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Anniemac

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Posts posted by Anniemac

  1. Norme, my heart breaks for you. This is just the hardest thing to go through. Your relationship with Buddy was so special and your love for each other just shines like sunbeams. Please know that my prayers and thought are with you.

  2. Tim passed away yesterday, January 31. Very peaceful and quiet. It was my niece's wedding day and he was supposed to be in the wedding. Had the tux, but ended up being too weak to go. He did get a hair cut on Tuesday, but seemed to slide down after that.

    His son and daughter and granddaughter came for the wedding (really to see their Dad) and he was able to visit with them a bit. As time for the wedding got closer, I was really torn. Should I go or stay with him? I sat next to him for a couple of hours and talked about our life together and told him it was time for him to go. It was getting harder to breath, but he said he was not in pain. My nephews told me I need to go to the wedding and they would stay by his side. My niece has been like a daughter to us, and had moved her wedding up almost a year because of Tim being so ill.

    At the wedding, they started with a prayer to honor Uncle Tim and speed him on his journey. The chair next to me was empty with a white rose on the seat. We went to the reception and within 10 minutes my nephews called and told me to come home. I knew he was gone. My sister and the kids and I came home to be with him.

    At the reception they had a minute of silence when the bride and groom arrived and my brother dedicated the father/daughter dance to Tim. Then he came home with bottles of champagne, cake and food for all of us and we ate and toasted Tim, told stories about him and laughed and cried. It was so special to have all my family around me and I think Tim waited for me and the kids to leave so we would not be there when he passed.

    Sorry this is so long, but I have not been posting much lately, helping to plan a wedding for 120 people in less than a month and having Tim in hospice took all the time I had.

    I want to thank all of you who sent cards to us. It really brightened our days and Tim was surprised by it.

    I need to go to bed now, I have a lot of sleep to catch up on. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, as always.

  3. Dean, go for the meds if you need them. Tim's onc told him that with the medications, chemo and radiation that there was no way he could not have a chemical imbalance and put him on Paxil. He still takes it, even with the hospice. I do think it helps some. The scooter will help too!! I can just see you cruising around town, wind in your hair.

  4. Norme, I sure am thinking and praying for you and your Buddy. I hope you are blessed with good hospice folks, as we are. They do help in reassuring me about what is happening with Tim. Just know that your in my heart.

  5. Norme, we received your card and it sure brightened Tim's day. I didn't tell him about the card list and that he is on it, so it was quite a surprise. He has just completed 5 days of radiation for a rib met and the last day they found a met in his arm and treated that too. Sure hope it helps with the pain.

    It's been a tough week learning about the bone mets, even though he's in hospice. We thought they had started hospice too soon and the would end up throwing him out when they saw that he wasn't that sick.

    I guess it's sinking in that this is really happening and other than a miracle, the outcome is not going to be what we wanted. I still hold out for the miracle :) , but we are starting to have those private and hard talks.

    I hope that Buddy is feeling a bit better; he is in my prayers as always. Thanks again for brightening our day.

  6. Carlton, the last time Tim & I flew the girl in the seat in front of me had the flu. Great huh! The flight attendant brought her a tank of oxygen to because she was vomiting and feeling so bad. They do have them on the plane (this was Alaska Airlines) but I don't know how often they are used.

    I'm not sure if you can check your oxygen equipment so you have it at the other end of your trip or if they just don't let it travel at all. Maybe if they don't, you can make arragements for some to be available at your destination.

    This may not work if you have to be on oxygen all the time. Just not sure. Don't we have an airline employee in our 800 members??

  7. Norme, sorry I haven't been on more often, but we're so busy with Tim and with the wedding. Our onc said we would be able to tell if the Iressa was working within 7-10 days. It did make him feel better at first, but the scans were not good.

    Tim had fluid in his lung, his ankles were swollen and he was having alot of trouble breathing. This was the day after Christmas and when I called the doc, he told me about the scans and encouraged us to use hospice. Tim took medication to remove the fluid and his breathing improved completely. He keeps swelling if we don't use the meds and I'm not sure what causes this.

