henesey

MIL passsed away this morning. We were called into palliative Friday night and spent the weekend with her. Her passing was very peaceful. Our pastor had just arrived 15 minutes prior and we were holding her hands and chatting with the pastor and she just slipped away while we were all chatting. (Hazel had not been able to speak for several days but she was watching us all and enjoying the conversation) It was very anticlimatic. All the nurses who entered kept commenting on how peaceful it was in the room during our vigil. The power of prayer was at work. I am now working on funeral arrangements. Please pray for the continued peace of my family as we process our loss.

sad day, she never smoked a day in her life. She waitressed for years and it was second hand smoke that caused her cancer.

my mom in law never asked questions either. I made sure I went to every doctors appointment and was able to translate what the doctors were saying into plain english for her. Alot of the time they just don't understand what is being said to them and meds may make them even more confused. Be vigilant.

hard candies help. (try to get ones made with nutrasweet) My brother quit smoking by sucking on fishermans friends lozanges. YUCK! He should also try top avoid things that he associated with smoking. ie) sitting down with a coffee, going to a bar that type of thing. you might ask him to go for a walk with you instead. Remember that the cravings only last for 30 seconds at a time. so get through that 30 seconds and take them as they come. It has been 16 years since I quit so I can't remember much more than that.

praying for your Dad and family Sherri

my MIL has had swelling in her left arm and now it is starting in the right. Is this normal for LC ? No one seems concerned about it or knows why it is happpening. She is in palliative care.

I made puddings with half and half cream to pack on calories for MIL. she was eating an extra 8-1200 calories this way.

I wish I had words to comfort you Lisa but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I wish she was living with me becky but she has her own seniors apaptement which was alot of the problem because I had to spend my time over there and my kids were left at home unsupervised. I have thought of bringing her her but we are on three levels with one bathroom and she is wheelchair bound. The best option for her is palliative care center. the rooms are huge, wheelchair accessable have private phones and large tv's, family dining room and kitchen, rec facitlity and even a family room for out of town guests so they can be close to her.

After several months of being with my mother in law for 12-14 hour days, it has finally caught up with me. I got a flu and am worn out. Hubby has been put on stress leave from work and his doctor told him he was not to spend his time hovering over his mom. With no one else to take over from us. We decided that we can not do it anymore. Our children have been suffering . one son is graduating this spring and his needs have been pushed to the side. My youngest son has been working on his homeschooling independantly for the last three months and enough is enough. We have a lovely palliative center here where she would get wonderful care however she flat out refused to go there. Her doctor had a talk with her and it was decided she would go into the hospital instead. The doctor made it quite plain to her that it was a permanant move. Yesterday when hubby took her there. she complained about everything, size of room ,food, cost of phone and tv (woould have been paid for at palliative and a huge tv with large room) Now it appears she thinks that she is coming home as soon as I am well. It isn't happening. I cannot do it anymore. it is too hard on my husband and children. I do have the option of speaking with the management at her apartment building and having them evict her. you have to be capable of independant living to be there and she has needed 24-7 care for the last 4 months. I don't want to do this but she is so pigheaded and selfish about this. She has become confused and extrememly demanding. I am starting to resent her attitude which is something I have never done before. She is my husbands MOM and one of my best friends. I just can't do it anymore...

Same exact thing has been happening with my MIL. last week she was declining , this week she is eating like a trucker and sitting out enjoying the sunshine.It is very confusing sometimes. Sorry, I am no help but lots of prayers will be going your way.

How's her blood work? My MIL suffered confusion and irratibility when her calcium levels elevated.

so sorry that you have to go through this. I'll be praying for your peace and for your son and family. hugs

I understand the feeling of helplesness. It's hard because we have no control over it. I have found that talking about it with my MIL and family and getting as much info as possible helps me deal with things. I am learning to control the things I can and do the best with things I can't. Your mom doesn't expect you to fix this for her. Just be there to hug her and hold her. Moms cancer grew really fast as well and then things stabalized then another bad spurt would come and she would stabalize again but wouldn't recoup to the point she was at before the "spurt". You might want to talk to your mom about getting a single dose of radiation for palliative measures. It really made mom alot more comfortable. My mom in law is also my best friend

Shanna so sorry you have to deal with this. My MIL was diagnosed last spring and refused all but one treatment of radiation. This controlled the bleeding and made it easier for her to breathe etc. It is really hard to accept when a parent refuses treatment. Our instinct screams out to us to fight with everything we've got. The best way to deal with it is to try and accept her decision as quickly as you can and then support her with all your strength. It helps is you are able to discuss her issues openly with each other. Don't set timelines it depends on so many different factors. The progression of the deseaase depends on many things such as which lung is affected, her general health, treatment , etc. she may feel weakness in her right arm ,pain in the bones of her back, nausea, weightloss, it all depends on the individual. I asked the same questions you have and have found a great deal of information from reading others posts. The big thing is for you to realize that you are not alone. Others may be able to give more insight if you can give some details as to the placement of her cancer and any test results etc. Big hugs and prayers for you Jen Tip : recently I have been making instant pudding made with half and half cream rather than milk and I add in carnation instant breakfast. mom is able to eat about 1200 calories a day , extra this way.