Remembering Dave

gosh, Peggy, that is AWESOME, an I bet he IS better, look at how well everyone else is doing on it! again, why can't there be something like Tarceva for SCLC? But I am still thrilled for all you NSCLC Tarceva takers, yipee! Karen

This is a stupid question and totally beside the point, but how old is your mother, getting her first mammagram? The second thing is, yes, lots of people have been called back for a second mammagram or a sonogram and even a biopsy (which I think is usually a needle biopsy - not very comfortable but not surgery either) and have it come back benign. I think Sandy S here on the board, a SCLC survivor, went through that fairly recently. And I would bet that anything looking slightly suspicious on the film of a cancer survivor would get an even closer look. My mom is a breast cancer survivor of six years. It was detected on a routine mammagram when she was in her '60's and was the size of "grains of sand". She had the sonogram, then the needle biopsy, and unfortunately it was malignant, but fortunately caught so early that all she needed was a lumpectomy, radiation, and not even chemo. The onco doc said because it was caught so early and because she was post-menopausal chemo was unnecessary. So tell her not to worry. And please keep us posted. God Bless, Karen

I LOVE the guardian angel idea! And I will tell you again, you sure don't look old enough to be a grandmommy, but you are going to make one wonderful, fun one! Congrats, and I hope for a smooth pregnancy and can't wait for Thanksgiving! Karen

Uncle Doug, I'm the caregiver - wife of a now extensive SCLC survivor - do you have a spouse or partner or some sort of strong support system? I think that really helps. If not, journaling is the best idea ever. Dave and I journal just by keeping a calendar/daytimer sort of thing, and it's really important when you're at an appt. and get asked "now, when did you have that such and such procedure?". My husband had the japanese protocol - cisplatin and CPT-11 (irronecan) and it didn't work - it was for a met he had in his right frontal sinus cavity (his first met which threw him out of remission from limited into the category of extensive) - the met went away, but that was most likely from the radiation to it. He grew other mets while getting the japanese protocol. I'm not a big fan of it, I read somewhere it works great with the japanese but not so well with causcasians, so might be a genetic thing. anyway, I'd definitely try to get the chemo and radiation together, it really seems to be key, limited or extensive. You have a great attitude - keep fighting, keep strong, keep researching (to make sure your docs are staying on top of everything) and don't be afraid to be a real partner and advocate for yourself in your treatment. God Bless and good luck, Karen

Hey, Sharlene, that was Cindi with the family problems. My immediate family has never abandoned me. well, my mom and dad haven't. anyway. I agree with Margaret, why didn't I think of that? even if he didn't have a stroke or some physical problem causing this, his own family doctor is THE best place to start. make an appt. and drag him there. and if he won't to, then I'd call the local mental health crisis center. My mother worked for years at the county mental health center, it served several counties, and they had a 24 hour 7 day a week crisis center. and it worked. keep us posted. and can you just get him to retire, in the meantime? that way, you too can spend more time together, hopefully take care of each other? Love and God Bless, Karen

Thank you all so much for your support. I cannot tell you how much your support has meant to me over the past week. Getting the chemo over a 5 day period made each day a little worse with fatigue and pain in the joints which are the only side effects I have had so far.........well a little stopped up but Senacot has been helping with that. Now I am looking forward to 2 weeks off with scans on Monday and the 11th. Miracles do happen and believe me I am fighting and praying for a miracle with the results from these upcomming tests but not being able to receive chemo for the past several weeks I am not really expecting one. We are still going through a pretty rough time here at Cacres so please keep the prayers comming. David C

I also want to add that Tarceva played a big role in how well Bill's wife is doing. But I would bet big money that Bill being such a strong advocate for his wife played just as big a role. It's ain't pretty, but it's got to be done. My hats off to you, Bill. God Bless, Karen

Cindi, it's really hard when it's your spouse, though. Sharlene needs her husband. And a big part of his problem could be how much he feels like he needs her. But it sounds so much like severe clinical depression to me. Not just how he's treating her, but how he's treating himself. I doubt your family was harming themself, and he is doing himself harm by not going to work, sittingin the chair all day, etc. He needs a good shrink and some drugs. Karen

