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amyrig35

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  1. My MIL passed away yesterday afternoon. I was supposed to fly out for a business trip yesterday so we went to the hospital earlier then normal. She was sleeping with a respiration mask on so we didn't wake her. At noon, I had to leave to catch my plane. At 1:00pm, as I was turning off the highway into the airport parking lot, I got the call. I turned around. I'm glad this is over for her... but that doesn't make it feel any better. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and thoughts. Her struggle was short, less then a year, but I really appreciated the support.
  2. My MIL is also in Hospice. They found that morphine wasn't strong enough for her so she is on something else. But whatever it is, when she isn't on it she is also angry and confused. When she takes the medicine, she is calm, rational and understands what is happening. She becomes a different person when the drugs start to wear off. She doen't remember what is happening, she forgets that she is in the hospital, she asks us to call the police to "break me out of here". Unfortunately in that state she often refuses the medication so her anger is prolonged until someone can convince her to take it. I don't understand how any of this works, but your Mom's reactions sound like what we have been seeing with my MIL. I am so sorry.
  3. We are begining the same journey. I am so sorry that it has come to this but I am so happy that you can be there to support her in this decision. Our thoughts are with you and your family.
  4. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. She won't let us tell her church what is going on...
  5. Well, I haven't written anything in a while because my MIL never would agree to have the biopsy done. So we have ignored "the cancer" all year. I guess she was right to not find out - it isn't the cancer that is going to kill her. On December 20, just a few days before we were all going to her house for Christmas dinner, an aneurysm in her abdomine ruptured. We all ran to the hospital (including her son that only comes up once a year - at Christmas) and met her before the surgery. We knew about the aneurysm in her belly (as well as the one at her heart) but the doctors felt that she would not survive the surgery needed to repair it. So here we are waiting at 3:00am to hear if she made it through emergency surgery. Oh, and as a side note, the lung cancer was diagnosed when they scanned for the aneurysm. It is so far along now that there is no question. So... at 4:00am the doctor walks out and told us that she made it. Problem 1. The rupture prevented blood from getting to her legs. No pulse in either. A few days go by. Problem 2. She has pneumonia in both lungs. She has refused the respirator. A few days go by. Both legs are dead. Black. One up to the hip the other at the knee. Her liver is failing. She has a fever. We spoke with hospise yesterday. She was right. It was OK to ignore the cancer.
  6. Do you have a FREECYCLE group in your area? It's a yahoo group which is free to join where you can post (almost) anything that you have to give away. People post all kinds of things, and I'm sure there is someone who can use medical equipment. -amy
  7. You bet. I have a worm composter in the basement for food scraps (and the occasional pizza box) and a compost bin in the back yard for yard waste, weeds, and anything the worms won't eat. My town picks up plastic, glass, aluminum and newspapers.
  8. Thank you for that post. I sent it on to a friend of mine. She is not struggling with any helth problems (thank goodness) but is dealing with some very... severe marriage issues. I have been trying to convince her of her worth, so this poem seemed like a nice reminder.
  9. That's right. My SIL was going to talk to her dictor. Actually my MIL agreed to my SIL joining her at her next appointment (technically at the cardiologist, but that is the only doctor she will agree to see. And he knows the situation). The day before the appointment she was back in the emergency room. Diverticulitus. Or so they think. She was in for 5 days. Home for 12 hours. Back in for one week and then in a rehab facility for a week. Needless to say the appointment that my SIL was going to attend was postponed and, to the best of my knowledge, has yet to be rescheduled. There was an allergist brought in for a consultation - my MIL didn't like him. I think that means that he told her things she didn't want to hear, but that's just my suspicion. I know that these are her choices, but I'm not sure she is really thnking about them before she is making them. When the hospital first mentioned going to rehab the doctor sat her and my husband down and tried to explain that she really needed the help. At least for the short term. She broke down crying and said that she just wasn't ready to let go and die. Wonderful! But ignoring all of this, to me, seems like letting go... And if she isn't ready (I know that we certainly aren't ready) she doesn't seem to be activly fighting. Maybe she is in her way... I just have SO many questions for her that I can't ask. I have no right to question her and her decisions and what she wants to do - but I really WANT to!
  10. I haven't posted since the spring - since my MIL was "unoficially" diagnosed. She was hospitalized for heart issues and they found spots on her lungs almost as a side issue to the heart problems. They ran the chest x-rays and CT scans but said she wasn't strong enough for much else. She didn't want to know and didn't want to talk about it. Well a few weeks later she was hospitalized again because her face swelled to the point where she was having trouble swallowing and breathing. Still didn't want to talk about it but the doctor mentioned that it could be from the cancer... she glared at him and no more was said. So that's it. Her face continues swell and then subside (she takes a Benedryl and prays). She is exhausted and forces herself out of bed most days (some days she stays in). No appitite - food tastes funny. She is loosing weight and misses smoking (she did quit when she was in the hospital the first time). She blacked out briefly a few weeks ago and fell to the floor but luckally didn't break anything. She said it was the blood pressure medication. I guess that's it. She doesn't want to know so we can't ask. She is waiting to get better and we are waiting for... I don't know. Something. I guess I'm just venting. My husband is upset but he doesn't like to talk about it either - so here I am. Thank you for listening. -amy
  11. Carleen, Please know that even though you can not feel it right now - you are surrounded with love. -amy
  12. Thank you so much everyone! I really appreciate all of the support and we can certainly use all of the kind thoughts and prayers. We are in the process of trying to get some information directly from her doctor - not that it will change much, but I think we will all feel better if some of our questions are answered. I have been looking at the path less traveled board (and have posted to it) and it has been really helpful. Thank you again! I just hope that at some point I can get my husband to come and read... he needs the support and the hope...
  13. Linda, Thank you. I'm sure you are right. We spoke with her daughter (my sister in law) last night and she is going to try and talk to the doctor directly today. To see what we can find out from him that my MIL might not be telling us - or might not understand. To confuse the already terrible situation, she is hard of hearing and her doctor has a very heavy accent. I'm not sure she hears and understands everything that he says to her. Unfortunately my SIL doesn't really want to hear any of this either... but I hope we will learn something more today. -amy
  14. Hi. I introduced myself in the Welcome section yesterday and was hoping someone might be able to offer some advice. My Mother-in-law was diagnosed (without biopsy - she has refused) with lung cancer and she does not want to receive any treatment. She is taking medication for high blood pressure, something to improve her sense of taste (food doesn't taste right) and a few other things. Can someone tell me what symptoms or problems we should expect? I realize that everyone is different, but every time she mentions something we don't know if it represents a major change or if it is not related to her illness. She is blaming the way she feels on the medicine and has been asking her doctor to change her medication. How do we tell if it is the medicine or the disease? She was admitted to the ER when her face and mouth became swollen and she had trouble breathing and I have learned that this can be caused by the cancer. She has no energy, swollen ankles, is loosing weight and, not surprisingly, is miserable. Is there a "typical" list of symptoms that we can expect her to go through in this process? I know that this is a hard question to answer, but anything would be helpful. Thanks.-amy
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