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NavyDave

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  1. Thank you all so much for you responses... I was able to cry again for the first time since last sunday and it felt good to be able to do so (so sad that I am "crying" challenged ^.^ )... you guys are all amazing. Thanks for all your kind words and overwhelming support =)
  2. Hey guys, I havent posted in a while... things have been rough of late. I havent left my moms side in the past 9 days, but today has been the first. My mom Barbara passed Sunday at 1:15 PM after declining rapidly in the past week. She was able to go in her home the way she wanted it and for that i am thankful. I took a leave of absence from my job to be able to be with her for the past 3 weeks and I am so glad for that time I had. It wasnt enough, but then I dont feel there could have been enough time. She fought so hard, even at the end. The hospice people found her pain so hard to manage and it was so frustrating... thank god shes no longer in pain. The last 2 days were the hardest because her pain was so great that she had to finally go on intravenous meds for her pain and she asked to be sedated. Sedating her was so hard... seeing her that way. She passed with my brother and father at the head of her hospital bed (they brought one into the house near the end) clinging to her head and myself at her side holding her hand. She became to weak to cough up the fluid that was building up in her lungs and i had to watch for almost 18 hours as she slowly drowned... my heart breaks thinking about it. The supernatural smile she gave me as she took her last breath comforts me and makes me believe in things i was never certain of before. Knowing that I never left her side chapsticking her lips wetting her mouth and rubbing her hand and arms consoles me... I know I did all I could. I couldnt even finish this... its been sitting on my desktop since monday afternoon. I still feel as empty as i did 3 and a half days ago, but there seems to be more closure now. The funeral is over but Ill never forget anything about her... she was the kindest most selfless person to ever live. I try to think of happier things now. She was born in the blizzard of '47 and went to claim her rightful place in heaven during the heart of the blizzard that just hit. It was poetic. Her funeral was on Valentine's day... so fitting for such an unendingly loving woman... Thank you all for being there during these difficult times =) ~Dave
  3. Brenda, My mom had a DVT in her right calf in mid november and was admitted to the hospital for a period of 2 days. I can totally understand your frustration with the hospital too, we were so horrified by their incompetence in managing my mom's pain (or doing anything at all for that matter) that we managed to get her released earlier. This was when she decided not to ever go back to the hospital and we started home hospice care. Mom has been and probably always will be very quick to oppose most medications. She was very against the coumadin because she knew someone who had a bad reaction... and the fact that warfarin was first used as a rat poison had her totally turned off to the idea... She stopped taking coumadin We were at first very upset at her for turning down what the doctor offered as the solution to her problems, but she was feeling as if things were turning for the worst and she just didnt like how sick the coumadin and heparin were making here feel. After the pain from the clot subsided she just stopped taking everything due to the nausea associated with it. We were so scared at first because we also had heard that clots were one of the leading causes of cancer deaths and the doctors tried scaring her to change her mind, but being thick-headed (wonder where i get it) she ignored them and decided to try a few natural anticoagulants. We really didnt like the idea of her ignoring the doctors this way so i spoke with the hospice care nurse alittle about that and he suggested plavix and baby aspirin which she has been on for quite some time now and no further problems. im certainly not condoning my moms blatant disregard for doctors by any means, it kinda drives me crazy... just wanted to tell you our story and see if it helped at all. Most of all never give up hope, try to listen to the doctors and know your options... My mom and I will be praying for you both. ~Dave PS: forgot one other thing... they have a surgery where they place a type of mesh filter in the vein to catch any clot from traveling to the heart/lungs... they first told her that was what ther were going to do nd then changed their minds midway thru saying that cancer patients make so many clots we'd have to put them everywhere... havent had any clots since... and i must say there flip flopiness is one of the reasons she decided to ignore what they told her. just wondering if they mentioned that option yet.
