sparrow

Yesterday marked 15 months since I lost my Mom. And i just lost it. You think I would be over it by now. I was at work and just started to cry. No one understands. I think I am becoming a very angry person. My co-workers who have no clue thought it would be funny to fill my purse up with female products. They think this is PMS. Their ignorant. I try so hard to let go. But it is hard. For two years I took care of her. I watch this thing destroy her. Right now my job requires me to be around the dead basically. So there is no escape. I need to work. But it is a constant reminder. I need advice on how to not be so angry and how to let this go. And how on the really bad days i can pretend long enough to get through work. I can't cry at work anymore.

I think it means that even though you miss him and you want to go and be with him. It is not your time. You need to stay on this planet and live your life. I don't get the animal and fish thing. But I personally feel he was trying to talk to you and let you know that just because it was his time, it deosn't mean it is your time.

Okay I am just not computer savvy. But can someone please explain to me how to get pictures of loved ones on on this board. I really would like to put one of my mother on the "wall of memory" but it is not working.

Dear Jackie, I understand how you feel. It takes a long time to get over the guilt. I also felt i should have done more. But, the truth is that all we can do is our best. I know you did your best for your Dad and he knows to. It is NOT your fault. You did not cause his cancer and you did not cause his death. Cancer did. Blame that beast. Don't you dare take any of the blame. As far as the pain. It is horrible for awhile. Let yourself grieve. Be patient with yourself and understand that someday your grief will subside. But first step is accepted the fact that you did nothing wrong. I will keep you in my thoughts.

I was wondering if anyone else out there was the primary care-giver. I was my mothers and I am finding hard not to feel guilty for things I should of done or should not have done. It has been over a year now and i still think about the day she passed.