EastCoastLadi
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Posts posted by EastCoastLadi
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I can tell you that Carlton's oncologist was absolutely the best!....I had and still have the most respect for the man. If we had any questions, or problems we could call him... I remember when Carlton went into his coma, his onc. had spoken to my girls, he was so kind and understanding ( my girls were 11 and 9 at the time), he told them, if they have any questions or want to just talk to him, to call him at anytime....and Carlton really respected him immensely, I know he will always remember Carlton....
Grace
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Rich..
I'm so glad you're back home! Hey, I hope you're staying out of this oppressive heatwave we're having.......stay in, relax and have a cold drink!!
take care,
Grace
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(((Teri))))
.....here for you....
Grace
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Rich...
I know he's got that good "hardy" New England "stock"!!! Wishing him all the best and a speedy recovery!...
Grace
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He is gone
in GRIEF
(((Chris)))
......I'm very sorry about your step dad.....please know your mom and family are in my prayers today...
Grace
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(((Debbie)))
....my heart and prayers go out to you.......
Grace
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Lynn,
your situation with your husband hits so close to home for me. As you can read Carlton had SCLC and all that he went thru, he fought so hard, it's such a devestating cancer, it takes and takes and is so unforgiving. It is so incredibly difficult to watch someone you love so much deteorate and to be so helpless. I could write volumes on what is going thru my mind right now, but I want you to know you and your family have my prayers, and the most important thing right now is for Larry to be comfortable, that's what I wanted the most for Carlton, and in no pain. Please know you can PM me anytime if you need someone to talk to...
take care
Grace
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Debbie,
my heart is broken to hear about Alan, I know the most important thing right now is to get his pain under control. Please, I know in the midst of all of this, to try the best to take care of yourself. I know you're probably on autopilot right now and that is ok, let others, if they can help. please know you can PM me at any time. my prayers for Alan and you...
Grace
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Debbie,
I am so very sorry to hear about Alan. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with the both of you...
Grace
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....another birthday has past and you aren't here with us....we miss you and love you very, very much...
Grace
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(((Julia)))
my heart is breaking...I know Aaron had the strongest of wills, from all the words I read from him, courage, strength and dignity. I too know the pain of losing that special man you love. Please, please I want you to know, anytime you feel like you can't talk to anyone, I'm here, I know...my prayers and all my heart and soul go out to you, and your and Aarons' family.
Grace
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Midge
I am so very very sorry about Liz, it's so sad, and not fair, my prayers to you and your family
Grace
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Superbowl Sunday! ...last years' Superbowl, Carlton was in the hospital, he so wanted hot wings, so I made them, as close to the way he made them and took the girls and went up to the hospital to watch the game together.
He wasn't much into the game, neither was I, the Patriots weren't there....so it was easy to lose focus. I think Carlton was just glad to have us there. He still was a little unsteady on his feet, but was walking....me not to far behind or beside him.
But today!...hell..all of this Football season!! The Pat 18 and 0!.....oh how we loved to watch the games together on TV, just him and I...hoopin' and hollarin' giving each other high fives for the TO's!!
Carlton would of LOVED! to watch the Patriots this year!....as much as I've so enjoyed this football season and in a few minutes going to watch the BIG game....there still is this sadness of him not being here....sitting with me..eating his hot wings...drinking a beer....cheering on the Pats!...
Good luck Patriots!
*** Hey Carlton ---- I hope you're watching!!
(luv ya babe!!)
Grace
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(((Katie)))
lots of big hugs and prayers....Katie, just you take care of yourself!....
grace
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A year ago, Carlton, the girls and myself would be going to one last function as a family together. I was the girls' music recital. My oldest, 12 plays cello, my youngest 10, plays the violin.
Last year, this recital was going to be special, my oldest had a solo and it was my youngest first recital. I remember that day Carlton was not feeling well at all, I know all the meds, chemo, had worn him down so. I wanted him to go, i pleaded with him, the recital was down the street and if he had to leave at any time, I would take him home ( my mom and brother were going to be there).. he looked at me with tears in my eyes, I knew it was alot to ask for. Then my daughters asked daddy, they wanted him to go so badly. I knew he wouldn't let them down, he couldn't ( not in his eyes).
I remember getting there, he was weak, we sat in the balcony. I reminded him, if he wanted to go, anytime....when the girls came out on stage...they looked all around the hall, I know they were looking for daddy, when they saw us, no, when they saw him...their eyes lit up and big smiles on their beautiful faces. Then I saw his look, one of pride, of love, of no matter how he felt, he needed to be there..( perhaps he knew, I didn't want to face the reality at that time)....
my oldest did her solo, she was recognized publically, oh daddys' pride and then our youngest came out...her first time on the big stage...again, he was a proud daddy.
