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jessicab7439

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Everything posted by jessicab7439

  1. I am so sorry for your lose. I lost my dad on 2-3-06 and he was dx in December of 05 so I know what a shock it was.
  2. I only posted on here a few times, but I wanted to let everyone know that my dad went “home home” on February 3rd. The last few days were rough for my husband, and me but dad slept the whole time and passed away in his sleep. I am still trying to cope but each day I seem to get a little better. Thank you all for your support.
  3. If you are visiting your father before the kids see him, it may be a lot easier to explain to them what is going on. My father also has brain mets, and it is hard trying to explain to people what he is like. They don’t completely understand until they see him. The night before your kids see him, you may want to explain some of the things he is doing, so that way it is less scary for them. When they visit with him, make sure you are in the room with them. Also when they are done visiting take them outside with you and talk to them about what was going on. I know with my dad when evener he has a new visitor I always talk to them before hand so they know what to expect. I always make sure I am in the room with them that way if they have any questions about what he is saying I can try to help. Most importantly let them see him and say their good-byes. I think this is one of the important parts of grieving. Good luck.
  4. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, it really means a lot to me. I know my father is young and it is still hard for me to comprehend why he doesn’t want treatment, but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he has fulfilled his purpose in life. His main goal since the time I was born was to raise me and see me grow up. Now that he has done that he can let go, and start his new life in heaven. When we were in the hospital the doctor said my father should have passed away two years ago based on the size of the cancer, and she could not understand why he was still around. My husband and I looked at each other and smiled because we knew why he was still here. Now that I am married it is time for him to go and I have to understand that and not be selfish, but it is still hard to let go. All I need is faith and strength and I will get through this. Thanks for listening.
  5. I am so happy I have found a resource like this. I never thought my life would be turned upside down and inside out so quickly. So here is my story: In August of the past year my 59-year-old father told me something was wrong with him, and he thought it was lung cancer. I told him to go see the doctor but he refused. In November my fiancé and I finally got married after 6 and half years of dating. Right before the wedding my father told me that when I was born the only thing he asked of god was that he see me grow-up and walk me down the aisle. I told my husband right before the wedding that I didn’t think my dad was going to hang on to much longer. On 12/19/05 I called him to check in on him and he was speaking very oddly, he was having aphasia (I didn’t know this at the time) and wanted to drive to the local VA clinic. I panicked and told him to stay put and that I was on my way. When I arrived at his house he was fine, so he got into the truck and went to the clinic anyways. Once we arrived he started getting very confused again, and the VA told me I should take him to the ER. I got him admitted to the ER and they did a CAT scan and found two lesions on his brain. By the time the CAT san happened he was experiencing really bad aphasia, and had a seizure in the ER. He was admitted into the hospital and I was told that he had a large mass (12cm) in his lung and they believed that the cancer spread to his brain. They did an MRI the next day and it was confirmed. I had no idea that lung cancer could spread to the brain. He stayed in the hospital until 12/26 clinging to life the first 3 days, then miraculously he started to get better on the fourth day. The doctors recommended hospice care. Luckily I had spoken with my father about this a few weeks prior and he agreed that it was a good idea. He was discharged from the hospital on 12/26 and moved into an assisted living facility. He is still at the facility and under hospice care. He is still mobile and able to perform most ordinary functions, but he needs someone watching over him at all times. Ever since the seizures in the ER he has not been the same. His memory is pretty much gone and he can barely carry on a basic conversation. I stop by everyday after work to see him and you can just tell he is getting worse day by day. The hospice nurse comes by at least once a week, and every time she comes by they increase his pain medication. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my entire life, and I would not wish this on anyone. It is basically just me and my husband taking care of him, with the exception of the assisted living facility. Any advice you could provide on what I could expect, what to look for, or anything would be appreciated. Before I found this site I felt like I was alone in this battle, but now I know that there are others. Thanks for listening.
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