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Remembering Dave

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  1. I wouldn't assume it's late stage because he's starting chemo soon. they may have been testing him and working on his diagnoses for some time, and keeping it quiet, appropriately so. Also, Dave was first diagnosed with LIMITED SCLC and they started chemo on him while he was still in the hospital, within just a couple of days, literally, of diagnoses. I suppose once it's clear what needs to be done often it just gets started.

    I'm going to post him some well wishes and mention the site as well. But mostly because I think he mentioned something about trying to deal with this or looking for support.

    I really hate to hear of anyone being diagnosed with any cancer.

    Karen

  2. gosh, Peggy, that is AWESOME, an I bet he IS better, look at how well everyone else is doing on it!

    again, why can't there be something like Tarceva for SCLC?

    But I am still thrilled for all you NSCLC Tarceva takers, yipee!

    Karen

  3. This is a stupid question and totally beside the point, but how old is your mother, getting her first mammagram?

    The second thing is, yes, lots of people have been called back for a second mammagram or a sonogram and even a biopsy (which I think is usually a needle biopsy - not very comfortable but not surgery either) and have it come back benign. I think Sandy S here on the board, a SCLC survivor, went through that fairly recently. And I would bet that anything looking slightly suspicious on the film of a cancer survivor would get an even closer look.

    My mom is a breast cancer survivor of six years. It was detected on a routine mammagram when she was in her '60's and was the size of "grains of sand". She had the sonogram, then the needle biopsy, and unfortunately it was malignant, but fortunately caught so early that all she needed was a lumpectomy, radiation, and not even chemo. The onco doc said because it was caught so early and because she was post-menopausal chemo was unnecessary.

    So tell her not to worry.

    And please keep us posted.

    God Bless,

    Karen

  4. I LOVE the guardian angel idea!

    And I will tell you again, you sure don't look old enough to be a grandmommy, but you are going to make one wonderful, fun one!

    Congrats, and I hope for a smooth pregnancy and can't wait for Thanksgiving!

    Karen

  5. Uncle Doug, I'm the caregiver - wife of a now extensive SCLC survivor - do you have a spouse or partner or some sort of strong support system? I think that really helps. If not, journaling is the best idea ever. Dave and I journal just by keeping a calendar/daytimer sort of thing, and it's really important when you're at an appt. and get asked "now, when did you have that such and such procedure?".

    My husband had the japanese protocol - cisplatin and CPT-11 (irronecan) and it didn't work - it was for a met he had in his right frontal sinus cavity (his first met which threw him out of remission from limited into the category of extensive) - the met went away, but that was most likely from the radiation to it. He grew other mets while getting the japanese protocol. I'm not a big fan of it, I read somewhere it works great with the japanese but not so well with causcasians, so might be a genetic thing. anyway, I'd definitely try to get the chemo and radiation together, it really seems to be key, limited or extensive.

    You have a great attitude - keep fighting, keep strong, keep researching (to make sure your docs are staying on top of everything) and don't be afraid to be a real partner and advocate for yourself in your treatment.

    God Bless and good luck,

    Karen

  6. Just seeing this, and waiting to hear on that test.

    I worked with a lady once who had a brain aneursym burst. She was rushed to the local big medical center and saved. She actually came back to work full time after about a year of therapy. She's doing OK now.

    My Dad had an aortic aneurysm once but that's different, although a tad more deadly I think. It was repaired and he is living happily ever after (well, as happily as he can with a Stage IV cancer patient).

    I am so very happy your Mom still has NED in her life, and I'm hoping the aneursym scare is just a scare.

    Hang in there, kiddo.

    Karen

  7. Dave's having a full body bone scan today and a close up x ray of his chin (his chin has been numb and the onco doc thinks he may have a met there).

    Prayers please for nothing more than what we already know about to show up on that bone scan (lower spine, pelvic bone, left hip which showed on the PET Scan).

    I fear that he's going to have mets all over the place. And that could possibly mean quitting time on the treatment (especially with the liver met and brain met). Please, dear God, our Father in Heaven, let Dave's mets be what we currently know about - and hopefully can heal through medical science and your mercy working through the doctors, chemo and other treatment.

    Karen

  8. Hey, Sharlene, that was Cindi with the family problems. My immediate family has never abandoned me. well, my mom and dad haven't.

    anyway.

    I agree with Margaret, why didn't I think of that? even if he didn't have a stroke or some physical problem causing this, his own family doctor is THE best place to start. make an appt. and drag him there.

    and if he won't to, then I'd call the local mental health crisis center. My mother worked for years at the county mental health center, it served several counties, and they had a 24 hour 7 day a week crisis center. and it worked.

    keep us posted. and can you just get him to retire, in the meantime? that way, you too can spend more time together, hopefully take care of each other?

    Love and God Bless,

    Karen

  9. Thank you all so much for your support. I cannot tell you how much your support has meant to me over the past week. Getting the chemo over a 5 day period made each day a little worse with fatigue and pain in the joints which are the only side effects I have had so far.........well a little stopped up but Senacot has been helping with that. Now I am looking forward to 2 weeks off with scans on Monday and the 11th. Miracles do happen and believe me I am fighting and praying for a miracle with the results from these upcomming tests but not being able to receive chemo for the past several weeks I am not really expecting one. We are still going through a pretty rough time here at Cacres so please keep the prayers comming.

