ConnieH

I wanted to let everyone know that Mom passed away Sunday morning, June 3, 2007 at approx 1:00 am. We had to take her to the hospital Friday, June 1 about 1:00 pm due to her potassium being too low. They advised she was also possibly suffering from pneumonia in her right lung and her left lung had apparently collapsed. I believe she knew the time was near and that is why she agreed to go to the hospital. She was diagnosed almost 16 months ago and given only 3 to 6 months to live. She lived her life the way she wanted and was able to walk to the stretcher to get in the ambulance to go to the hospital. She was only bed ridden and in the hospital for 1 1/2 days due to her illness. As she was taking her last breaths, my son in law was singing her favorite song "Amazing Grace". We buried her today and I asked my son in law to speak at her funeral, he did a wonderful job of describing her life. I also wanted to share a poem he wrote last night for the service. Nanie, A Woman of Virtue We speak of a woman who was strong and virtuous. Whose Godly love and kindness we felt in all of us. With crutches and a brace she would give her very best. She was a warrior and a fighter, who now can finally rest. Her life was not a sad life, but a life well lived. Her joy came from the Lord, her service to others, her family and kids. Through life’s many struggles and pains we all go through, she will carry no more. Because I believe someday we shall see her running by the heavenly shore. When she closed her eyes to this life and opened them to the next. Oh how I can imagine what she saw, the Lord’s arms, towards her, as he stretched. I’m sure she would say don’t be sad for me now, I am finally home in heaven and at God’s feet I bow. I’m sure she would say I am with lost loved ones and long lost friends, but listen closely this is not the end. Because the Lord is coming back any day, any night, Have you trusted him with your heart? I hope and pray you might. We have spoken of a woman of virtue and whose life through her deeds has spoken to each and everyone of you. I want to thank everyone for their kind words and support through this whole long battle. My mom is now reunited with my dad and walking for the first time without crutches down those streets of gold.

I understand completely where you are coming from. My mother was diagnosed on March 6, 2007 with cancer in her left lung, in her lymph nodes and in her adrenal gland. She was only given 3 to 6 months and we are almost 13 months later. She chose not to do anything even to the biopsy. Mom has had some pains throughout the year but she has only had the majority of her problems since Christmas and it started with difficulty breathing. I believe each person has to make their own decision about treatment b/c each person is different. In my mom's case she would probably have not made it two months with chemo. I believe my mom's attitude has gotten her this far. She has always been such a positive person and she just tries not to let things get her down or if she does it doesn't last very long. It has been very difficult letting my mom make these decisions b/c I have not been able to even get her to do any further testing to see how the cancer has progressed. Just keep talking with your grandmother b/c it does not hurt to get a second opinion on things. The only thing I can say is to just be there for your grandmother and listen to her. My prayers are with you. Connie

Well just thought I would give an update. Mom has not been doing very well at all. She of course is still staying by herself but she really only goes from the bed to her chair and to the bathroom. She has trouble with her breathing just walking from the chair to the bathroom but she is soooo independent she will not allow me to stay with her. So I bring her breakfast, lunch and supper, make sure all of her things are done so she don't have to exert herself with anything. She has started having a considerable amount of pain in her spine and her home health nurse advised she is not hearing any sounds in her left lung at all. She takes are meds for the pain but it only takes the edge off and makes it tolerable, she won't take anything that will mess with her head, she wants to remain as alert as possible. She has been getting somewhat depressed on occasion but she is able to have her conversations with the Lord and it brings her back to her old self. Her depression doesn't come from dying, it comes from not being able to get up and do anything or even carry on a 5 min conversation without getting breathless. We are just taking everything day by day. Prayers are with everyone and thanks for listening.

Daddyslittlegirl It is the hardest thing you will ever do in letting them make their own decisions. You want to protect them and keep them as long as possible. Sometimes I feel like I am on a never ending roller coaster ride b/c as my daughter says we take one step forward in helping her with her pain management and three steps backward. She starts doing well with a particular medicine and then she always finds something wrong. Mom just told me that she has been afraid of giving up anything that she does for herself b/c it feels like she is giving up her independence, but she realizes that she is just unable to do things anymore and has agreed to let me help her. Mom is realizing that she has gotten worse with her fatigue and breathing just in the last two weeks. It is worrying and depressing her, then she gets mad b/c she is never been one to look at the negative. Just be there for your dad and he will tell you what he needs. It may not be what you want to hear and it will be frustrating at times but just love him. My prayers are with your family.

