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begonia

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  1. begonia

    My mom

    Hi all. I need either reassurance or change of thinking. Mom has stage III nsclc with spots on sternum area, no spreading to liver or brain. Has had 5 chemo, very strong treatments.She is c ompletely in bed, say 90% of the time. Dad is doing all housework and cooking, me and my sister too. She is so sick and weak. No meds really have helped. She decided this week not to take the next chemo (the last one). And she decided to stop radiation and let nature take it's course. She says she is tired of being so sick she can't live any life. From what I have read on here, a lot of patients get treatments and feel bad, but begin to feel better. Mom has been going down hill since her second treatment. No energy, no appetite. The usual. We meet with onco on Wed. I'm afraid he will want her to continue. I don't think she will be able to handle the next treatment. The dr says once we stop treatments her cancer will regrow within 2 months. She says if she is going to be sick and always have to live on treatments, she is ready to stop. I would l ike to know what you all think about this. I will anxiously be awaiting your replies. Thank you so much. These boards have helped me so much. Sincerely, Ruby.
  2. Ann, my mother has NSCLC Stage III-five chemo treatments and we met lastwednesday and decided no more. She is ready to stop. She is in bed 90% of the time. We will tell onco this next wed that we will stop. I hope he agrees. It is going to come back at any point, she can't live on chemo. She says she is ready to let nature t ake it course. She is very tired. But is an amazing woman.I am learning so much fr om her at this time. Her integrity, spirit and determination. She says she is not giving up, s he is being realistic. I will pray for you in my prayers tonight when I pray for her. God bless you, Ann.
  3. Janet thank you for posting. Right now we are looking at a prognosis of 1 year, so if she makes it longer, like your mom, that will be even better. Do you think she would have done all the chemo and everything if she had it to do all over again? My mom is undecided whether or not she is going to do chemo. I think she will. She has always been a fighter. Right now she has the opinion that nothing is going to help any way. She just doesn't want the time she has left to be sick. Sorry you lost your mom. But for those of us still going through the process, thank you for posting even after your mom died. I can't imagine life without my mom. But I know you felt the same way too. But if we live long enough we will see our parents die. My son died at age 22, killed by a drunk driver. That was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I want to remain strong for my mom. Thank you for your words.
  4. Well, I took you guys' advice and called the oncologist today. They were wonderful. They too agreed that the wait and see approach was not acceptable. They scheduled an appt and bone scan for next Friday. If I waited for the pulmonologist to get around to scheduling her appt with onco. it would probably be another month. Anyway, thanks to you guys and your suggestions she is now scheduled and we feel much better. The oncologist even said they would cancel her now scheduled tests (bone scans) at the other hospital and schedule them right away at their hospital (Which is an hour closer to us anyway). So now we feel like we are taking some control over the situation. I'm trying to figure out how to say this nice. I can't believe all the wait, test, wait, appt., wait, test, we have gone through. It should not be this way. It is hard enough to get this kind of news and deal with 3-4 doctors, hospitals, etc and still not know everything is unacceptable. Again, thank you so much for helping me take charge. Your posts hopefully have given us more time with my mom, for that I am so grateful. She is having a lot of pain right now around her lymph glands in her neck. With her having COPD it makes it even harder.
  5. Thanks for the suggestions. As soon as the scans are done I will call the pulmonologist and tell him the time frame is not acceptable to us and we want answers now and treatment options available for discussions. Holly I'm glad your mom was still here to see your child. What a terrible thing to go through while one experience is beautiful and happy another sad. You have to be a strong person to handle all this. Congratulations on your baby. I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks to you all.
  6. Wow. I can't believe the responses, so quickly. Question, how do I profile my mom's condition and update it? Now, for today. Went to pulmonologist this morning, he is ordering more scans of stomach, belly area and bones to see if there is any spreading to those areas. He still didn't give us any more information that we knew before. He has scheduled her to come back to his office in a month to discuss her tests. sounds like a long time to me. I would think that he would want to see her next week once he gets the path report and the scans back. Is this unusual? Thanks for all the posts. I read every one. I'm 49 years old and live in North Carolina. Thanks again.
  7. We just got the diagnosis yesterday (1/24/06), pathology is not confirmed yet, surgeon did open lung biopsy. We hope to get more information tomorrow at her pulmonary appt. We have been through a medical nightmare, wait and see, wait and see. All we want is information. It is such a long drawn out process. The doctors need to put themselves in our shoes, waiting can sometimes cause more stress than the actual information. I think the dr's are afraid to be the one to break the news. We have been told it is cancer and stage IIIA, have any of you have medical nightmares in the beginning to find out the truth? By the way, I'm new and so glad I found this. I'm sorry my first post is negative but I feel better now that it is out. What can we do different? I'm up for suggestions. My mom keeps getting sicker and sicker. Valuable time has been wasted. They have been in no hurry to speed things along. Thanks for reading my post. I've enjoyed the message boards and the information. Gives me hope.
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