lisag

Hi Pat- Couldn't help but notice the Bears shirt Brian is wearing in your photo. My father passed away in October, and was a big Bears fan. Everytime they play I think how dads up there running with Walter and maybe, just maybe, has contributed to the winning season. I know it's petty and stupid, but their winning season is helping me thru. I guess know I'll think your husbands up there helping them too!

I am so sorry for your loss.

I was shocked at how bad Christmas was for me. I lost my dad on 10-29, and Christmas day was worse than the day he died, the day of his memorial, or the day we buried his ashes. It was just horrible. We went and did the big family thing--about 20-25 of us--and I felt so alone. It was horrible. My husband drove my mom, brother and I around. We were back at my moms and I looked at the clock--it was 12:04 am...we had made it thru Christmas. My brother said, on Christmas night, that we have three choices now. 1--find a way to hate my dad, to be angry, to blame, then maybe it won't hurt so bad. 2--try to forget, repress, etc... which would involve not facing this nightmare. 3--take the high road, go slow, remember, grieve. It's the option we're all taking but it is really the hardest one. God Bless you all, and here's to a better 2007!

I am so sorry. I lost my dad less than 2 months ago. It's very tough. Just make sure you and your brothers stick together thru this. I have 2 also, and I learned I needed them more than I ever thought I would.

All I can do is send my best wishes your way, and share a bit with you about my experiences with my dad. Chemo sucked, radiation did too. But we had 7 months we would not have otherwise had. Most of the time he was able to maintain a "normal" quality of life. The beginning and the end were the toughest parts for him, it was almost like his body got used to it. In the end, the last few weeks, his quality of life greatly diminished. But we were able to talk, to reminisce, able to share our dreams for the future. There were times I wondered if we were doing the right thing, but looking back I know we were. I hope that, as the days go on, things will get better for her. She was only on day 2 at the time of your posting. The doctors may consider adjusting it or giving stronger meds to reduce the side effects of the chemo. Hang in there; I truly believe that as family members...if the sick person wants to fight it's our job to stand by their side thru it.

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. If there was something I could say to make it all better I would. Since there is not I will just send my condolences. Lisa

My father passed away on 10-29-06, seven months to the day from his diagnosis with SCLC. He passed in the hospital, while holding my mothers hand. My brothers were there as well (I went home to shower, so I missed the moment but had spent the entire weekend with him). Without an autopsy, we'll never know for sure but have been led to beleive that he had a lung infection (probably not the cancer) that wasn't responding to treatment (probably due to all the cancer treatments). His scans from 9-11 days prior to his death came up clear. Dad was cremated, per his request. The wake was on 11-3, we're picking a cemetary plot 11-11 and hope to bury his remains on 11-18. Thru most of his battle, he was very active and doing well. In the last 2 weeks there was a swift decline and suddenly he was in pain. We opted for a morphine drip for the last 24 hours or so, to keep him free from pain. He passed in peace. He's with friends and family who have passed before him. I am sad, but I had seven extra months with him. Time to swap stories, time to laugh, time for him to teach me how to change the brakes on my car! I really believe each one of those days was a bonus for us. Please, please, please...spend time with your loved ones. If it's hard to look at them (bruises, oxygen tubes, etc...) suck it up and do it anyway. Make peace with your loved ones if you have to. Let them see you smile, let them know it's okay for them to let go when they have to. Love them. It is the knowledge that I did all these things that makes it okay. Peace- Lisa

Hi Shelly- I was so saddened to read your post, as I have felt that way from time to time for much of my life. I genuinely hope that that was venting...that you hit bottom...that you can start to come back up again. I am not particularly religious--never have been--and words of faith and God do little for me. I wish I could say different but it is true. Please find something for yourself. I take spinning classes 1-2 days a week. On Wednesdays I am there from 6-7. Nobody calls me...everything else can wait...that is MY time. It has helped me tremendously. I close my eyes and push myself as hard as I can go...I sit in the back and let it all out while I work out. At first my instructor thought I was crazy but now he understands what that class means to me. I am fine then from Wed. night until about Sunday night. Then I start to lose it again. So I signed up for a Saturday am class as well, hoping that'll help me pull thru until Wednesday. My point is, find something for yourself and it will help other things fall back in place. Do something constructive....if you have anger to let out, let it go in a positive manner rather than by turning into a raging lunatic (I've been there too, that's for sure!). Hang in there; we'll all get thru this crap one way or another. Lisa

Please ask for a bone scan. My dad was in remission for 3.5 weeks when he got a nasty headache. Turns out he had 4 nearly-undetectable lesions on his brain. Treatment of that led to a whole body scan...turns out he has a small lesion on his hip bone as well. So they're treating that too. He was having a little bit of hip pain too. Dad must be hyper-sensitive as the lesions are all so minuscule...but they were detectible via scan. Please ask your dads doctors to order one. Better to be safe than sorry. At least then you'll all sleep a little better. His team of doctors believes that cancer (even SCLC) can be a manageable, chronic disease. There is so much out there to treat it these days, that they are just going to keep trying. His radiation oncologist was telling my family that it is the National Institute of Health’s goal to treat cancer as a manageable, chronic disease by 2015 (or something like that) but many proactive doctors see it that way already. Just keep fighting, is all they can say. Be aggressive. If you need or want something, or if things seem a bit off, ask for the help / scans / etc.. Knowing is better than wondering, no matter what the outcome. As one of them put it...Once you've been down this road, ignorance is no longer bliss.

