Beckie

Hi, I haven't been online for awhile. I have a question, my mom is still in bed. She still isn't eating much and is very shakey. We go to fox chase on the 22nd but, she was seen by her radiologist the end of may. He said, this is something that happens to 5% of people who receive brain radiation. She is getting tpn through her port every night and the physical therapist comes twice a week. Has any one else experienced anything like this. Her oncologist said he thought radiation pneumitous (?sp). Her radiologist said no it is the other thing and of course my dad can't remeber the name. My sister and myself are going to the doctors with them from now on. We started too in the beginning but when everything looked to be ok we stopped. Neither one of us live near philly so it is time off ect.. not that our mom isn't worth it because she is, we just thought it was ok for my dad to handle. This has been very hard on evryone involved. I am just looking for some help. She had the preventive cranial radiation and everything went down hill... I don't know what to do. We stopped the dehydration by getting her admitted just days into the not eating or drinking. Now she is drinking but really has no appetite. I am very scared. Sometimes i am ok other times I am really not ok. There just seems to be no answer. Just recently my dad told us he was under the impression my moms cancer had gone to her liver, my sister and I immediately call the Dr. Here my dad had walked around for two months thinking my mom had cancer in her liver and they had said they saw something but need to look futher. It isn't cancer. She has apparently had this most of her life because even she knew that it was there. Her home health nurse isn't very much help. She had said to me that she has mets to the liver. When I asked where she was getting this she told me she had spoken to the dr. When we spoke to the dr., he said he doesn't even know her. He speaks to the office and would not give dx to her anyway. I do believe we know what everone else knows now. I think my moms dr is a wonderful man and I do trust him, he has not lied to us even when it was very hard to tell the truth to us. He told us this is terminal, we just refuse to believe him. Not that we don't trust him but we have other Ideas in mind. My mom is 58 and I am 33, not ready to lose her. Too many grandchildren, Now is when I need her the most. I really miss her. We don't burden her with our problems anymore, she has enough to handle but I MISS HER. I know I am being selfish but I really do want my momma back. Talk about a roller coaster ride. My family has been through so much. Her face is also really swollen. As far as I knw, she isn't on any steriods. I think if she took steriods it would probably help but they had done so much damage to her she doesn't want any more. Please anybody with advise or thoughts even if I am not going to like the answer. I haven't liked any of this so far. I just don't understand and I am not a stupid person, although things have changed. Stress does aweful things in your life. I hate this cancer. So rapping up, if any one can help, I am in great need. Thank you for atleast listening....

I am asking for prayer for my entire family. My mom was dx'ed with limited small cell aug 05. Since then my entire family has taken a beating. My sister needs prayer because her marriage broke up. My grandmother is 90 years old and is caring for her daughter, her only child that has LC and is so afraid my mom will go before her. My dad which is ten years older than my mom (69) is in need of two knee replacments and is the primary care giver. My sister lives about an hour away and isn't able to be here. I live in the same town. My husband lost his job and it ended up that he took a job closer to home but making a lot less money and we are trying to help my mom and dad deal with the financial hardships of cancer. I have gained about 50 pounds, I myself quit smoking right before we found out it was lc. Otherwise I would never had been able to get through. I can't believe I let myself get this heavy. My family and I need lots of prayer please. My mom, if you were able to read any of my posts, has radiation pneumonitis, she is still in bed. We will be working on a year of sickness now and she is very disgusted. I can't blame her at all. We try to do everything she wants, even my kids spend there sat. sitting with her so she has something else to do. They just do that, I have really great kids and they sure do love there grandmother. We all had a panic attack when we found out what was happening. She is the beauty of our family. Jesus has always been the center but she holds us together. I let fear come in and it hasn't left yet. So please pray for us. I have become a person I don't even recognize. I know that we have an awesome god and that he promises healing for those that ask, but I get scared. What would we do if something does happen to her? Things have already changed, the dynamics of my family is different now, but my mom will always be my mom. Today when someone I hadn't seen for a few months ran into me, she just couldn't get over how much weight I put on. The first thing I did was call my mom and cry hysterical. Telling her "see I told you I was going to get fat if I quit." Of couse I told her not to worry, I am not going to smoke again.... I promised her I would months ago and I won't break that promise. Besides I would only be a fat smoker then. What would that get me? That is what I mean, That is what my mom does. She tells me I am beautiful and I will lose the weight. She tells me how much she loves me and is so proud of me. That is my mom, I love her and need her so much. Thank you for listening I hope you pray for us. Especially my mom please. Beckie Remember " When prayers go up, Blessings come down".

