it be something so simple as a mucus sack. Please keep us informed and if you need to vent, don't be afraid to reach me at Tricagiggles314@aol.com May you have great results. I'm praying for you. Pattie
  4. Time frame? They gave my Mom (Stage 4B) only 6 months. Three years later she's still here. Has some problems, but hasn't given up. Please don't accept the time frames as verbateum. No one knows except the higher being above us. Get all the info you can (and second opinions can be great) and take it from there. So glad you found this sight. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't be afraid to reach out. My e-mail is Tricagiggles314@aol.com Pattie
  5. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. He went quickly and didn't suffer too much. Sometimes, it's better that way. You have the love and support of your families and you will keep his memories alive in your hearts and your thoughts. Keep in touch. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  6. Dear Dave: I so know how you feel. Mom is trying anything and everything an is trying not to give up the fight. Between the cancer and the Alzheimer's life is a challenge. We let Mom make the decisions about her health because that is the only thing that she can still make decisions about. Just about everything else is in someone else's hands. I know the anger you might feel from time to time. She doesn't deserve this cruel disease. But, in my family, we support whatever Mom's decision might be. We may not like it, but it is her decision. You and your Mom are both in my prayers. You will find the strength to do what you have to when the time comes. Glad you found this site. It has helped me tremendously when it comes to blowing off steam and venting. The people here are great. If you need to talk quietly, don't be afraid to e-mail me privately. Tricagiggles314@aol.com. Bless you both. Pattie
  7. Hi everyone! Mom had her tibralplasty today. Good news and bad news. (No surprise) One of the fractures has been there for a while and compressed itself, which became hard bone. The other fracture was still soft bone. The tibralplasty only has good results on soft bone. So, by the time she got home she was still in pain. She doesn't know the whole story. She can't process it with the Alzheimers's. We won't get results (????? why so long) on the tumor for a week. The doctor doesn't seem to think it will be malignant, but I have my doubts. Again, we are with the waiting game. I don't know how much longer she can take the pain. Between the osty and the steriods it makes the bones weak. So prone to this happenening again. I got her home and settled and in for a long night. I just keep my fingers crossed and pray for the best. The pain pills help, but, I don't like the idea of her being on them. Not sure which is worse, the pain or the pain killers. Lots of doubts right now about everything. I'm supposed to go back to work, but not sure I can function very well knowing what's going on with Mom. Let you know what I hear when I get the biopsy report. Thanks for listening. Pattie
  8. Thank you all for your support. Fay, thanks. I never really gave it a thought to go to an Alzheimer's support also. By the way, I'm over my huge pity party of last night. Had to get back on track because of Mom's tibralplasty tomorrow. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Give me a shout if any of you need anything. Pattie
  9. Oh how well I know that feeling. I'm having my own as you write and I read. Can I blow off some steam and really tell my story? You don't have to read any further, but, I'm going to write anyway. I write in my diary, but it doesn't respond to me. Four years ago, Mom had varicose vein surgery and ended up with an internal infection. After she got out of the hospital my boyfriend and I moved in to care for her. March 6th of 2003, the doctor's wanted an unltrasound on her leg for fear of blood clots. Well, snow storm and all I drove her to the hospital near our house, got the results and drove her to another hospital. They did the usual X-ray of the chest to make sure none of the clots broke loose. Low and behold, we found Stage 4B cancer of the lung. Two weeks later she comes home from the hospital and goes for all of the radiation and chemo. Three years of chemo at a low dosage because of her age. Cellulitis sets in on her leg. Two more weeks in the hospital. Her mind isn't were it needs to be so we call in a geriatric doctor. Yeah, now we're talking Alzheimer's also. She needed 24 hour care, so we put her in a nursing home for three months until we felt she could come home. Well, about that time, my (ex)boyfriend decided that he had had enough and couldn't go on anymore in our life together. Ended up going back to his ex-wife. Says a lot right there. Anyway, Mom was getting really tired of the treatments and decided to go for quality over quantity. She hadn't had any spreading of the cancer for eight months. She started to complain about pain in her back. It was getting worse, so the X-rays, MRI and PET Scan were set up. The is a tumor that has caused a fracture in her back. She can't have radiation for it because it is in the same spot where it was shot for the lung and could cause paralysis. They are going to do a tibralplasty on Monday. Kind of like a cast on the inside of the bone. Goes in like toothepaste and sets withing 8-10 minutes. That will help with the pain, but doesn't help the tumor. They will do a biopsy on the way in to confirm one way or the other what it is. I'm here for her 24/7. On Oct. 26, I had my own surgery to replace three discs in my neck. I have been on medical leave since then. I will return to work in another week. I'm doing things for Mom that I really shouldn't because of my own healing, but it has to be done because she can't. I have even gotten to the point where I have to give her a shower. When I go back to work, I don't know what I'll do. I know I have to put home life aside, but, can't help feeling that I'll be a basket case worrying about Mom. I feel lost, left out, and abandoned. But, I try to put on a smile and go upstairs and keep on taking care of Mom. There are days that I don't know which is worse, the cancer or the Alzheimer's. She's frustrated and angry and I know why, but I take the brunt because I live with her now. Believe it or not, I feel better. I got lots off my chest that I can't tell anyone that is near me. They wouldn't understand. Thanks for listening! Now my party is over! Pattie
