Remembering Dave
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Posts posted by Remembering Dave
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Thanks. I don't always give my mom the credit she deserves. she doesn't handle any drugs very well - I'm talking about aspirin, antibiotics, antihistamines - imagine what chemo does to her . . . but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, she faces realty and marches forward with her head up. she really is a good, sweet person who absolutely always looks for the positive in everything. I can't say that I do that, in fact, sometimes I wish she'd stop being so NICE, ha.
Ry, I do not remember about your friend with the pump, but you probably told us and I've forgotten in all the flurry of things going on. That is good news to hear. I'm thinking more and more that in my mother's situation, that pump may be the best thing after she's all healed up after surgery.
well, gotta get to work, thanks for all the words of encouragement!
Karen
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Yeah, she's pretty articulate for 72, that's for sure. OK, 72 isn't old at all. . . . anyway, I forgot to write the appt. down, I was going to tag along, and she didn't remind me, intentionally I am sure, and I'm glad, because I definitely have a full plate AND my mom and dad seemed to make all the right decisions.
I'm just a little skeptical about the liver infusion pump. Our onco doc says very few surgeons are doing them any more, they haven't proved to work any better than regular chemo, BUT, since my mom is not tolerating chemo very well, maybe a dose directly to the problem area will give her less general side affects. Dr. Brown, the liver surgeon, seems to love these infusion pumps, he really pushed the idea last summer when she had the first liver met.
Karen
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I guess most of you know my mom is fighting Stage IV colon cancer. Here's an email I just got from her. This isn't lung cancer related of course, but we could use some good thoughts, and maybe it will help some folks understand why I'm so tired and stressed . . .
(this is from Karen - Karen's mom):
"I went to see the liver surgeon, Dr. Brown, today, at the suggestion of
Dr.Schwarz, to discuss my recurrent liver tumors.
I will be having major liver surgery sometime in the near future. I
have to wait a week after I stop taking the blood thinner, Coumadin, for
the current blood clots in my right leg. My prothrombin time (Pro Time)
was okay today, so I won't need any more shots of Heparin (Lovenox) at
this time.
I am scheduled to have a PET Scan (full body) on Monday, May 2, at
Henrico Doctors Hospital - Forest. After the surgeon and the oncologist
review the results, they will set up the surgery date.
Dr. Brown told us that this will be extensive major surgery, and I will
likely be in the hospital 7 - 10 days. He will do a laparoscopic
procedure first to view the area, then will do regular surgery to remove
part of my liver in two separate places. (He said removing enough of my
liver won't be a problem, as it regenerates quickly and also you can
have up to 50% removed without creating a problem.)
This isn't my ideal way to spend the summer, but if it must be done --
the sooner the better. I'm not totally surprised, as he had told me
that liver tumors have a tendency to recur because the liver is so
spongy that cancer cells are impossible to detect before they become
tumors.
In addition, during surgery I will have a screen inserted in a major
vein to prevent clots from traveling to my lungs/heart in the future. I
will probably also have a pump installed (through a new, larger port in
my abdomen) to dispense chemo directly into my liver.
We'll let you all know when a surgery date has been set up. There are
many risks for all of this, but the success rate is high.
Pray for strength and courage.
Love, Mom"
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Kel,
Somehow I missed the part about your Mom having to fly back to Canada. I'm so sorry she's going through this ALL AT ONCE.
I don't know what else to say, except know that everyone here loves you and your Mom and really cares about you.
God Bless,
Karen
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I'd go easy on the cancer stuff - if she didn't want to discuss her cancer when you were there for a week, she probably isn't that keen on having reminders of it around either. Just my opinion.
I'm really sorry everything sounds so dismal. I think that SCLC with mets to the bones can be treated more aggressively than hers has been. Maybe she knows all her options, doesn't want to be that aggressive, and doesn't want to discuss it either, as to avoid any pressure to change her mind? Just speculating here. Maybe your sister in law can shed more light on things.
But I'd make it the nicest mother's day you could. maybe another trip to see her is in order?
God Bless your family,
Karen
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Jen, that hospice program is the best. Everyone should have access to that. Your poor Dad, this must be heartbreaking for him.
I pray that everything looks OK or at least is fixable on the scans.
God Bless,
Karen
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I responded to your post in General.
I also want to ditto EVERYTHING Addie said above.
please read my post in general and don't give up, don't give in.
Love,
Karen
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Jen, your post was like a sucker punch to the gut.
First of all DON'T GIVE UP. LOOK AT DAVE. HE'S ON HIS SECOND ROUND OF METS, HIS THIRD BOUT OF SCLC, AND HE'S STILL FIGHTING.
Why Tarceva? Isn't that just for NSCLC?
Dave AND Addie are using topotecan, for their SCLC mets, and it seems to be working for both of them. ASK YOUR ONCO DOC ABOUT THAT PLEASE!!