Well mom has been having more bad days then good. She has been experiencing alot of pain in her chest and back. She also has a aching, burning pain in her left arm that she describes as worms crawling causing the pain (Has anyone ever heard of this?). She did try a new pain medicine this past weekend that made her like herself again, happy. But when it wears off she is back to not wanting food and getting more depressed which is not like my mom. She still of course won't take the meds everyday so far one every other day, but I guess anything is better than nothing. She at least is talking to me more about the pain so it must be getting bad. She just told me that she thinks the cancer has moved to her right lung b/c she is having as much pain on that side as she has in the other. I don't know, I hate this not knowing what is next. I wish there was something more I could do. Love and prayers to everyone.

Well Mom went to the doctor last week and I left feeling like it was a total waste of time. I realize now that he is only there to prescribe Mom medicine as she needs it and that is all. He doesn't even talk about the cancer and only blames her difficulty breathing completely on her smoking and nothing else. I understand that I am going to have to deal with this b/c my mom doesn't won't to do anything else except treat the symptoms with as little medicine as possible. With all that said, I sent my co-workers who are paramedics and emts to visit mom to check her O2 sat to see if she was getting enough oxygen b/c her breathing was getting really bad. The paramedic found her right lung congested (the cancer is in her left lung) and told her she was going to have to do something to break up the congestion. I finally convinced her to let them do breathing treatments on her to loosen up the congestion which seems to be working. The paramedic recommended to mom's doctor to prescribe the meds and machine for her to do her own treatments. Mom told me yesterday, she feels like the maybe the difficulty breathing was going to get her before the pain b/c she can deal with the pain. She has been very difficult trying to convince her that she needs these things to keep going or she will in up in the hospital. I feel like sometimes I am raising another teenager b/c she won't listen to anything I say. She tells me she doesn't feel good at all most of the time but if I tell anyone that I am just overreacting of course. My mom has never made a very good patient so please pray for me to maintain my patience. I was teasing her the other day b/c the doctor prescribed her some meds for anxiety and she couldn't figure out why he did that and I told her I believe he actually prescribed them for me. She actually found that very humorous, maybe she knows how cantankerous she can be. Thanks for listening again.

Well its me again with an update. Since Christmas mom has been having continuous pain and now difficulty breathing. But she still says she can handle it b/c it is like the pain she has been living with for years in her shoulders. She has a doctor appt on Tuesday and we are going to talk with him about getting her something that might make a breath alittle better. She is even willing to talk with him about some other kind of pain meds. Her fatigue level is tremendous. She is still in wonderful spirits and gives anyone that speaks with her a blessing. But I don't know what all this means. Could she still live with this difficulty breathing for a long time. I am so worried about her but she is still so independent and won't let me just take care of her. Thanks for listening, it just helps getting it out.

Well I thought I would give everyone an update on how things are going. Mom has been doing pretty good, she is managing her pain pretty good. She has not been getting out very much and can't stand large crowds at home or out in public, it makes her alittle nervous. Today has been a good day, she has come up with a project for my daughter and it has made her more perky then she has been in a few weeks. I feel like that she needs things ike that to occupy her mind so she is not concentrating on her pain. It has been a rough couple of weeks for some of my friends. My boss lost if father to lung cancer last Friday and another co-worker that his dad was diagnosed with lung cancer the same week that my mom was is not doing very well. He doesn't expect his dad to make it til Christmas. His dad chose to take treatments where my mom didn't and he told me yesterday that my mom is winning the bet by making the right decision not to have treatment. It made me feel so bad, I told him that my mom made the right decision for her but that is a decision for each individual person. Thanks for the listen.

Well it has been awhile since I posted last. The last time I was on, Mom was experiencing a considerable amount of pain but since that time she has managed that pain with meds from the doctor but she is now back on her tylenol. She has completed and printed the book she was writing about my dad. She told me that she is only experiencing a few small pains occasionally but nothing she can't handle. She did say she is getting more tired each day but when her friends visit they think she is the same old "Dottie". She has such a wonderful outlook on life and blesses everyone she comes in contact with. It has been 7 mos now since they diagnosed her and she seems to be ok. She has lost down to 93 lbs with that 5 lb brace on but talking to her you wouldn't even know anything is wrong with her. I still get afraid sometimes b/c she doesn't seem to be really getting any worse so I sometimes have a false sense of security about her diagnosis and it makes me think she is going to be ok. I just thought I would give an update. Thanks for listening. Connie

Thanks for the posts. Mom was able to manage her pain pretty well on Monday with taking her tylenol every six hours but she felt like she was taking too much so yesterday she decided not to take any during the day. Big mistake, she suffered for it last night. But since then, she has finally decided she is going to take the tylenol regularly until it doesn't work anyone and then she will take the pain meds that her doctor prescribed for her. Today has been a good day. At this point, we are going to take it one day at a time and just control the pain as it comes. She is so strong and a remarkable women. I am so proud to be her daughter. Thanks for all your prayers.