I realize that everyone is different. My mom just finished her cranial radiation the 2nd week of Feb. She is still in bed. She now has radiation pneumonitis. It just has to work its way out. She is tried all the time and gets her nutirents through her port. She has actually gain weight that way. This is fairly common but not something they talk about. My mom gets a little confused but nothing scary. Just keep a good eye on his hydration. She was so sleeply she did want to eat and then she started coughing and vomiting from the pneumonitis. Going through the dehyration thing with the chemo, our general dr was more than happy to get her liquid. They then decided to do the nutirents because she still wasn't eating. There are a variety of thing that happen do to treatment. As long as you understand the side affects. Am I tring to say don't do it? Not at all. Our onc said there would be no choice if it were his own mother or sister, daughter or wife so I say prevention works. Just watch though. I have a feeling that the pci had alot to do with the pnuemonitis. I will be praying for you and your family. Your dad will do just fine but keep asking questions. Being in the dark doesn't help anyone. Take it from me(first hand). Beckie

Thank you all for your kind and wonderufl words. My mom got her dx today of (forgive the spelling), radiation pneumonitis? They said it is common and it just has to run it's course. No big deal. I can't believe they said that. Tell that to my poor mom who is still in bed, can eat and shakes because she has no srenght. She is getting liquid food? through her port. If you know anything about this I would appreciate insight. I also wanted to say Thank you for offering your time to me, by telling me I can talk to you any time makes me feel better. Once I get to a place where I have some time other than online time, I will take both of you up on that! Thanks again... Beckie

Hi, I have posted before but my problem still continues. My mom is going on 1 month of not being huger. She isn;t sick to her stomach and is no pain. She just can't eat. Just right! Any way, she when in march for her 3 month check, she is still in remission. She was dx in aug of 2005 with small cell limited. she finished her treatment in feb the first few weeks. That included the prev. crainal rads. She was ok they took her off the steriods anf now this is what happens. She is having a little trouble breathing. I think it sounds like pneumonia. They did a cat scan on her last friday. My dad finally called and they said oh we are very sorry but we lost her results. They have been resent but still no answer. In church God told me (hope your not thinking oh she is crazy!) But he does talk to me sometimes not as offena s I would like though. He gave me the over whelming feeling that she is going to get better. He said give her to my I will fix her. Actually he just said "she will be fine". I just understand the rest. Has anyone else ever dealt with this type of side effects. Last Monday she went to her onc and he said everything looks fine as far as cancer. She is still in remission. I do have another question. In the begining my mom asked what this means and he said it is termial. Has anyone else been told that ? I just read where Don is cured. I am jumping for joy for him and his family but how do I get her there? I hope this makes sense. All I want to do is sleep and I need to good to bed. Thank you for all your help. I really need it. I love my mom, I can't even think about her not being with us. She is the glue in our structure. We all need her. I am very afraid. I appreciate all your responses. Even just understanding helps, ya know.... My M.O. Name: Beckie, married a long time to a man whom is truly my best friend and has certainly proven himself through all of this, I love him more than life, I am 33 years old, 3 children 2 girls ( I am gray) they are beautiful, 1 son who is the light of my life , a older sister who is also my very best friend, a grandmother (my moms mom) who, god bless her is going to be 90 this year and she is the queen of our family. Our rock and guidance, just an incredible, awesome woman that I am so blessed to say is mine. I have parents that are more in love today than the day they married ( 42 years ago). Have always been that way and I admire them so much. I truly believe they are the most respected and loving people in my life and my sister and I have been brought up with the cinderella complex (god bless my husband) we are princesses. I love my family more than anything and my thought was we were all going to be together forever, I also have nephews and neice's that are just as precious. Our family needs her, I just need god to see that. Pray he does. Thank you!

I am elated with joy for you. God is an awesome god and he puts everything under his foot, it may hang over our head but it is always under his foot. I love to hear of the wonderful things our jesus does. You are a miracle, you are not just your families miracle but ours as well. You are doing exactly what god wants you to. Help others spread the good word and show the love of our lord. Remember we have already won the battle, he has crushed the devil (he was the one to bruise his head) Our lord and saviour can and does answer every pray. I challenge all of you when in doubt start a list of all your prayer requests and mark them off when they are answered. The answeres aren't always what we want but they are always what is best. I go through a lotof different emotions but the one thing I have realized about faith, the more years in, the stronger we stand in faitha nd on the promise of our lord. You know, he is the same today as he was hundres of years ago. We are the ones that change. He LOVES US more than we know or can even fathom. This is such awesome news!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please remember what I have said because there maybe a day that I need someone else to give it back to me. My mom is still unable to eat, she is receiving nutrients at night and no one has answered us as to what the heck is happening to her. She is very weak and I do get discouraged but today, Jesus promised me better days for her. I believe he wouldn't bring her through all of this to have it end when she hasn't seen better days. My Dad the strongest Man I know and best christain dad anyone could ever have has just continued to stand frim on his promise and is our rock. I will be praying for all of you tonight....... Much Love \ Beckie

I am fairly new to this message board but I do want to stress, My mom had swelling in her ankle and tops of her feet. She had two blood clots and need to go on blood thinners. They were deep vein thrombosis. I hope this helps. The general consensis is get to the dr. Hope this helps and I too will be praying for you and your family.

