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carolyn50

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Everything posted by carolyn50

  1. I am right behind you being without my John for 31 months now. He passed away on 9-30-04. I still grieve so much yet. I don't really know if it is apparent to others. I am surely not the same person. Our anniversary is coming up on the 17th and it would have been 27 years. Oh, how I miss him. I am grateful I have our children. And it is my job to see them grow up and be independent. And I love taking care of them. I see some of John in each of them. His outright laughter in our oldest, his wit in our second and his looks in our daughter. I hope you can find some peace. Some days I feel he is right beside me yet. He certainly is here in my soul and heart and mind. I still try to keep extremely busy. He is just missing so much. Take care. And take one day at a time and enjoy each day as it comes. I do really try to do that because as we well know, we don't know what tomorrow will bring. Carolyn
  2. carolyn50

    Missing Him

    I lost my John 30 months ago to NSCLC and it is still so very lonely for me. He was truly my soul mate and I know what you are going through. You just have to take one day at a time and try to enjoy your sons for your husband too. I try to do everything I can for our 3 children. They are the best. And John would want me to enjoy life again. I know there will never be anyone else but I am accepting that. I used to think he was coming home but I do not anymore. Only in my dreams which I treasure. We were married 24 years and knew each other 30. Lately, though I have to say that the wonderful good memories have been back in my mind more than the ones when he was suffering. So, just take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself and remember everyone moves at their own pace. I still have all of Johns stuff and I wear his ring on my right hand and mine on my left. And it feels good to me. Have a good day. Carolyn
  3. carolyn50

    The Gift of Grief

    MEA, I lost my beloved husband of 53 two years ago on Sept. 30 to NSCLC. Your Gift of Grief was very meaningful to me. I try to understand that it is a choice to either bow under the grief or be strong but I seem to be bowing more again under the weight of all that was lost to our family when John died. It is still so overwhelming. I feel, too, that I have lost myself as well. I have lost all confidence and I am so pesimistic. I will keep trying though. Thank you.
  4. I know how hard it is. I lost my husband John in 2004 and time is not helping. I am hollow and will always be in love with John. I did want to say to take time for yourself and rest and try to find some peace in something to comfort you. I do find comfort in walking every day on the walk he and I walked our dogs together. It has become our time as I have him with me in my heart and soul. Take care, Carolyn
  5. Ginny, It will be two years for me too since I lost my husband, John to NSCLC. It seems like yesterday. And, I too, will always love John. I am so hollow lately. It is so hard. I miss him so. But I need to be here for my children. And so we go on. Good luck to you. Carolyn
  6. carolyn50

    Poem

    Karenl, Thank you so much for posting the poem. I am struggling tonight. I lost my husband of 24 years 18 months ago and it is still so very painful. I was watching the movie Capote tonight and I was getting such racking memories of John that they just seized me into crying jags. I finished the movie and so was here on the internet and found your beautiful poem. Thanks for the comfort, Carolyn
  7. Audrene, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my husband 18 months ago to lung cancer at the age of 53. We had been married for 24 years with 3 children. It is so hard. I try to take only one day at a time. I would like to recommend a website that has helped me with over 5,000 members. It is called the young widow bulletin board at www.ywbb.org It has different forums and it has been helpful for me to sound off my feelings because sometimes I really think I am going crazy. And please try to rest as much as possible. It takes a lot of energy to grieve. Take care, Carolyn
  8. I found this quote from Dana Reeve and I absolutely feel the same way for my late husband, John. REEVE: I made a vow to Chris when we married that I would love him and I would be with him in sickness and in health. And I did OK with that. But there's another vow that I need to amend today. I promised to love, honor and cherish him until death did us part. Well, I can't do that because I will love, honor and cherish him forever. Goodbye to you!
  9. Ladyintheglen, I am thinking of you. I lost my husband John at the age of 53 on 9-30-04 to NSCLC. I am still in so much pain missing him. But please be sure that you rest enough and just to take one day at a time. Carolyn
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