    David C

  10. Cindi,

    it's really hard when it's your spouse, though. Sharlene needs her husband.

    And a big part of his problem could be how much he feels like he needs her.

    But it sounds so much like severe clinical depression to me. Not just how he's treating her, but how he's treating himself. I doubt your family was harming themself, and he is doing himself harm by not going to work, sittingin the chair all day, etc.

    He needs a good shrink and some drugs.

    Karen

  11. There is nothing in this world that compares to the love of your little baby girl. I wish we lived closer together. I bet our little girls would have a blast playing together.

    David C

  12. I want to clarify myself a little.

    True clincial depression is a medical problem - a disease - and the person suffering from it can't help having it any more than a cancer patient can help having cancer.

    But they can, however, get treatment for it, just like a cancer patient can get treatment for the cancer. and they are responsible for doing that. if they're not able to, family should do their best to get them help.

    but no one should ever blame a depression patient for having depression. they did nothing to bring it on any more than the cancer patient did.

    I speak personally. I suffer from a condition called dysthymia (sp?) which is a "low level" of depression a person walks around with their entire life, starting in young adolesence/childhood. It can be started by bad experiences like abuse. and not treating it, and most of it is not treated, later in life brings on clinical depression, especially when there is a tramatic life event to trigger it. The trauma Dave is going through right now is making me struggle with my own medical demons. I feel for Sharlene's husband in that I think he needs to get some medical help. NOW.

    Just want to clear that up. I don't think Sharlene's husband is having a pity party. I think he's sick and he needs help.

    Karen

  13. crap, Sharlene, THIS IS BAD. I would expect and understand this type of behavior out of the cancer patient, but him? the man whom you are dependent?

    What did he say when you told him he was depressed? did he respond at all?

    Is HE 68, or is his father 68? If your husband is 68, can he at least retire so you can get those benefits and not lose your house?

    You are doing the right thing, if only for practical purposes, but he has got to pull himself out of his depression and be there for you. Plus, if he loses you, you will want to know I am sure that he will pull himself together and be OK, wouldn't you?

    God bless you my dear soul and keep us posted,

    Karen

  14. I had to read this a few times to get it. and I got it, big time. It's really incredible. it's awesome. and I'm sincerely so very glad.

    WHY CAN'T WE HAVE SOMETHING LIKE TARCEVA FOR SMALL CELL?

    Karen

  15. On a serious note, chemo can cause dizziness so I'm voting for that to be the cause, not brain mets.

    Funny, Becky, but we bought Mary Poppins recently and have been watching it, piecemeal. Faith is pretty enchanted by it. And I have been running the spoonful of sugar song around in my head alot lately. I would said "A can full of budlight makes the chemo go down" would be a quite catchy song!

    Karen

  16. Beth, I got a PM from a dear friend on this board who shared some ideas on faith with me. and here's the thing. Faith is blind. Faith is the knowledge that whatever happens, you must put your trust 100% in God and continue. Faith is hanging on and believing, no matter what. It's not always about getting what you want, because getting what you want may not be necessarily God's plan.

    And who above just said not to grieve now? Was that Becky? I think I am, and I have been, grieving since we found out about Dave's multiples mets a month or so ago. And I guess that is where the conflict comes in. I can't grieve and fight and I can't grieve and be faithful to God. So I'm just going to stop grieving I guess and save it for later, hoping I won't need it later.

    Thanks for your wise words, Ginny, wise because unfortunately you've been there, done that. The thing is, I feel a little cheated right now. I want everything to be about Dave and I. But I can't. I still have to go to work every day. I am away from him eleven hours a day. I hate that. I want more time with him NOW. Alone. Just him and me. He's suggested we take some weekends away every now and then, just the two of us, when he's able, and I know that will help.

    Well, speaking of work, guess I'd better start doing some.

    Keep the discussion going, I respect everyone's opinion and there's at least a piece of what everyone says that really does help.

    God Bless,

    Karen

  17. Frank, Frank, Frank!! Beer and Chocolate??!!??!? Thats enough to make me potholed just thinking about that combination although I must admit that I have never tried Bud Light and Chocolate together but I do know that my beloved Samuel Adams deffinitely does not go together very well with Chocolate. I also had a harder time with my 2nd round of chemo. Hang in there and lean with the swerves (avoid the potholes) Put on your suntan lotion (getting zapped) and keep your fists up (getting jabbed). My prayers are for an empty headed Frank with your upcomming CT. Just remember I have the monopoly for peas in the brain so you can't have any.

    David C

  18. how do you balance the excruiating fear of losing your spouse at the ripe ole' age of 40, yet keeping a positive attitude and fighting? I talk to God several times a day, asking for a healing for Dave, but how do I completely keep my faith while facing the reality that I may lose him? I feel like if I even think about bracing myself for this, I'm being unfaithful to my faith, so to speak.

    is this a weird question or what?

    Karen

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