Thank you for the wonderful welcome to your site. That is one thing I have found about LC patients and their family members, we are all one big family now. When one hurts, we all hurt. I think that is a true blessing in life. My mom had asked that I try to find out if any woman had to take steriods and if so did they suffer with the facial beard hair? I truly believe this has been one of the hardest things for her to deal with. She expected hair loss, but not beard hair growth. How do you get rid of it? Of course this whole thing has been extremely hard on her body. I consider what was done and it makes me cry. If I could have done it for her I would have in a heart beat. Of course I get yelled at for saying such a silly thing. She says, "I am your mother, do you think I would let that happen to you!" This is one thing I believe I could help her with. I really think she would benifit from a support peer too but she keeps telling me when she feels better. Do you think I should try to find someone for now? She doesn't need it when she feels better, she needs it for now when she feels really crappy. Right? I know she hates talking about it and probably hasn't really come to terms about it yet, I want to help. I just believe if she had someone who really I mean really understands her fear. She is a strong christian woman who in this moment I believe feels as though her faith had been tested and she didn't pass. I know she did but it is all inside and I don't always have the right words.... I wanted to say also that I will be praying for all of your too. My mom has tried stomach medication already. They want to look to see what is really happening. I got scared at first but then realized it is probably a side affect from chemo and better days are still ahead. Thank you for your help. Beckie

My mom is only a few weeks ahead of yours. She is experiencing much of the side effect listed. She is going to have a scope check the condition of her stomach and when I asked how normal this is, if it is normal at all I was told it is common. This is when we may start to see the side effects of the treatment itself. Hang in there. I am so sorry for you too. It really sucks to have this happen to our mom's. I will pray for your mom and your family. I will also pray for you. It is hard to be strong. We all understand that..... If I can help let me know. Some of the thing you will be going through, I might be able to help.

Hi everyone, My mom was dx with small cell lung cancer in Aug 2005. The dr who told us gave us little to no hope. She is now 59 and truly my life. I am 33, have a husband, 3 children a wonderful father and mother. I also have an older sister who is my best friend too. When we found out that my mom has LC our world came crashing down. The fear and sorrow was almost to much to take. I have only witnessed my dad cry a few times in my life and the day we were told how bad it was he sobed. I saw fear in my mom's eyes and can honestly say that was the hardest day of my life. She is now in remission. No sign of cancer. She just had her first 3 month check-up following all treatment and everything looks clear. She is sick to her stomach and doesn't want to eat again. That really concerns me but what a journey this has been. I am a much better person today that I was 7 mnths ago. What first happened was in july my mom became sick. She was treated for an upper resp. infection and it didn't go away. When we heard her cough change everyone became nervous. She was about a pack a day smoker. (me too). My sister and I talked and thought it would be good if I told my mom I would quit smoking with her to try to make the cough better. I later found out my sister was pretty sure my mom had cancer at that point. She wanted me to stop so she didn't have to go through this with me. She is older ( by 6 years). I quit, my mom didn't and we found out it was SCLC. Our dr at the time was not from our country and wasn't very hopeful. Pretty much came out and said go home settle your affairs you aren't going to make it. We live in the pocono's in PA and our quality of dr's isn't the best. She is currently being treated in philly and also by our primary care dr. She has had cranial radiation, her radiation treatment to the lung area started the day after we meet with LC onco at fox chase. Twice a day for 15 days, she received chemo 3 days 6 hrs then 5 then 5 again of two different types of chemo. She was orignaly dx with extensive small cell but later changed too limited because it turned out to be only local. Her tumor was 7 x 7 cm I think and was outside the left lung. It has started to get into the breast bone but was killed with the radiation they had begun. When we had first talked with onco. we were told 9 to 12 mnths. That was extensive he then later said it had changed with different dx. My mom doesn't want to know so he never says anything around her. I don't want to know by have a sadictic need to know because everytime I find out I throw up, but I can't change my mind to just be in the dark either. I am a member of a online support group that has gotten me this far, I really give them credit they are wonderful caring people. I thought I was losing my mind a few times. I need you to know that I have a very strong faith in jesus. I was raised that way. When I say I truly believed nothing bad was going to happen in my family I mean it. How silly, 33 and thinking I would have my family forever. My mom's mom is still with us. She is 89 and helps to take care of her daughter. We were in such fear of losing her after the dx because my mom is an only child, my gram and my mom live next to each other " mother daughter house". She has been a rock through this. My dad firmly believes my mom is healed. She is and always will be his life. Anyone who meets my parents want to fine that kind of love. I have a wonderful family that I adore and the thought of one of them not being here kills my heart. She helps me with everything from do my shoes match to are the kids to sick and if they are will you please watch them so I can go to work..... The list can go on and on. I want you to know that it also includes come on mom lets me and you go to dinner or do you want to go to my sisters (just the two of us) and it can be like when we were going up just the 3 of us and dad...... We were having so much fun, my kids are old enough for me to go overnight with there dad at home with them. My sister is one of the coolest people I know and we all had a blast together. I don't want that to stop, I didn't want things to change. I just asked my mom last week to watch my youngest for 2 hours. She said I thought you were never going to ask again. I wish this pain would ease up. My heart is in constant pain. I don't want to mourn her because I still have her. I'm just not sure how to stop. That is my story. I am sorry it is so long, I have seen a few names I know from the other site. That is comforting, I just want you to know I Love my mom and wish more than anything I could fix her.