There is nothing in this world that compares to the love of your little baby girl. I wish we lived closer together. I bet our little girls would have a blast playing together. David C

I want to clarify myself a little. True clincial depression is a medical problem - a disease - and the person suffering from it can't help having it any more than a cancer patient can help having cancer. But they can, however, get treatment for it, just like a cancer patient can get treatment for the cancer. and they are responsible for doing that. if they're not able to, family should do their best to get them help. but no one should ever blame a depression patient for having depression. they did nothing to bring it on any more than the cancer patient did. I speak personally. I suffer from a condition called dysthymia (sp?) which is a "low level" of depression a person walks around with their entire life, starting in young adolesence/childhood. It can be started by bad experiences like abuse. and not treating it, and most of it is not treated, later in life brings on clinical depression, especially when there is a tramatic life event to trigger it. The trauma Dave is going through right now is making me struggle with my own medical demons. I feel for Sharlene's husband in that I think he needs to get some medical help. NOW. Just want to clear that up. I don't think Sharlene's husband is having a pity party. I think he's sick and he needs help. Karen

crap, Sharlene, THIS IS BAD. I would expect and understand this type of behavior out of the cancer patient, but him? the man whom you are dependent? What did he say when you told him he was depressed? did he respond at all? Is HE 68, or is his father 68? If your husband is 68, can he at least retire so you can get those benefits and not lose your house? You are doing the right thing, if only for practical purposes, but he has got to pull himself out of his depression and be there for you. Plus, if he loses you, you will want to know I am sure that he will pull himself together and be OK, wouldn't you? God bless you my dear soul and keep us posted, Karen

I had to read this a few times to get it. and I got it, big time. It's really incredible. it's awesome. and I'm sincerely so very glad. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE SOMETHING LIKE TARCEVA FOR SMALL CELL? Karen

way too cute! I love it! Note to Curtis: BECAUSE you have a young child, always keep a change of clothing for her as well as yourself in the car! Karen

On a serious note, chemo can cause dizziness so I'm voting for that to be the cause, not brain mets. Funny, Becky, but we bought Mary Poppins recently and have been watching it, piecemeal. Faith is pretty enchanted by it. And I have been running the spoonful of sugar song around in my head alot lately. I would said "A can full of budlight makes the chemo go down" would be a quite catchy song! Karen

Beth, I got a PM from a dear friend on this board who shared some ideas on faith with me. and here's the thing. Faith is blind. Faith is the knowledge that whatever happens, you must put your trust 100% in God and continue. Faith is hanging on and believing, no matter what. It's not always about getting what you want, because getting what you want may not be necessarily God's plan. And who above just said not to grieve now? Was that Becky? I think I am, and I have been, grieving since we found out about Dave's multiples mets a month or so ago. And I guess that is where the conflict comes in. I can't grieve and fight and I can't grieve and be faithful to God. So I'm just going to stop grieving I guess and save it for later, hoping I won't need it later. Thanks for your wise words, Ginny, wise because unfortunately you've been there, done that. The thing is, I feel a little cheated right now. I want everything to be about Dave and I. But I can't. I still have to go to work every day. I am away from him eleven hours a day. I hate that. I want more time with him NOW. Alone. Just him and me. He's suggested we take some weekends away every now and then, just the two of us, when he's able, and I know that will help. Well, speaking of work, guess I'd better start doing some. Keep the discussion going, I respect everyone's opinion and there's at least a piece of what everyone says that really does help. God Bless, Karen

Frank, Frank, Frank!! Beer and Chocolate??!!??!? Thats enough to make me potholed just thinking about that combination although I must admit that I have never tried Bud Light and Chocolate together but I do know that my beloved Samuel Adams deffinitely does not go together very well with Chocolate. I also had a harder time with my 2nd round of chemo. Hang in there and lean with the swerves (avoid the potholes) Put on your suntan lotion (getting zapped) and keep your fists up (getting jabbed). My prayers are for an empty headed Frank with your upcomming CT. Just remember I have the monopoly for peas in the brain so you can't have any. David C

Bill, great news!!! I am so happy for you and your wife. As always prayers are going out to you and your wife. David C

What Kasey said. Karen

Summer, my deepest condolences. My heart is breaking for you. I'm so very sorry. Love and God Bless, Karen

how do you balance the excruiating fear of losing your spouse at the ripe ole' age of 40, yet keeping a positive attitude and fighting? I talk to God several times a day, asking for a healing for Dave, but how do I completely keep my faith while facing the reality that I may lose him? I feel like if I even think about bracing myself for this, I'm being unfaithful to my faith, so to speak. is this a weird question or what? Karen

p.s. please see Dave's post under General.

