espy

I'm answering for my father who had not smoked for over 30 years at the time of his diagnosis. He had a persistent dry-like cough; never coughed up any blood. Went to emergency because he had a hard time walking only a few feet due to shortness of breath and fatigue.

Wow, looks and sounds like a great trail to me. I will add it to my hiking "to do" list. Thanks!

PS: KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

Believe me Angie, I hear you! I went through similar situations with my father and can feel your frustration. Yes, I agree, every patient needs a strong advocate to speak up when the need arises.

Ginny, I just got back from being away and was afraid of what I might find out about Earl. His circumstances were so similar to what my father went through at the end of his illness, that I figured it would not be long before he would lose his courageous battle. I'm sorry you two had to endure such a painful experience, but am glad you were able to do it together. It was evident in your posts that you and Earl had a very special relationship. My mother is still having a hard time accepting the death of my father which took place June 17th. However, although she still has some very difficult days, she is experiencing good days more often these days. I know your pain is very great right now. I hope with time things will get easier. Please accept my sincere sympathy. My thoughts will be with you.

Cheryl & Jack, Sorry to hear about your report. I can't even imagine how scary it must be for both of you. I pray you will find the strength to continue your fight. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm glad Hospice is going well for you and that Earl is now comfortable in a hospital bed. As I read your post I had many flashbacks from when we were taking care of my father in his hospital bed in his living room. I too had days when anything that I said or did, or anyone else said, caused me to be teary-eyed. Although it was about the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life, I have no regrets about having carried the whole thing through to the end. Please be sure to get as much sleep as possible, eat well, and get some quiet, alone time for yourself. I am praying for you and Earl.

Paula, I can understand your mixed emotions. There is such a fine line between doing too much and not enough. I have struggled with that constantly for the past year and half since my father's diagnosis. Now he is gone and I still struggle in knowing where to draw that line in helping my mother adjust to her new life without him. At times, I think it is impossible not to show the emotions, but the more rested and healthy you keep yourself, the stronger you will be for your family. You definitely, no matter what, need to make time for yourself. It is a very difficult situation you are dealing, and it will only be more difficult for you to handle if you don't take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. My thoughts are with you.

I am so sorry about the loss of your husband. I know life will be difficult for you for a while -- I pray that time will help ease the pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Before I hiked the Appalachian Trail in '94, I wanted to come up w/ a trail name. Several years prior, my husband and I had attempted to ski into a backcountry cabin in the mountains of Quebec named Refuge du Lac Esperance (or something like that). Because of a huge snowstorm and several feet of unpacked snow, we never made it to that cabin, but I never forgot about that trip. I looked up "Esperance" in a French dictionary and found that in English it meant hope. I knew that in order to finish the AT, I would probably be able to use some hope. I mentioned to my twin sister and a friend that I was thinking about using the trailname Esperance; they thought it was too long, so I shortened it to Espy.

Ginny, I am saddened to hear about Earl's worsening condition. I hope that Hospice does for you and Earl what it did for us. Whenever a nurse or home health aide left after a visit w/ my father at his home, we all felt more confident w/ what we were doing. We just wanted to do whatever was best for Dad. It was good to have some guidance and be reassured that we taking good care of him. Without the physical and emotional support that Hospice provided us with, we would not have been able to keep him at home. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Earl.

Wow, Sandy, that's great news!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!

Joyce, My father started experiencing headaches when he first got up in the morning a short time after starting on Iressa. They went away after he had been up for a while. He was on Celebrex for his arthritis at the time and took it in the a.m. Not sure if the Celebrex had anything to do w/ his headaches going away or not.

Connie, Thanks so much for the info on Cheryl. I'm sorry to hear about the fluid on her heart, but glad she is feeling better after it was extracted. My father had alot of fluid removed from his heart in April of 2003 via a pericardial window, and afterward felt better than he had in months. My thoughts and prayers are with Cheryl during her recovery.

