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dumpy222

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Posts posted by dumpy222

  1. Hi

    Thanks for replying and yes you are right there will never be enough time with my dad..

    I want dad to be here forever and ever and I know its not going to happen, I`m going to do like you said so mine and dad`s goal is to see Chelsea go to school on september the 6th...

    I`m 29 years old and feel like I`m about 14, dad isnt any older to me he`s still the same as he always was, its hard to take him having cancer cause I can see the effects of it on him..

    Would it be wrong to say I wanted dad to die of old age peacefully in his sleep?

    Donna

  2. Hi friends

    Just feeling low at the moment thought I`d say hello and have a moan...

    I`m going through that much emotion I dont know whats wrong with me, I`ve had the odd moment of despair but snapped out of it. Today I cant get myself to perk up, just keep thinking and thinking...

    My 4 year old starts school in September I want dad to be here to see her in her uniform....

    I want him to see chrismas and new year...

    I want him to see his 76th birthday...

    I want him to see mom`s 70th birthday...

    I want him to see my 30th birthday...

    I`ve got so many things I want dad to see and be part of. Its all the uncertainty thats doing it, the not knowing if the nasty thing will go, the not knowing how long we have left together.

    Why why us? why anyone?

    Sorry for venting

    Donna

  3. Hi Kathy

    Yes from the moment they sent my dad for the chest xray I know what we would be dealing with. I`ve spent hours and hours on the internet researching it all finding out the stats and looking for hope.

    I`m in constant contact with our St Giles nurse and my dads lung cancer nurse. I`m forever on the phone with questions and to be honest I think I know more than my mom and dad. The nurse has told me everything and even the prognosis(my dad has no idea)

    I find it a little easier if I can have all the info in front of me its my way of trying to cope.

    We just came back from a week away and I think I`m so down now because I could see how much my dad struggled with the things he`s done for years.

  4. Just feel so helpless. Worse bit at the moment is all the delays we are having with his chemo. We just feel its one set back after another with our family.

    And the fact it took so long to be confirmed properly we kept having our hopes built up, only for someone to come and kick us back down again.

    All I`ve been thinking is that I`m gonna lose my dad and my little uns are gonna lose the grandad that they love to bits, and how I explain to them when something happens.

    I go through stages of being positive and telling myself the chemo will do something and then maybe they can go for a cure instead of pallative treatment and that he will still be here to see the kids start school and things.. Then bang it all changes and I just dont feel positive at all. And I start questioning life and the universe and my own mortality

  5. Thanks for all the replies I`ve had, I`ve had a look through this wonderful site and I really didnt know so many people have suffered/suffering with this vile disease...

    The last few months have been so awful, I`m still going through a range of emotions everyday at the moment I go from being angry to crying.. My mom is a wreck and has suffered ill health since finding out about dad.

    I do all I can do but with 2 kids and a part time job its difficult, my 4 year old knows there`s something going on but she`s autistic so explaining it wouldnt work for her..

    Donna

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