Ginny, I agree with you. I will do ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING to fight this thing with Dave. Of course that is nothing but selfish motivation because I can't stand the thought of living the rest of my life without him. But for the here and now, I hate to see him suffering and going through this torture day in and day out. Thanks everyone for your support. God Bless, Karen

Hello all. I received my third of five chemo doses for the week today. I can deffinitely feel it. I was feeling pretty good until today and then I woke up and my knees were hurting me again. It took a while to get going thanks to a few percocets. Don't know if we had posted that I had another brain MRI this past Saturday even though my neurosurgeon had just had one done two weeks ago. The Onc. scheduled this because I have been exhibiting some new symptoms. My toes and fingers have been getting more numb than usual and my chin is numb all the time now. Also last week I got real dizzy and fell up the stairs at our house. I scraped my arm up pretty good. I don't know if I passed out or just had a dizzy spell but if I did pass out then it was only for a breif instant. My Dad was right behind me and I got right back up so other than the scraped up road rash arm I really did not worry much about it but the Onc scheduled the MRI right away and well......I got the results today. Immediately after chemo My Dad and I met with my Onc. and it appears as if I have a new pea ( tumor? ) on the left side of my brain. The two on the right side are the same size as before but this one on the left is brand new. As for the numb chin he said that everybody's chin has a little hole in it and for some reason the cancer likes to settle in that chin hole. The Onc. has calls in to my Radiologist and Neurosurgeon to see what they want to do about the new pea in the brain and the chin hole. I have a Bone Scan and a Mandible x-ray (for the chin hole) scheduled for Monday April 4th. That should give us more insight into my chin hole and also tell us what may be going on in the mets to my spine and hips. I have been able to feel my back and hips lately, not exactly painfull feeling but I am more aware that I can feel the places it has spread. I have a CT scheduled for April 11 which will tell us of any further spread and also the status of the spot which showed on my liver. Needless to say this is not the news expected or hoped and prayed for. I ask that you keep my wife and family in your prayers. It is tearing me up to see how news like this effects the people I love and are so important in my life. I know it is difficult to get bad news but please remember that us who are fighting are still here and alive and wanting to stay alive and our wishes and needs need to be respected as much as the care givers feelings and needs. This is a very difficult time for all of us here , or else none of us would be here at LCHELP, and in the words of that famous L.A. poet Rodney King "Can't we all just get along?" OK, enough of that. Seriously folks, this is not good news here at Chapman Acres and we need all the prayers and support you can give. I have found it difficult to post lately but believe me I follow each one of you and you are all in my prayers daily. David C

Tami -NOTHING on the house yet, and not for a lack of lookers. got plenty of lookers, but no one offering to buy. lots of houses coming on the market in the area we want to move to, so I'm occupying myself checking them out. at least on the internet and doing "drive-bys" which Faith calls a "trip house." If I make any side trips, she knows the exact way home, she calls me on it "Mama, trip house?". I'm really not getting all worked up over any one particular house or anything, I am just having fun and doing my own market analysis! Addie, that sounds great. I'm thinking this is the way to go with Dave's chemo. however, everytime he steps foot in that onco doc's office there's a $20 copay, so he is balking at the idea of $100/week for chemo rather than one $20 copay. I think we shouldn't worry about it, his health is more important than $80. I mean, I KNOW things are tight right now . . . anyway, that's personal business I guess, he just seems so stressed over it and I don't think it's something we should be stressed about. Karen

Sorry the topotecan is not working. My husband is taking it now, it's his third chemo treatment since diagnoses two years ago. Addie is on it as well. He has a liver met and my mother has four liver mets (she has colon cancer) and it is my understanding you can't do radiation to the liver. I am curious about that, because Dave's cancer seems to have always responded well to radiation. Has anyone considering gamma knife for your mom's remaining brain tumor? Hang in there, Karen