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MnMom

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Everything posted by MnMom

  1. Along with everyone else, I agree that you certainly did the right thing. Your MIL may not see it but her best interests really are being met by someone other than yourself. You do have to take care of yourself or you won't be any good to others around you who need you as well. Unfortunately, there comes a time when you do have to make a hard decision and you should be applauded for doing so. You did give her a choice of hospital or pallative care and she did make the decision, while it may not have been the one you chose (pallative setting). She may decide in a short while that she would rather be in the other setting as hospitals are not such great places to be cared for long term. Good Luck and stay strong in your decision.
  2. Thanks for the information Randy...I will pass it along to her docs.
  3. Great news on the MRI! How old is your dad Cindy? Some of his symptoms could be related to the chemo. Does he have any other health issues like diabetes? T My mom is going through the same thing! Trying to get her to understand that she needs twice as much water as she thinks she needs is hard. Cindi is right, juices are a great alternative and provide the liquid as well as calories. How about slushies? You could freeze some juice and then blend in a blender. If he likes coffee, gradually cut back on the caffeinated stuff by doing a half/half type of thing until its all decaf...yes it is sneaky but we do what we can for our loved ones. Good luck, I keep asking my mom how much she drinks and it does get old but we do it because we care.
  4. Barbara- your husband was fortunate that the rheumo doc caught the symptoms. I think what happened with my mom is that she had the symptoms, looked it up on the internet and realized what she had and didn't go in because she was scared. Anyway, I am so glad that it went away for him....
  5. Hi Janine- My mom went through the same thoughts when faced with treatment. Didn't want it but she did change her mind. Has she seen others go through chemo and didn't like what it did to them? I know my mom was the same way with the radiation, didn't like what it did to my Grandma 20 years ago. What you can do is talk to her about how treatment has changed and how they can do so much more to minimize the side effects. In the end, the only thing you can do is support her decision...as hard as it may be. I wish you luck and believe me, the people here care about you and what is going on with you. Keep us posted.
  6. You are not alone in your anger! As Linda pointed out, I posted something similar except it is my dad who won't quit smoking around my mom who has lung cancer. Others gave me some good links and they will help you out as well. With my dad, he claims (and now I wonder if my mom didn't perpetuate it) that the damage is done and it doesn't matter. Have you talked to her doctor about it? Sometimes when we are too close, we tend to get 'harpy' and drive them further into their stubborness. Have you had a chance to tell her how scared you were when she was diagnosed and what you went through at that time and are afraid of what will happen if it recurs? I don't think it is any different with alcohol/drugs or tobacco, they are all addictive and destructive. I would seriously think about walking out each time she lights up. Don't say anything derogatory or demeaning, just let her know that you cannot be around it for your own health and leave. I wish you luck and just know you are not alone. Tina
  7. Another thought....is Mike taking any pain meds? I remember that oxycontin can cause hearing loss...this was what Rush Limbaugh had trouble with.
  8. Hi Lindy...I am sorry to hear that Mike's hearing is now causing grief! Has the doctor said anything about it being the mets that might have caused this setback? Depending on the location of the mets, it can indeed have an affect on the hearing. There is a test other than the "what ear can you hear this high pitched ring"...it is called an Auditory Evoked Response test. It is usually done in Neurology departments where they do EEG's. It is a simple test where they will put a few electrodes on the head and have the patient listen to a series of clicking on one ear and white noise in the other. Then they will swap the sounds to test the other ear. What this does is check the integrity of the auditory nerve. They will look at 5 different waveform times...this can help in determining where the issue lies by comparing the time it takes for the wave to occur vs normal subjects...just a thought if you want a little more of an answer than its the radition. Good luck at the doc's this week....I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Tina
  9. My mom was a smoker prior to her diagnosis... Anyway, I really believe it is selfishness that my dad hasn't tried to take it outside. Snowflake...I like the way you think! The analogy of the window really hits home and I think I may change it around a little that would make him really think...like taking a baseball bat to his precious restored car...Maybe putting it in a way he can understand might be helpful. Thanks to everyone and their advice...I will get around to do the profile this weekend!
  10. We have tried the reasoning tact with him and he maintains that the damage is done already and what good will it do. When she came home from the hospital he did start to smoke outside...it didn't last long...Our family has tried to be supportive and non-lecturing but it is getting hard. With the weather getting nice, I don't see why he can't go out on the deck or out to his garage (which is nicer than a lot of houses!) to smoke. I will go to those posts Joanie...maybe I can find something that would be convincing! Oh well, onward and outward!
  11. Does anyone have any links or information on what are the detrimental effects of second hand smoke on a patient who has advanced LC? My dad, despite seeing what my mom is going through and our pleas...he WILL NOT stop smoking in the house around my mom! It is so darn frustrating that he can't see the forest through the trees! He says the damage is done and I keep telling him that it affects her immune system and decreases her ability to fight the cancer and stay healthy! He has an appt with the family doctor on Monday and I am so close to calling him and asking doc to talk to him about it. Maybe he will listen to him. I just want to scream at him when I am talking to him on the phone and I can hear the telltale sigh of him blowing the cigarette smoke out! His only excuse is that he has been smoking for 50 years and its hard...DUH...If it was easy, more people would not smoke! He hasn't even tried... Thanks for listening to my rant!
  12. MnMom