Dave has mets to his lower spine, pelvic bone AND left hip, and the topotecan seems to be working on them. He also had a liver met and they think it's gone already, the scans were done after he'd only had three out of 12 treatments!!!!
JEN, JEN, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP. DO YOUR RESEARCH, DOUBLE CHECK YOUR OPTIONS, AND GO GET SECOND OPINIONS IF YOUR ONCO DOC WON'T CONSIDER THE OPTIONS.
HANG IN THERE - ASK GOD FOR STRENGTH AND HE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU!
Karen
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I hope you and this young lady's family gets some answers, as some understanding may provide some relief. It's just awful for everyone involved, no doubt about it.
They sound like a wonderful family and I pray they get through together.
Karen
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Shellie, I wish there was something I could say or do that would take the hurt away or make it better but there isn't. I feel so bad for you, and for your husband and their whole entire family. this is just awful. please take care of yourselves, and TRUST IN THE LORD as He is the only one who will get you through this.
Lots of love,
Karen
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Hi, Paddy, I saw that, but it works for me. still starts with a "k"!
I'm so excited and jealous that you sold your house so quickly! And excited for your move!
Karen
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Ditto what Sharon said.
Karen
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I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mother. It is good she left so peacefully, but how tragic to lose her so unexpectedly.
Thank you so much for letting us know. We all worry about folks when we don't hear from them after a short while.
God Bless you and your family, and may your mother rest in peace with the Lord.
The Chapman Family
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A big hug to you, Frank. I hope all of this stuff straightens itself out and SOON.
God Bless,
Karen
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I'm really shocked. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I look at your lovely photo and I can't believe this is happening to you.
I'm praying and hoping that things reverse themselves. And remember what Betty says, every dawn is a victory!
God Bless,
Karen
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Paddy, I think this is great. I don't like hot weather either, and your daughter Karen is a terrific person and your grandson sounds like a chip off his mom - and his Grandmom - and his Granddad's block, so to speak. You will be happier and of course David knows where you are, he's probably so happy that you are making this move. and I'm not surprised to hear how fast your house sold. The market is hot right now (everywhere but in Aylett, haha).
Best of luck!
Karen
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Randi, I hope you are doing well. I actually just posted something under Family Members.
God Bless your family and may your mother rest in peace with the Lord.
Karen
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I just saw this. how are you holding up? Is your mother gone now? you sound so strong, how can you be after losing your husband to LC and now your Mom? I so admire you!
God Bless,
Karen
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Nancy, how awful! I must tell you, my favorite cousin, his fiance, with whom he has been living with for four years but she keeps putting off marriage - she had a mammagram a year ago and they saw something and recommended a biopsy - she didn't do it because she didn't have health insurance - he said, well, good time to get married, then we'll put you on my insurance - she put it off - all of it - finally got her own insurance - lump got so big she had to do something about it, so had "emergency" lumptectomy - so far everything looks good, clear margin, clear lymph nodes (still waiting on results of sentinel node) and so she may have gotten away from it. But I ask, how can an educated, professional woman, who's own fiance's sister died of breast cancer, put something like that off?
well, hang in there. you're doing all you can. it's tough, isn't it?
God Bless,
Karen
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Hi ya'll. didn't get on the computer much at home over the weekend 'cause it has a virus and Dave needs to fix it.
The weekend wasn't that great. Took Faith to the party but she clung to me more than she should have, I was afraid she would, she does that all the time, even though she was around all her friends from school.
I was feeling so down, really really down, and then yesterday my throat was scratchy and I realized I was getting a cold.
Managed to get Dave to go to an open house yesterday, a for sale by owner, the house/yard was PERFECT for us and really beautiful, but we can't buy until we have a ratified contract and it was a little tiny bit more money than we really should pay, especially with Dave on disability, although we could get the mortgage and have plenty of down payment, just trying to restrain ourselves and buy much lower priced house so we'll have a really low mortgage payment, so I can start socking more money into my 401K and save for Faith's college, both have been put on hold since Dave was diagnosed two years ago. And sad to say, we are trying to find something I can easily manage on my own, financially and physically, if we lose Dave.
so I'm at work today fighting a cold, still feeling down and a little bit miserable from it all.
Anyway, my favorite Aunt, who is tons of fun, is coming to visit this weekend, and I'm going to spend the entire time running around with her, she loves shopping for bargains so that's what we'll do, and she is SUPER with kids, having six of her own and 12 grandkids, so Faith will have fun with her, too. I can't wait!
Thanks for the support, everyone,
Karen
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Thanks, ya'll. I guess falling asleep every night in the recliner doesn't help. I try to relax a little before going to bed so I don't lay there and toss and turn with my mind reeling. then I end up dragging myself up to bed at 2 am or something. that's my fault. I need to find a better method. it's time for a good book I think.