    Hospice told us that they have patients who live for 1 1/2 years and others who get well enough that they leave hospice. The wonderful care he is receiving is making him better. They are so responsive that if we need anything, it's there that day or the next and we don't have to go into the city to get it.

    I have not given up hope for Tim to get better. I'm hoping we can build him up and take him out of hospcie and back into treatment. In the meantime, he gets his care at home.

    He got a stomach flu bug a few nights ago and I was able to phone the on-call nurse at midnight. If I had needed her, she would have driven out and come to see Tim. I like that kind of care.

    I hope Buddy does well on the Iressa. Many people have and I will pray that he is one of the lucky ones.

  8. Has anyone here tried acupuncture? I have read a couple of things lately about it helping with cancer. Anyone else heard anything about it?

    Tim is doing a little better and having some good days. My niece is getting married (was going to be in Sept. but she moved it up to Jan 31 because of Tim) and Tim is going to be a groomsman. He was fitted for his tux yesterday and he went out to lunch.

    He will be having some radiation next week for a rib that is causing him pain. His appetite is better and because of that, he feels better.

    It's nice to have a few good thing to write about. I have been reading and keeping up with everyone, but not in the mood to post much. Everybody, please know you are always in my prayers and I'm always thinking of you.

  9. Sammy, good questions. I am facing the same thing with my husband. Do you have access to hospice care. They can help you with all types of help, from caretaking to grocery shopping to spirtual help. We just stared hospice yesterday, so I know there are members out there with some answers for us. I'm sorry your going through this.

  10. More bad news on the boards. When will it ever end??

    Tim's has new tumors in his chest and maybe in his right lung. He was on Iressa for almost 2 months and it seemed to be working at the beginning. He was strong enough to go to CA for a weeks vacation at the beginning of December. It was a good visit, kids and granddaughter and friends and family. He was pretty beat when we got back and has spent more time in bed.

    His lung was very congested during the last week and I had to call our onc on the 26th because he was so short of breath. He had a CT and a bone scan done on the 22nd and the doc told me that they were not good at all. The disease was progressing and there was nothing left to offer us but hospice. He said anything they would try at this point would be so hard on his system that it would do more harm than good. He doesn't have much reserve left and has never been able to put on the weight he lost. He's not eating much at all now. Half a boost, 1/2 a tuna sandwich and 1/2 a glass of milk today.

    They brought oxygen tonight and want him on it all the time. Tomorrow he will have a blood transfusion and hospice will start on Wed.

    How do I deal with this?? How do you watch the person you love go through this?? I guess I will because I have no choice, but this sucks big time!!

    My niece is moving up her wedding from the spring to less than a month so her Uncle Tim will be able to come. My heart breaks for all my friends here who have lost loved ones to this beast. Now I will be one of them.

  11. Norme, I'm sorry to hear that your Buddy is not doing too well. Tim is in the same boat, too weak to have regular chemo and was spending all his time in bed. He started on Iressa about 6 weeks ago and within a week I could tell it was doing him some good. We were able to go on a weeks vacation in Southern California to see the kids and our granddaughter.

    So don't give up hope. Know that we are all praying for you and Buddy all the time with the hope that he can get stronger. Also praying for you to have a good holiday and enjoy each other.

  12. Well, Bob, I will just add my two cents to the wise words of the rest of the gang...dang!! This is just not suppposed to be happening. I know with your attitude, you will make mince meat of these mets. And be back in the rain forest or some other exotic local for a vacation a few weeks after your treatment.

  13. Greg, your dad was a hero. He fought for the rights of the workers at the same time he was sick and still raising a family. What a guy!! You must be very proud of him.

    I lost my mom in 1964, when I was just a kid. I still miss her and sure wish she was here to help me though this. I know I will see her again someday, but I sure need her now. I guess we never lose the need for our moms and dads.

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