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About Linda661

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  1. What has worked for me to help get me through this "anniversary syndrome" is: 1. Acknowledge the hurt and sadness as we feel it. 2. The hurt now has a chance to begin to heal if we will permit ourselves to not let our minds keep replaying what is no more. What I've been doing is spending time with nature sounds (like listening to the birds singing, the wind blowing, the rain falling) and/or playing calm, relaxing music (whatever that is for me on that day -- that's going to be personal preference)....the music picks aren't to distract my mind, they are to heal my soul, if you will. I fi
  2. Got to say this rubs me the wrong way too. My first reaction was "well, get back to me when you've lost your mom, then we'll see." And just what does it mean to "be strong" and "move on?" Like none of us are? Goodness, it'll be 3 years on my dad in April and I can't say that I'm "over it" yet. Mom's will be 2 years in July......I'm with Katie on this one: I don't think you're ever really over it, you just learn how to go on living with loss. Linda
  3. A good friend of mine who had experienced significant loss in her life before me told me this -- it's from a bunch of research she did to sort out what was happening to her over the years after loss, but she never gave me the book names or where she got this information: To expect that significant dates such as the one you are in now to bring up the same feelings you had at the time -- our bodies have been "imprinted" if you will with the memory of our reaction because they were so emotionally charged for us at the time. It's not uncommon to notice a fogginess in decision-making, fatigue, an
  4. Thanks for all of the support gang -- everyone here is simply the best! I did uncover a huge body of new evidence today that has me seriously considering not taking the Chantix. Much more serious side effects other than the behavior change stuff I already knew about, from folks who have taken it for months. A friend I know who works in a pharmacy has not encountered what I found today. RandyW...if you want my links, I'll be happy to give them to you for your review to see if you think they are viable sources to post -- they are personal accounts of many folks who have taken the drug. I'
  5. Boy, lots of great insights here. It's important to try not put the burden of outcome on your shoulders like that. May be easier to say than feel, but you've got to let yourself off the mistake hook. All of us get more proficient as we tackle issues, any issues, in life and none of us start out "perfect" (nor am I sure that we ever end up "perfect" in life....it seems that there's always more to discover). I resolved the consequences of my decisions by reflecting that I had made the best decision I could with what I knew at the time that I had to make each decision along the way...that has
  6. Thanks for all of your support. That's one awesome website KatieB and will help a lot. Probably will find out where there's local support group(s) as well: formal support groups generally don't work too well with me, but....never say never. I'm aware of the FDA investigation on Chantix -- read it here first a bit ago from a RandyW post ; did more research on that issue and from what I can tell, it's got to be related to the use of nicotine as an anti-depressant by the body (so I've got to know what I'm going to do with that as anxiety/mild depression is already a factor in my life from w
  7. Your job will be as someone whom I am accountable to when I quit smoking -- not so much like a military general, but someone whom I can PM when the emotional urge is on and I have no one to turn to, if necessary. It would help if I had a folk or two who have done this a bit ago and could potentially help me on a PM basis with other issues that might come up, like weight gain.....you know, advice of what I could do for those bumps that might happen. I saw that "Breathe Free" Oprah show, DonnaG....it was really good. I took the quiz on her website....I'm definitely a coping with anxiety type
  8. Randy: I never saw this post after I joined here -- thanks for bumping it.....it brought tears to my eyes -- not out of sadness, but because so much of what you had to say in that original post is what I would/could have said.....every medical person was kind.....we can't change the destiny of our loved one (my words), but we can support them as much as we can....oh heck Randy I'm just at a loss.....that was a beautiful post of yours. I told you in a recent private that I wanted to send you a blanket all the days of your life and I mean that....you are an exceptional being, Randy, and I don'
  9. Linda661

    Bad Dream

    Teri: You're not alone in that kind of dream. I've had several dreams fairly recently of me and both of my parents....and I wasn't watching any medical shows on TV the night before, if that helps..... Both of my parents are present in my dream and there are arguments going on. These dreams seem to be more about me working out my hidden anger issues that I held back in life -- like I never felt that my mom would support me if I was ill or needed help...well, I never got to find that out in "real life" but it was a feeling of mine because of how I saw her as a person in life. I've had sever
  10. Thank you Welthy for triggering my memory . Yes, my mom used a home nebulizer (though I don't remember at this point whether some of those nebulized meds had a steroid component or not...I think they did) and Advair diskus for bronchial constriction due to anxiety (plus some other oral anti-anxiety meds). I'm going to add to please not panic about the oxygen issue, in general. Oxygen is doing what it needs to without a worry about major obstructions somehow undermining it's effectiveness, from my experience. My mom was on 6 liters O2 continuous for much of the time -- that kept her oxyge
  11. Talk with dad's medical team on this one ASAP -- it's not a good idea to adjust the oxygen flow on your own unless your medical team has trained you and you are doing it with the aid of something that goes on the fingertip to measure oxygen saturation in the body -- I forget the name of that gizmo now. The flow rate was set (or should have been) based on the oxygen saturation of the cells and we were told that over-saturation (i.e. more supplemental oxygen flow than was needed) can cause problems of its own. It's possible to have enough oxygen flow and yet feel short of breath from constrict
  12. Linda661


    Red wine is an excellent source of antioxidants and something called resveratrol, which research is finding is good for a whole host of things...one of which may be preventing and/or slowing the growth of lung cancer. Now, that said, let's not have everyone running for the bottle! Red wine is one of the highest in content for resveratrol among "foods," but there are other sources -- red grape juice included. White wine and other liquors do not have this property -- the benefits come from the skins, stems and seeds of grapes used for wine; if processing was different for white wine, I don't
  13. Good to know about the lozenges -- when I get to my doc later this month, I'm definitely going to ask her about how to cope differently with the weak point of stress. Coping with anxiety seems to be a weak point in my life skills and she already knows that (even before the LC journey this was an issue) -- we already tried SSRIs for that and those don't work on me....all I get is a migraine headache from those and feel like I'm on speed or something (and that wasn't even on a full dose of what most people start with). And, I've talked to more folks (like counseling) over the years and that do
  14. Hi Erin: Congrats on your smoke-free status!!! I'm interested in your thread as I have done a couple of quit attempts myself, but haven't been successful yet . I can't use the gum because of all of my dental work, but I've done the patch and cold turkey so far. I just might try Chantix next (I see the doc later this month), even though 3 people I know who used it last year were not successful in quitting with it (but I do know why they failed, that helps). Otherwise, I'll try lozenges out now....figure I'll discuss it with the doc. first though. From what I can find, freedom from nico
  15. I haven't posted much for months now. I intended to leave this site awhile ago, but find myself checking in from time to time because I just care about a lot of folks here and want to know how they're doing -- not so sure that's helped much....every loss or personal crisis of someone here tends to just hit me like it happened to my own family and me. What can I say....everyone here did become my second family because all of you did or are living through the same major life event as me. Maybe it seems so major to me since I don't have any family left now -- losing my mom to LC was my last bl
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