I have plenty of friends, but everyone has families and busy lives and it's hard to nail anyone down to do anything, and being so far out in the country doesn't help things either. It seems like people rally when bad news hits, then after you settle in the routine of the fight and the treatment, boredom sets in and they all drift off. I do have one good friend, a fairly new friend, a single mom of an adopted little chinese cutie six weeks younger than Faith, and I am trying to get together more with them for girlfriend dates. Faith and Kelly play really well together. I should hook up with them this weekend. Faith has a birthday party tomorrow morning, twins from her class, and I am actually looking forward to that. Hopefully she'll go and play and not cling to me like she does whenever I'm anywhere nearby. It would be fun to sit and talk with the other parents while she has fun.
I'm just rambling. Dave managed to drag himself out of bed and meet me at our realtor's office, where we drew up a counteroffer to the offer presented to us on Monday. I felt bad for him because we sat in a stuffy conference room for 1.5 hours and he looked like he was going to pass out. I think this is going to work out. Supposedly the buyers need to sell rental property to buy our place, but they say it will sell fast and then they want to close fast with us (they're doing a tax exchange) and rent back to us until we find a house. that will be nice, because in the cutthroat house sales environment where we want to buy into, having a clean contract, an already approved mortgage and a huge chunk of down payment ready to be plunked down, we will have an edge over our competitors in the world of house buying. I hope our counteroffer works. I'm ready to move on in some respect, whether it is OUT of the world of cancer or into a new home!
well, better run, got to finish something up in the next 30 minutes. Just thought I'd check back in.
thanks for all the hugs and good thoughts!
Karen
p.s. I am trying to find a little time here at work to sit and do a little meditating with God (prayer), hopefully that will get me through . . .
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I'm just worn out. I guess it being Friday doesn't help. and I'm more than a little bit lonely. Poor Dave, he just sits in the recliner and sleeps, or he can't get out of bed at all. sometimes I just want someone to talk to. My mom is too sick to be troubled with much, the chemo is really knocking her down. Now she has some serious blood clots in her legs, she had this 35 years ago when I was 11 or so, she was supposed to stay off her feet and was taking blood thinners and I found her in bed one morning after my Dad was at work, blue in the face and gasping for breath - a cloth had dislodged and gone to her lung - she was in the hospital for two weeks. So she's dealing with that again and it's bringing back memories from that day from when I was a little girl, so I'm scared and lonely and pretty much feeling like that little girl again, with no one to talk to.
I'm just venting. that's all. no need to comment on my lack of patience, fortitude or anything else. I just don't have anywhere else to go right now but here. I miss my mom, and I miss my husband. I miss my two cousins that I could talk to about anything, who are both dead. My other cousin I can talk to about anything is dealing with the recent breast cancer diagnoses and emergency lumptectomy of his fiance. Faith is too little to understand anything of course. I suppose that's a good thing.
Karen
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Nancy, if he does have the lymphedema (fluid in arm because of armpit lymph nodes removed or damaged) he can get a compression sleeve that will help keep the fluid there under control.
You might want to post this question under General where more people will see it. I know there have been others on this board with problems at their superior vena cava area.
I think you need more answers from you onco doc. Do you have absolute confidence in him/her? If not you may want to find a second opinion on his treatment. Or switch altogether. He/she doesn't sound like they are giving you much hope or fighting very hard for you. A Stage IV diagnoses is not necessarily a death sentence.
Take care and God Bless,
Karen
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Betty, we love you. I wish you had a better chair, but I suspect with that spine met that may be a little difficult to find.
Sending good wishes your way, and letting you know how much we love you.
Faith just blew you a kiss.
God Bless,
Karen
DavidC Where are YOU?
in SCLC GROUP
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Hey, guys and gals, fans of Big Dave, I hope he posts soon . . . but the truth is, he's not feeling very well these days and doesn't have much motivation. Plus, the 'puter at home got a virus and he was afraid to get on line until he fixed it I think. He doesn't feel well enough to converse with me much (the little tiny bit of time that I am at home!!!!) so I'm not sure what the status of the virus is at this point. But I will add "posting to LCHelp" to my list of naggers.
He's pretty beaten up, or down, or whatever, poor thing. He's been through ALOT in the last two years, and even for a big healthy 40 year old, it's getting pretty hard on his body.
Anyway, I talked to him about an hour ago, and he was on the way home from chemo (his Dad drove him, that's how beat up he feels) and I'm trying to leave him alone, every time I call him I get this "what now" sort of tone of voice, I think the phone wears him down, too. but I will try to get him on line next time we speak.
by the way, my favorite cousin is the Operations Director for the Las Vegas tourism bureau. After Dave is well, I betcha he could get him a sweet gig as a drag queen in some fancy show out there! yuk yuk
Karen