-Cheryl-

Holly, Perhaps there are no such things as accidents. Maybe your Bill wanted you to find the tape, now when you need it most. May you find comfort in it. Cheryl

Lisa, I am on a trial at Mary Crowley's located on the 3rd floor of Baylor Hospital in the Sammon's Cancer Treatment Center. I am doing a trial called CT2103 (paclitatol/carblplatin.) It acts more like a smart bomb, seeking out cancer and binding to it. It has fewer side effects than tradtional chemo, cause few healthy cells are effected; therefor, one can have more of the drug administered than normal. I have had no hair loss, less nausea, and am able to work full time. Some exhaustion and neuropathy in my toes, but as long as it works who cares! Another trial, for those who are running out of chemo options is PT100. I met a woman while getting chemo, who was geting it and she said her appetite was good. She was tired, and had some thinning of the hair. She had a 30 % reduction of her tumor I believe. If this works, I will do 20 weeks total. Then follow up with the vaccine. The vaccine is like GVAX, but made from other people's tumors like yours. Dr. Senzor said that it was actually better. Now, I do not know about that, but the trial criteria for GVAX is stiff because of the FDA. The researchers had a death trying to get at cancer cells from a tumor within the lung. They will only take cancerous plueral effussions, or easy to get to cancerous nodes, usually in the neck. I searched the net, and had made up my mind to get treated at MD Anderson Center. However, Dr. Nemunaitis came to visit me wile I was in the hospital being treated for a large pericardial effusion, and plueral effusions. I was impressed with him. He is the Dr. doing the GVAX trial that all the buzz is about. I was impressed that he took time to visit me upon my surgeons request. I was referred to him by my surgeon, Dr. kourlis, who has done a couple of thorasic surgeries on me now, He is one top notch guy and recommend him if you ever need any heart or lung surgery, he is really thorough. I use to not think much of DR. Kourlis, who is not known for his friendly demenor. I laugh about it now. He once came into my room demanding that I "get up out of that bed!" I looked at him in shock and said, "O.K., can I wait till the IV is done first." Anyway, he didn't realize I was plugged into the wall. I probably already walked 4 times that day anyway! I know he is serious about saving me, and takes it personal, if I don't do my part. He is always so serious. I try to make him laugh. It takes a few minutes for stuff to sink in, like he will laugh a couple of minutes later. Let me know if I can help in anyway. Cheryl

Shawn, Oh Honey, I am so sorry. Your mom was such a fighter and we all adored her. She sure worried about leaving you behind. I too lost both of my parents to cancer, within two weeks of one another very young. It seems senseless, but God has a purpose for our suffering. I don't know God's purpose for your mom, but she inspired and motivated me. She my Dear, had more will to live, than anyone I have ever seen. God recieved a special lady in his kingdom. May you be comforted in knowing that her pain is no more. You will see her again too. God bless you and help you through this time of loss. Cheryl

Dr. Joe, My team of doctors all conferred, but it was my oncologist who called the shots. Every doctor I have met has felt compelled to give me the statistics. I knew what my odds were already, because I had researched the internet extensively. Probably not a good idea. It was all pretty grim, until I found this web site. I found hope for the first time! I actually met people like Connie B., who with my stage of disease, is still here after 9 years of her diagnosis! I wiped away my tears and put back on the fighting gloves. I read something in a book given to me by my sister, called Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul: As I ate breakfeast one morning, I overheard two oncologists conversing. One complained bitterly, "You know, Bob, I just don't understand it. We used the same drugs, the same dossage, the same schedule and the same entry criteria. Yet I got a 22 percent response rate and you got a 74%. That's unheard of for metastatic cancer. "How do you do it?" His colleague replied, "We are both using Etoposide, Platinum, Oncovin and Hydroxyurea. You call yours EPOH. I tell my patients I'm giving them HOPE. As dismal as the statistics are, I emphasize that we have a chance." If your doctor belives in the cure, so do you. Plus we are all different and unique. The same treatment works differently in everybody. You can't go by those old statistics tried on older, very sick patients, who basially had a dismal outlook to begin with. I am stronger, with no other health problems. Most importatnly, I have the desire to live! I would rather die trying then to let this disease take me like it did my Dad, Grandpa, and Great Grandma. I have been told attitude doesn't make a difference when you have lung cancer. I don't think you buy that either! So, in answer to your question, I would tell a patient if they ask. However, offer encouragement by letting them know they are not a statistic, and explain how that average was arrived at. Leave them with hope somehow . If one thinks there are options left, they see a future with themselves in it. Telling a person about survivors helps tremendously. Thanks for caring Joe. Cheryl