Hi Terrye- My father went thru the same chemo as your mom. It really wasn't bad for him. The first round was actually the toughest for him...feeling alone. Then he started "popping into" the infusion center with coffee cakes, etc... from time to time when he was there for radiation. By the time of his 2nd round, they knew him and loved him. Getting to know the nurses was the best thing for him. They chatted him up during the long days, celebrated the victories and got him thru the setbacks so far. He gets teary-eyed when he talks about them. They also worked with my mom to make sure my dad was eating enough, staying hydrated, etc... If you can get a nurse on your side, you're mom will be in good hands. Good luck. I don't post often lately but I think of and pray for everyone here often. Lisa

Kathleen, I am sick reading this. Excuse me for saying this, but just because you were the one with enough balls to sit with your parents, face the facts, and help make decisions, does NOT make you responsible for the outcome. If you can find any release for this stress, please use it, as it won't go away. The lack of sibling support is horrible, and I hope everyone comes around, but in the meantime you just keep "doing what you need to do"...put your efforts into your mom and hang in there!!

Hi Char--I won't say this is "normal" becuase I am not sure, but my father went thru that too. He's in remission from SCLC right now. Especially in the beginning of his treatment, when so much was going on, he was a lot like your mom is now. It got better. I think for him it was just that everything was so overwhelming, it took him longer to process. I wish the same for you and your mom. Lisa

Wow, I am sorry that you are being asked not to visit your dad. When I was a child, and my great-grandmother was sick, it was often too hard on her for us to visit (there are 3 of us kids). I remember driving several hours just to visit with her for an hour or two. Literally, we'd drive all day. It wasn't fun at the time but looking back I am so glad my parents made that tough decision. If there is any way you can swing something like that, do it. It may mean the world to you and your kids someday. I missed out on how old your kids are, but if they are old enough to grasp this it may be a good life lesson for them too, as it was for me. Lisa

So sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you. Lisa

I do two "big" trips a month. 1 small trip each week for milk, yogurt, etc... I'll drop in another time or two if needed... Lot's of sandwiches in the summer = lots of trips to the store for fresh deli goods. I live in town, so I ride my bicycle to the store, rather than driving. All those little trips are probably good for me in that regard!

I like this one. I was just at a wake for a friend of mine, and came across some pictures of the "Schitt Family" from a halloween party he was at some years ago. He and his buddies all dressed up in brownish-black sheets with signs around their necks declaring their names--Jack Schitt, etc... Sounds like I have an idea for this years party!

My parents dog flame, a lab, stayed by my dads side all the time. She's always been his dog as he's been retired (so home all the time) for the last few years. But she was so lost when he was in the hospital. When he's home along she sits with him (more than ever before). When my mom gets home or visitors come by, she takes a break. But as soon as the house is quiet, she's back at his side. Animals know when their people need them, that's for sure.

I am a huge animal lover. Dogs are the best--I grew up with a sheep dog, then a golden lab/retreiver mix. Now I have 2 cats--I prefer dogs but my husband are not home much and cannot give dogs the kind of life they deserve right now. When we have kids--we're getting a dog. I told my husband that in my life, they come as a package. Growing up we had an iguana. That was fun if only for the fear-factor!

I'll get some in. How much $$$ has been raised in the past? Just curious. Lisa

Love them!! Haven't been on any yet this year but I did go skydiving back in May. It was a birthday treat, but also one of those things I always wanted to do but never got around to. I agree that the wooden ones are the best---live the creaks and you can't beat the ride!

Thanks for responding so quickly. I figured I was just torturing myself...looking more into it than I needed to. I know he feels a bit "disappointed" in himself when he needs blood, wondering if he's doing something wrong, so I'm sure it will do him good when I can honestly say it is normal. Being my dad, he knows when I'm saying things just to make him feel better versus the honest truth! Take Care! Lisa

Hi--I was just wondering how common it is to get blood transfusions during treatment? My father needed 2 units prior to rounds 5 and 7 of chemo, due to low hemoglobins. His hemoglobins/RBC/WBC all drop the second week after chemo, and normall jump up by the time he's due again. But twice now they've decided to give him a boost via a donor. I'm hoping it is just to ensure chemo won't be delayed. The nurses/doctors say this is totally normal, but I haven't heard much so I thought I'd double check with you guys!! That's the only things that seems like a "bad sign" these days. The tumor is gone, weight is normal, appetite strong....but the blood thing has got me worried. Thanks!

walking down the aisle with my dad. dancing with my grandpa. laughing and smiling for probably 8 hours straight. when they opened the doors to the church, and I saw all those people, it was amazing. realizing everyone I loved was there (some looking down on me, smiling, since they were no longer with us). It was a wonderful day. 8 years later, looking back, I am so grateful that I was surrounded by so much love and support. Have fun at your sons wedding!!

Thanks for joining. It's always good to hear survivor stories! My dad was diagnosed w/SCLC on in March of this year. Although we already say he's a survivor, I cannot wait until we done with treatment and further out from this thing. Lisa

Love it. i keep this tucked inside my daytimer and get a little laugh when sitting in boring meetings at work!