    question

    A suggestion would be to try and elevate your feet for a short period every hour if you can...this helps to keep the fluids from pooling in the legs as much. I hope it helps!
  13. Good luck Barb, keep us posted as to how it goes. I think it shows your strength in how hard you want to fight...keep it up!
  14. After reading so many postings on this board and sharing the success stories with her, we are working our way to a second opinion! Thanks to everyone who has shared their story!!! We should have all of her records by Monday next week and will go from there.
  15. Thanks Randy....She has seen one oncologist at St. Lukes in Duluth and since her discharge has seen him once three weeks ago, they haven't even suggested a follow-up. Another alternative is certainly SMDC Cancer Care Center but the politics for a referral from the SLH center to SMDC is unreal....you thought the republicans vs democrats was bad! Anyway...if I can't get my mom to agree to Mayo they are the next best thing. I used to work for that organization and they do have good people there as well. My mom is a stubborn finn/polish woman and if I could, I would put her over my shoulder and bring her in myself! Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and prayers...it is helpful for me and my family knowing that there are so many prayers out there!
  16. My mom was recently diagnosed with NSCLC at age 58 and her first symptoms were swelling of the feet and pain as well as clubbing of the fingers. Of course she didn't go in for a year, until she became so dehydrated and sick that she had to be brought in by ambulance. Anyway, I now know that the pain and swelling is due to HPOA, not because of the doctors...they never could explain it...but because of the internet! Anyway, has anyone else had a loved one deal with this and how can we make the pain better? They have tried tylenol, darvocet, oxycontin and now lortab with little results. I have read that the tumor needs to shrink to help the pain but radiation doesn't seem to be doing the job and she is too weak for chemo. Any insight or ideas? This is really affecting the quality of life for her.
  17. Hi Sunshineys I am so sorry for what you are going through. My mom started out saying she didn't want treatment either (hers is advanced). She did finally relent and finishes with her last radiation treatment today. The doctors are not going to do any scans until possibly next week to see if the tumor has gone down in size but we are not hopeful. Give her some time and information from boards like these and maybe she will see that treatment varies with each person. Like Don said, you need to support your mom regardless of the choice she makes. Believe me, it is the hardest thing to do but it will make her feel better knowing that you respect her wishes.
  18. Hi everyone...My mom, age 58 has been diagnosed with NSCLC with mets to the lymph nodes and adrenal gland and has been horribly sick with intermittant fevers and diarrhea for the last 2 months. In hindsight, she has had symptoms for over a year but ignored them against my admonitions that she go in. Anyway, I am glad to have found this site! I am hoping to find some answers that are not coming quickly enough for me. My mom is in a small community in Northern MN and I do NOT trust the doctors. Am trying to talk her into a trip to Mayo for a second opinion, not for a cure but a treatment to improve the quality of life that she has left. Best wishes and prayers go out to all of you! Tina
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