I agree, the hospital bed sounds like a great idea if you can get Earl to go along with it. My father was getting to the point of not being able to get to point A to point B without tons of help and chose to stay in his recliner for a night instead of going to his bed. We got a hospital bed the next day (had it set up in my parents living room) after we discovered a large hematoma on his backside from sitting too long in one position. Seeing the sore was just devastating to me, and I know if we'd had a hospital bed sooner along with instruction on how to turn him from side to side every few hours, it would have been prevented. It was also much easier to take care of him and sit close to him with the bed. I could tell just by looking at him after we got him all settled in bed w/ clean, soft sheets, and a clean soft hospital gown that he felt much more comfortable. I'm glad things are looking up a bit for you both. My thoughts are with you.

Don, My 3 sisters, mom, husband and brother-in-law recently took care of my father round the clock for 7 days until his passing on June 17th. I can't even imagine doing it for even a day by myself. You certainly are carrying a heavy load. I know some people have had negative experiences w/ Hospice, but we had a very, very positive one. Whether it was a home health aide, a visiting nurse, or a hospice nurse, it seemed like someone always showed up at the right time. After each one left, I always felt so much better. They listened to our concerns, gave us tips on how to care for Dad as well as ourselves, showed genuine concern for my father, and gave us confidence when we really needed it most. Have you thought about looking into a visiting nurse service and/or hospice?

Don, Wow, 45 years!!! You two have been through so much together and I can tell from your posts that you care very deeply for each other. You deserve to have a wonderful celebration. HAPPY 45TH!!!!!!!!!!!

Gail, That is such a wonderful note. I'm sure your husband will cherish it forever. Congratulations on your 21st wedding anniversary!

Peggy, I am sorry for the loss of your father. It sounds like he was a wonderful man. It's so great that you and your sisters could all be there with him, what a great gift that is for all of you. Please accept my sincere sympathy.

Dean, Thank you for your update. I am always interested in reading about how people are doing. I'm sorry that your disease has now progressed to the point of your not being able to drive. Your extreme lack of energy must be disappointing and frustrating, yet you seem to be making the best of things. My thoughts are with you.

Elaine, I thing what you are doing is wonderful and very brave!! Although your children may cry some, I'm sure they will smile as well, and the crying will be as healing for them as the smiles. Collecting some pictures of you and your family showing some fun times you had together might also be something they would appreciate.

Thank you all so very much for your thoughtful notes. You are all so very kind and caring! I have been without internet access for the past week. My 3 sisters, mother, other relatives and I spent some time at our family cottage, my father's favorite place, on the St. Croix River in New Brunswick. My father's burial was in Calais, Maine, his hometown, which is just across the border from our cottage. My father fought a hard battle for a year and a half. Things didn't turn out quite the way we'd hoped. Though I miss him very much, I can honestly say I am relieved. Watching him deteriorate so rapidly during his last week was the most painful thing I have ever been though in my entire life. I feel honored that he trusted us to care for him during that time and, although it was very difficult in many ways, I also feel very rewarded. He is at peace now - he doesn't have to fight any more, and I am thankful for that. Thank you all so much again for your thoughfulness.

Sandy, Hope your test results are good. My thoughts will be with you.

Janet, Reading your entry about your brother brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad for you that you were able to be holding his hand when he took his last breath. I'm sure that's something you'll cherish forever. Please accept my sincere sympathy on your loss.

Barbara, Not sure about the liver lesions or brain radiation, but strongly recommend at least familiarizing yourself and your Dad with what the hospice program is all about. You can call in Hospice without giving up hope, and I'm sure you will find it very helpful whether your Dad gets better or not. I think it's better to be introduced too early rather than too late. My father passed away recently in the comfort of his own home w/ his four daughters and wife by his side. Without the help, education and support that our local hospice program provided us with, things would have been so much more difficult during Dad's last few days. I actually felt at peace when he took his last breath and had no regrets of not having said what I wanted to say to him or done what I wanted to do for him. Without hospice and/or without reading the book "Final Gifts", I'm not sure how I would have felt.