Connie22

I found this definition for you, Hugs and Prayers Connie Cachexia: Physical wasting with loss of weight and muscle mass caused by disease. Patients with advanced cancer, AIDS, and some other major chronic progressive diseases may appear cachectic. Cachexia is a wasting syndrome that causes weakness and a loss of weight, fat, and muscle. Anorexia (lack of apppetite) and cachexia often occur together. Cachexia can occur in people who are eating enough, but who cannot absorb the nutrients. Cachexia is not the same as starvation. A healthy person's body can adjust to starvation by slowing down its use of nutrients, but in cachectic patients, the body does not make this adjustment

Kasey- Thanks for the nice words-my mom was a young 64 when she passed-everyone thought we were sisters. I am so glad that she is remembered by you,when you wear your sweatshirt. I would love to be there in person this year....hmmmm maybe I will have to consider that. Jen- I am going to Flanderau and she did get in the money booth-every b-day.....3 years ago she won $110.00 in the booth, me on the other hand, the year I did the booth I won $3.00. Go figure. Hugs and prayers Connie

As I sit here at the computer and read all the posts from the night before, I cannot help but reflect on this last year. Tomorrow it will be one year since I joined this wonderful place and it also happens to be my mom's 65th b-day. No, I didn't want to be here, but ended up here and am I thankful that I did. I had no need for new friends in my life, I have a lot. But I have no friends like you guys here on this board. I have never met so many compassionate and caring people in my life!! That is why I keep coming back. Thank you for always being here! A lot has happened in this last year. Some is good, some is bad, and some is just plain ugly. I weigh the good with the bad and always seem to come up fighting. Fighting for the positive things, always trying to see the silver lining. Afterall that is what I was taught growing up, (by my mother). One thing that always comes to mind is what Becky (snowflake) says: "Put your big girl panties on", This has gotten me through a lot in life in the last 3 months. I had a lot of the firsts without mom: Nov 22 my b-day, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then her dx'd day and hospital stay, then my daughters b-day, now her b-day. Everyone of these "first's" were dealt with in a different way. Each one of these I find something that mom and I used to like to do together, and I do that thing. For example, I used to take Mom to the spa-so for my b-day, I spent the whole day at the spa. What a great way to reflect on our wonderful journey together. It is a journey, because we both have the same destination in mind. Do I miss her less-absolutely NOT!!!! But, I need to feel her presence and this is how I choose to do so. I still have my bad days-crying and missing her and wishing I could talk to her one more time. I have no idea what I would say-we said it all! We both knew how and what the other one was thinking. That is how I live my life, before she passed and today. I try to leave nothing unsaid, because we just never know what the future holds. I try to remember what she said to me the day before she passed- "Kid, it has been a wonderful life and one hell of a ride. We fought this beast with everything we had, it did not win. I am ready to go home and I and you both know that we will see each other soon". "We" meaning that my mom and I were always a team in the 44 years we had together. How can I be angry with an attitude like that? I hope I can be as positive and strong as she was. I pray for this on a daily basis. How am I going to honor "her" day tomorrow? For her 63rd B-day, I took her and her sister to Vegas. We had a blast!!!! She liked to gamble (spend her $20.00) once a year! Always on her B-day we would go to a casino, about 30 minutes from here, and do just that. So tomorrow afternoon, I will get in my car and drive there by myself, and put in her $20.00 and just do some reflecting. I need to go alone, because noone could ever take the place of my wonderful mom and I really need to "reflect" on this year past. It took a year, but I finally figured out (by myself) how to put her picture on here. I pray for everyone on this site daily. I think about the caregivers on this site daily, and I really do understand what you are going through. Please remember to enjoy ever minute that you can with your loved one, this I do not regret. For some time after mom passed I played the "what if's" game with myself. This only depressed me and I realized "it is what it is". Thanks for always being here-through the good, the bad and the ugly! Hugs and prayers Connie

Amanda - There is always hope-please do not give up. You and your family are in my prayers. Hugs and prayers Connie

Count me in.

This is wonderful news Nick-

Moonstar- I am so sorry for your loss-please know that you and your family are in my prayers. Hugs and Prayers Connie

Lorrie- this is GREAT news. I have thought of you and Gary often. I am so glad that the news was positive. Take care!!! Hugs and Prayers Connie

Welcome to the community. I just wnated you to know that I will say a prayer for you and your family. Stay stong- Hugs and prayers Connie

I don't know what to say except your family is in my prayers. Connie

Thank you Randy for remembering us all I am not alone in my loss Hugs and prayers Connie

Thanks Peggy for the suggestion. Because I am in need of a good read (now) I did a search and saw that Wal-Mart has the book for $10.35, so... I am going to the store to buy this book. I can't wait for it to be shipped. It's gonna be cold here most of the week through the weekend so I can use a good book. I'll let you know what I think when I finish it. Connie

Bill- Thanks for taking the time to share especially on the dying process. I so totally "get it". I really enjoy your writing, keep it up! Connie

I personally like the timelines-it shows others where we have been and what we have been through with this horrible fight. I do think everyone is entitled to their opinion- it is part of life, however I do not think this should be open for discussion. I believe at a later date, when Katie and Rick are back, they should be the ones who make the decision. We all have at least one thing in common---Lung Cancer. We are here to support others going through all kinds of trials and triumphs, not only the bad but the good as well. This site has been my source of info for along time almost a full year now. It almost seems like a new addiction-checking in to see how everyone is doing- whether they are the patient or the caregiver. I truly feel like I have a connection with a lot of people here- people that helped me through an extremely difficult time in my life. I hope that I can help someone as much as some of you have helped me. Continuing prayers for everyone on this board Connie

I am so sorry and you have my prayers. I do know how you are feeling- I have been there. I so understand the letting go process you describe. Please keep in touch! Hugs and prayers Connie

Michelle, I can relate so well with your feelings and emotions. It is the hardest thing ever for me to go through. Going through her "things" is the hardest thing I have ever done. My mom lived two blocks from me, so.....I have to drive by everyday like I have for seven years and I still look to see if she is "home". The feelings never leave, I think it just gets a little less painful, everytime I am there. God bless and I pray for comfort. Connie

old coupons

I am so sorry for your loss-May you find comfort and peace. Please do stay in touch. Hugs and prayers Connie

Welcome to this wonderful LC support site-although I am sorry that you have a need to be here. One of the most important things that I learned was just to be there for my mother. I am so thankful that I could be. Sometimes it takes a lot of inner strength and a whole lot of soul searching to find the strength, but for me, looking back now, I am so thankful that I was there. It can be such a rollercoaster at times but just know that we are here for you! Hugs and Prayers Connie

Lorrie I have thought about you alot lately wondering how you two were doing. Next time don't stay away so long. Hugs and prayers Connie

This brings back so many memories for me. Please know that we are here for you and I will say a prayer for you and your family. For me, I needed to be there all the time. Everyone is different. Please, do what you need to do. Hugs and prayers Connie

My mom went through the same thing-They said it was too strong of a drug for her. They switched her to a milder pain medication, which didn't take the pain away and then put her back on a lower dosage of morphine-which helped tremendously. Good luck.

Welcome to this wonderful site! You will find a lot of great info here, this was my life saver for several months and still is in many ways-even after mom passed away. I pray for you and your sister, being caregivers it is sooo hard to watch your Mom go through this. Take time for yourself and try and stay as positive as you can. Hugs and prayers Connie

Sarah, I too am praying for strength and courage. I went through this myself not too long ago with my mom. I am soooo thankful I was with her! Prayers and hugs Connie

Bev and the family have my prayers Hugs Connie