He made it through the day, I know now it took all this strength, physically and mentally.
If there is one thing that I can be happy about, is that he got to see his girls perform for one last time....
***Today was the girls' recital, no solos or first times performances...they were wonderful...I would love to think that Carlton was with us...
Grace
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Carlton,
...baby I haven't forgotten about you....never will..how do I fill that hole in my soul? don't know when the tears are going to stop. Oh I'm better with the tears..but I can't think of a day when I didn't cry about you.
...the girls are good, we reminise about you....there is laughter..you did some funny things...
....I'll never understand why you were taken from us, so soon...so unneccessary....I'll never find anyone like you....hell, I don't even have the time to look!...part of me wants to..but my heart can't, not yet.....
...I'm busy as all can be...you know...started law school...I know can you believe it!!!....I haven't even had my first day of classes and I'm already overwhelmed!!!!!!!
...by the way...the house is still standing....I fixed the roof...(finally!!!)....but still the house is way too much for me....I'm going to have to bite the bullet for awhile....I'll do what I can do....
...I love you, very much...always will....you're a part of me.....I look at the girls and see you....
next month...it will be a year...I can't believe it
your wife...."the wife
"Grace
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(((Nanci)))
you don't have to explain to me...I get it...please take care of yourself...I know the struggles...but just remember you have many friends here for you..
take care
Grace
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Deb
I'm so very sorry about Alan, I wanted you to know that Carlton had taken oral etoposide, in fact, he responded well to it. I know all the complications with this damn disease!!!!...Alan has taken alot of "crap" over the years, he's definitely a strong man!....my prayers go out to both of you...
take care,
Grace
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Chris,
I can't believe it has been a year, I miss him too!
Grace
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(((Aaron)))
I'm so sorry you are going thru all of this. I wanted to tell you about quinine, try some tonic water, I remember when Carlton had his bouts with neuropathy that he was told to drink tonic and or soda water because of the quinine might help in the neuropathy. It couldn't hurt...
wishing you all the best...
Grace
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Once again another month has passed, now the girls and I are faced with the holidays without Carlton.
These next 3 days are extremely emotional for me, first today, tomorrow being Thanksgiving and then Friday, which would of been our 14th wedding anniversary.
I know he is gone, I feel that in my bones and soul. The girls have been wonderful, they're so strong, daddy would be so proud of them.
Mom, on the other hand, well, I'm surviving, I have to. I still cry everyday, don't ask me if or when that will stop. The reality of just living is so difficult. Financially it's so damn tough. I'm working part time like before, but my job is not stable and I'm going to attempt to do taxes once again this tax season.
Health problems seem to hit my family like the plague. Yesterday my mom found out they found a nodule on her lung, it's small, and I've read enough here about nodules and I know she is going to be fine. I myself, have to go in for a biopsy of my thyroid for some problems, well like I've been saying, just add it on...
My grandfather is in the last stages of colon cancer, I saw him this weekend, we haven't spoken in over 3 years, ( lots of issues), but I told him, I loved him, all the anger is under the bridge. I know now he knows....
But even in the sadness, there are bright spots, my girls, my oldest did her first school play, she was wonderful and now has the "acting bug". My youngest, is smart as a whip!, but she has her moments of fear about life. I just keep reassuring her, I'm here for her.
Lastly, this January, believe it or not, I'm starting law school! What have I gotten myself into!! I'm starting off part time, but still the work load will be tremendous. I'm scared as all hell, and I told everyone, I'll be crying and threatening to quit every other week. But I can't, for some reason, this is my time to do it.
I wish Carlton was here to be a part of it. He was so special, one of a kind. Like those that we have lost, he didn't deserve to die, not when he did.
I wish all of you the best, and thank all of you for "listening" to me throughout all these days, months....now years....
take care,
Grace
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..it's difficult to believe Carlton has been gone for 8 months. somedays it seems like yesterday, other days like an eternity.
...I read about so many who have gone after him and my heart goes out to all of you who have lost...
...there are so many things going on now with me, perhaps when I have my mind in "order" I will post...
please take care....
Grace
..ps....Carlton I still miss the F*** out of you!!!!
"
Remembering Darryl
in GRIEF
Posted
Chris,
thank you so much for remembering Daryl, oh you know I remember his so well, he had the same type of cancer as Carlton (sc-ex).....he always was so upbeat and inspiring....I remember when he passed I was so sad......he definitely is missed by me....
Grace