  10. Dear Carol: I was reading your reply and then read your profile. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hope all goes well for you this month! Pattie
  11. You know, I thought long and hard about that question. I always adored Dad. He died of a massive heart attack almost 12 years ago. When I found him and after I called 911, I went to him and put his head in my lap and covered him with a blanket. I couldn't leave him lying there by himself. Now Mom has her cancer and Alheimer's. Watching her has been devastating. The point is, both of my parents gave the great gift of patience and common sense. There have been other people that I am thankful for in being a part of my life, but, I have to thank my parents the most for loving me the way they did and knowing when to say NO even if I didn't like it. May God Bless both of my parents! Thank you for letting me share. Pattie
  12. Pattie

    Connie??

    Many prayers are goig out tonight. May God hold her spirit alive!
  13. Thanks for sharing a personal and private moment in time. I wish I could find those "normal" moments in time. But, Mom's Alzheimer's has almost taken her beyond that point. She hardly remembers today, never mind anything else. I hope you have more of those precious moments in you time. Don't worry about the step-father thing. You only have to worry about you and your Mom and do what is best for both of you. Let him be selfish, but, you have the love to give to your Mom and that's what means the most to her right now. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Pattie
  14. We're all allowed them from time to time. We just need to know when it's time to stop and pull ourselves up by the boot straps and start all over again. Take the time you need and it will give you the strength to make it through tomorrow. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Pattie
  15. Hi! and Welcome! I am new here myself and instantly found support! I just want to let you know I'll help in any way I can. It's helpful to know there are others out there that feel as we do and understand everything. And to know they are so full of support. In helping your Mom make sure you take time for yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but it is important. I know, because I take little time for myself. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Pattie
  16. Dear Martha: I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom. I know you are beginning a new chapter in life. Just take small steps. Remember all the joys that your Mom gave you over the years. It all takes time, but the pain will ease. I felt the same way you do when I lost my Dad and now I'm facing it again with losing my Mom. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Pattie
  17. I just want to thank all of you for your responses. It made my day to start it off with so much support. Usually, it's a quiet cup of coffee and off to the races. I will let you know how we make out Monday with the procedure and what the results of the biopsy are. Thank you again. If anyone ever needs me, just shoot me an e-mail at Tricagiggles314@aol.com. Sending lots of love and prayers to everyone. Pattie
  18. Hi Everyone! My name is Pattie and I have been a caregiver to my Mom for the last four years. It started out with a serious leg infection, blood clots, (that's how we found the lung cancer) and Alzheimer's. Now on this coming Monday she is going in for something called a tibralplasty. She has a fracture in her back caused from a tumor and she can't have radiation for it because it could cause paralysis. As much as I don't like the cancer, I don't know which is worse. The cancer or the Alzheimer's. Both are very difficult to deal with. I try so hard not to lose my patience because I know the way she reacts is because of the diseases. But, there are days that I just want to curl up and nail the covers over my head so I don't have to face another day. I know that I sound selfish sometimes because I have put my life on hold and feel lonely and left out, but at the same time, I can't do anything else. Mom needs me and I will be here. She raised me for 46 years and now it's my time to take care of her. I find it hard to relax and the nightmares are unending. I just want to see her comfortable and happy. She doesn't deserve what she is going through. She is a kind and generous persoan and has been all of her life. Her heart is always in the right place. But, it's breaking mine to see her in the health that she is right now. There are days I just don't think I can make it through, but somehow I always do. Thank you for letting me speak and get some of this off my chest. Most people I know don't understand what I feel or what I'm going through. My prayers are with all of you and hoping for the best for each and everyone. May God Bless all of you and your families. [/i]
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