  4. Beth, Thank you so much for sharing your experience with all of us... The beuaty and honesty of your words are indescribably reassuring. I can only pray and hope that I can be as strong as you when the time comes for my mom (God let it be many years from now). I hope that the sharing of your experiences will help you heal, as much as it touches our hearts and helps us to prepare. Again, Thank you so much ~Dave
  5. Thanks for all the replies, Don't even know where to begin. All of you who have mentioned the sugar thing... I tend to believe that it isnt really a factor... the problem I have is that she has been so long convinced that it is something she has to minimize it has become a sort of mission that when shes on it she feels like shes fighting the cancer and it does empower her (she gets so much of it in her fruits and veggies anyway but seems to think its a different kind that wont be used by the cancer in the same way). I feel so reluctant to burst her bubble when she clings to things like this because she is so set in her ways and derives so much of her will to fight from these deeply rooted ideas (stubborn germans =P) I have just begun to be successful in getting her to consider possible radiation treatments to reduce the pain. I'd like to find more information on these types of radiation in order to further convince her. She was on the duragesic patch early on but didnt have a great reaction to them (nausea) but I think she might be a little more tolerant since her body has since learned to tolerate so many other drugs... some of which have similar active chemicals to the duragesic. I'm trying to get her to start on it just to see if it will work better than what she's on. My father is not handling the situation well at all. I'm adding this because I just spoke to him and he has me so stressed out right now. He's so negative and is looking for things to go wrong constantly. He keeps questioning the doctor asking for time frames, asking the Hospice people for timeframes. Its like hes searching so hard for signs that the worst is near. My mom was up last night at 430 am with a horrible cough that sounded like she had fluid in her lungs and was choking on heavy amounts of phlegm. It had her very distressed and passed after about a half hour... this was her first such episode. My Father is trying to claim that this is a sign that the end is near. From what I have read my mom is not close to the end... she still has an appetite, is completely coherent... has a serious loss of energy, but can still walk around, wash some dishes, breathe without oxygen... Im just so tired of him being soooo negative and searching for some sign of horrible things to come. What can I do? Ive told him all this but he defends himself with "being realistic and prepared" yet he wont read up or research thing son his own... just asks the 2 medical professionals he happens to come in contact with (hospice nurse and the family doctor) Im not entirely convinced he isnt twisting what they say to fit his gloomy visions of the future either. He seems to think that it is likely that she will die suddenly... he has no proof that this is likely. Is there any information I can show him regarding the progression or symptoms of the disease to refute his irrational claims so he can stop making my mom paranoid? Please forgive the rambling. And thank you all for your informative responses. ~Dave
  6. Hi guys, First of all I just want to say how great I feel being a part of this site and how immensely grateful I am that such a beautiful community has arisen out of such an indescribably trying circumstance. That being said it's time for me to ask a few questions =) 1. My mom is currently taking 240mg of oxycontin and 20mg of methadone every 8 hours as well as supplementing actiq (morphine based) lollipops and 15 mg oxycontin breakthrough pills. As little as 3-4 weeks ago it was only 80mg of oxy every 8. This dose was not allowing her to get through the night without waking up in excruciating pain which has her sobbing (my mom is NOT a crier), and breathing as if she is in labor. All attempts to manage the pain have been futile. They keep upping her dosages and she keeps having to deal with the exact same types of pain at the exact same times... it just doesnt make any sense... wondering if anyone has any idea what to do from their experience. ie: better pain medications. 2. Not sure if anyone else has heard anything about this, but from alot of the information we have read, in order to starve the cancer cells it is beneficial to try to minimize carbs/sugars. If anyone else has heard of or subscribes to this belief... do u have any diet recommendations about a non sugar/carb supplement in order to keep her calorie intake up? Or any other diet suggestions? P.S. My mom wanted me to ask if anyone else stage IV experiences "horrific stabbing pains" in the shoulder blades?