Thanks for your responses. After the doctor visit my mom had been doing pretty good according to her until today. She called me wanting me to come and talk about things. After I left her this morning, she experienced the severe pain in her chest and back. She thought it was a heart attack so she went ahead and took her aspirin and went to sleep (which usually helps to releave the pain). She woke up a couple hours later still experiencing pain and called me. She said it wasn't as bad as it had been but it was still hurting. I went over there and b/c she still doesn't want any pain meds or she didn't want to go to the hospital, I made her take her usual tylenol. I fixed her some lunch and she felt alittle better and decided she wanted me to leave so she could sleep. I spoke with her later and she was still hurting but she said it wasn't nothing she couldn't handle until bedtime to take another tylenol. I begged her to let me stay with her tonight but she refused. I know at some point I am going to have to insist but she gets so upset. I am going to call the doctor tomorrow to let him know what is going on. My mom is adamant about not taking pain meds. With her being handicapped and alittle unsteady on her crutches when she is not wearing her brace (she only takes it off at night)she does not want to mess her head up with pain meds. They do hit her hard. She said that is going to be the last resort. It had to be bad for her to tell me (she doesn't want anyone else to know). I guess this is the beginning. Oh and about Hospice, we had a family member and a close friend to the family to both have bad experiences with Hospice so my mom is against it. Fortunately, I work in emergency services and have several friends who is willing to administer any meds that her doctor prescribes. Thanks for listening.

Well it has been almost 5 mos since we were first told that my mom had lung cancer and could only possibly have 3 to 6 mos to live w/o treatment. My mom does not have a regular physician except for her cardiologist who she has been seeing every 6 mos for 14 years and actually they have become very good friends. When my mom was told about the cancer, she actually had a regular scheduled appt with her cardiologist the next week so she took the CT scan results to him to get his response. Actually his response with tears in his eyes was "are you sure you do not want to get treatment" and her response was that she did not want that. So he agreed to take on her care from that point on. All that said, my mom went to the doctor today and of course she didn't want to tell him everything. She did tell him that she was having some occasional pain in her rib area that goes thru to her back. She didn't tell him that she felt like her left side was deteriorating or that her left breast had almost deteriorated away. But with what she told him he advised that he thought her pain was from skeletal with arthritis. He said that she would have pain if it had got into her bones but the only way to really know that for sure is to do a bone scan which mom will not agree to. I asked him if the pain could be from the mass in her lung and he advised he does not think that is what it is and that he doesn't think that it has got into her bones. Also she has lost more weight. When she went to the doctor in September 2005 she weighed 115 lbs (with 5 lbs being her brace). In April 2006, she weighed 100 lbs and she now weighs 96 lbs including her brace. The doctor has said many times that her best medicine is her attitude b/c she has a wonderful attitude. What I am wondering if he is just trying to keep her attitude the way it is by giving her response she wanted to hear and am I just overreacting about the pain she is experiencing even though this pain has only been occuring for about 3 mos. Sorry for such a long post.

Hi I am new to this site and was just wondering is anyone can tell me what to expect. My mom is 75 years old and is handicapped, she walks with a brace on one leg and with crutches. She had polio as a small child. She has been battling post-polio for years which weakens your muscles. We also just lost my dad suddenly in June 2005. She went to the doctor for a cold in March, 2006 and the doctor was concerned about a mass he saw in her xray and immediately sent her to the hospital for a CT scan. The CT scan came back with an indication of bronchocarcinoma in the left lung with mets to her lymph node and adrenal gland. The doctor told her she most likely had only 3 to 6 months. She immediately decided she did not want a biospy or any kind of treatment. So we do not know what type of cancer or even confirmed for sure that it is cancer. It has been almost 5 months and her only indications of the cancer is a pain in her ribs that sometimes shifts to her back. She says it doesn't bother her all the time. She just cannot lay on her left side or back without extreme pain. She says she is losing more strengh from her left arm. She is also having more pain than usual from her joints. Two days ago she said she had severe pain in her left arm, chest pains, pain in her neck and back pain. She thought she was having a heart attack. But since that time her pain is minimal. She has never liked to take meds and has a very high tolerance for pain. She has been able to control her pain with just taking tylenol. Does anyone know what I can expect from any of these symptoms.