  7. Hi, I'm just curious if anyone else out there that has personally chosen, or had a family member choose to forego conventional treatments, and if so what course of action are they taking? Thanks, Dave
  8. Thanks guys for all the prayers and support, I can't tell you what a relief it is just to hear the encouragement... and I will relay it to my mom (she doesnt get on the computer at all anymore) One thing that has been a huge difficulty throughout this battle is that my mom had worked with ladies in the church with cancer, supporting them and doing research into holistic treatments for them for the 3 years prior to her herself being diagnosed. This may sound good, but the bad thing about it is that she had alot of preconceived notions about cancer treatment that steered her decisionmaking before she even heard the full daignosis. She is and was extremely against chemo/radiation due to examples she has had personal expeiences (friends) where it either didnt work or made people very ill or was believed to have led to their passing. Her determination to rely on diet and holistic treatments and her distaste for all things conventional has made it a somewhat difficult process. I am her confidante (being the child most like her) and I knew that she was unflappable in her stance that she'd rather spend her time pursuing the treatments she thought were non invasive and immune boosting, rather than conventional treatments. in the early stages we as a family made the decision to stand by her wishes regardless of our personal opinions. I believed strongly that no amount of persuading would change her and might only serve to confuse and demoralize her... she has remained convinced that what she is doing is right and I am glad for that. But sometimes I have my doubts. It seems I needed to vent because I forgot what point i was trying to make. But anyway that is the story... I am continuing to try to add to her research into holistic methods (oxygen therapy, detox, chelation therapy, high pH therapy, low sugar diet... the list grows longer all the time) All the while I wonder if we've done the right thing for her... the whole situation is so terribly vexing, and im naturally one to doubt/question myself. And again... thank you all so much for your support... I should have done this so much sooner.
  9. My mom is currently following a wholistic treatment path as she is now at the "it cant hurt" point. She was made aware of a new high pH treatment through a friend of hers, and is currenty following it aggressivley. Not sure if it is working but I do know it gives her hope and added will to live and for that I am thankful. After reading tons of pages of info on it and helping her order it I am very curious as to whether or not it will turn out to be as effective as its proponent claim it to be. I remain a huge skeptic... below is an information pack I put together for my mom to show people who asked her about the treatment she was on. I may sound a little more positive in my assesment of the websites than I actually feel at times, that is because my mom has placed a huge amount of hope in this treatment and I refuse to let my skepticism affect her outlook. She is gung-ho about it and I wont take that away from her. I'm also curious if anyone else has info about this or experience with it... thanks =) Different links on Cesium Treatments: Aloooot of reading here. Don't read it all at once or you may go cross eyed in a matter of hours =). 1. http://www.killcancercells.com/ Excellent site with a lot of good links. 2. http://www.krysalis.net/cancer.htm Another site with a list of alternative treatments. Cesium is discussed in #37. 3. http://www.thewolfeclinic.com/cesium.html Site seems semi incomplete, but has some more interesting info. 4. http://annieappleseedproject.org/cesiumchloride.html Cancer survivor, started site to promote alternative treatments. 5. http://www.alkalizeforhealth.net/Loxygen3.htm Another explorative site with a lot of information. 6. http://www.rainbowminerals.net/home.htm Site we ordered from, have to search a lot of links to get all the facts and information, but it is has some high quality minerals and vitamins. We simplified the list and are taking the potassium supplements, cesium, Vibe, and a pro-biotic.Scroll down the list to find cesium chloride. 7. http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/11571.c ... 729&tab=HC Sloan Kettering talks about some of the hazards in some rare cases (2), due to improper Potassium monitoring and supplementation Looks like the type of treatment with a lot of promise but one that is not fully understood yet. As long as you take the lower dose (3g/day), and monitor your potassium levels you seem to have nothing to lose. ALKALINE DIET: We've noticed that my mom's pH has stayed significantly higher than that reported for most cancer patients. Seeing this as possibly very positive were looking into more ways to increase (alkalize) her body. http://altmedicine.about.com/od/popular ... nediet.htm http://www.thewolfeclinic.com/acidalkfoods.html http://home.bluegrass.net/~jclark/coral_calcium.htm
  10. I truly feel for you Martha... went thru the same thing about 2 months ago with my mom. After we met with hospice though they reminded us that some people recover and live to see the day that they sign out of hospice... there is always hope, and all hospice really means is that your loved one will get better care. Wish you all the best. Dave
  11. Hi, My names Dave and my mom has stage IV NSCLC which was deemed inoperable back in July and due to her being very ill with Lyme's Disease it turned out she was not a good candidate for chemo and radiation (she also was very against these forms of treatment) She has been trying a consortium of alternative treatments and I have been helping her along the way. She's now starting to rapidly get weaker and I am beginning to become very concerned that she is approaching what may possibly be her final few months (I continue to pray I am wrong). In looking for information on what these next few months may hold I came across this site, and I must say I'm very glad to be here. Wish you all the very best. ~Dave
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