Nina, I had cisplatin/ VP16, while doing radiation. It was not easy, but effective. I was Adeno-BAC stage 3A, and it shrunk down the cancer enough to have surgery. I was NED, but had 3 small nodules in the other lung, which weren't showing up on a PET scan. I suspected it was cancer myself. I think my doctors did too. if anything it would give me a shot by getting rid of the primary. and the nodules might be benign. My surgeon was aggressive, and thought it was my best shot at a cure. I am glad he did. I would do it again, if given the same choice. Best Luck in your treatment, Cheryl

Bruce, Just saw this post. Glad all is well so far. I am sure the colonoscopy will turn out good too. Cheryl

Bruce, JUst checking in on you. Hope all is well and that your visit was routine. Cheryl

Oh Angie, Tears are swelling up and spilling on to my shirt right now. I know only too well of what you speak of. I can remember feeling such guilt. I wanted the suffering to end and felt guilty for hoping God would take him in his sleep, and guilty because I couln't take anymore. I was so tired of my own mental pain. I remember thinking "this isn't my father." It was horrible, and I too will probably die that same way. Death is very unpleasant. It is so not fair. Cancer is the worst disease, because it does rob you of your dignity. My poor Daddy, he kept apollogizing for me having to wipe his butt. Iwould just tell him, "Hey, look how many times you did that for me!" It shouldn't be too much longer now. I know how you too hate to see your father suffer like this, but really he is not in any pain, God is merciful. It is just so hard to watch I know. I would ask my Dad if he knew me, and he would say "your my baby." My Dad had lucid moments, despite the tumor growing on his brain stem. Angie, it took years to not be mad at God for taking him, or him for not fulfilling his promise of "living forever." I really believed him. I was such a Daddy's girl. The one consolation, is knowing that his death was painless. It comforts me in my own disease. I do not want to die yet, but know that when it is time, I will not suffer. God has promised me eternity, and I trust and have faith in our Lord. Our time here is really so brief. WE all have to die. Angie, do not despair though, you will see him again in all his glory. Please PM me if you like. May the lord comfort you in your fear and sorrow. Much Love, Cheryl

Charolette, My heart is so heavy for your family. How is your husband holding up. Please let him know he is in all of our prayers as well as your family. We are here for you when ever you need us. So sorry about this news. Much love and support, Cheryl

Joe, Thanks for your input. I appreciate your expertise. To all of you, thanks for responding. I hate how obsessed I become about the details of treatment. It has become a new found avocation. I wish I could do anything half-assed (pardon my french.) I am obsessive-compulsive about somethings. I hate that about myself. It can be both a blesssing and a curse. It is forever a battle, to let things so. It doesn't bode well with my "Type A" personality, Ha! I have on the contrary, made great strides in improvement in this area, as you can see, much work is needed still. you guys are so informative though. Fay A., you should have gone to med school yourself! TAnne, how did the brain scan go today. That is by far the most stressful test. I think most will agree here to that. Frankly, I would rather have a root canal. Just thinking about you. Love to you all, Cheryl

Lisa, I wish that it were that cut and dry. We know what can cause cancer, but only 15% of smokers get lung cancer. Your husbands cancer is squamous cell, directly related to smoking. Yet, he did not smoke. I myself have adenocarcinoma- BAC subtype. I can trace 4 generations of people diagnosed with lung cancer in my family, only of which 2 smoked. My doctor said that it is God's way of eliminating the population. That was not what I wanted to hear, but I suppose he had a valid point. Still, why did I get lung cancer? Why is God picking on me? Am I not a good person? Why not me? These question will drive you crazy. It is really how you perceive yourself. I don't like being a victim, nor a martar. I chose to send out a message. I am trying to help kids from ever starting. I work as a counselor, and am over a Child and Adolescent Mental Health Program. I will not let the Devil have a victory over me. I'll use this disease to help others. I am no body special, but this disease, like it or not, makes me special. I can let it beat me, or use it to stop young people from ever starting smoking. You are in a position to impact other's lives as well! I can feel sorry for myself, which still happens from time to time, or become active to help others. I quit blaming myself for getting this disease. This is one of the few diseases, where we blame the cancer patient- that is sad to me. Why don't we blame others for their diseases too, like breast cancer patients for their high fat diets? Lisa, I think we are programed genetically to get diseases. I quit smoking, and still got cancer, probably would have anyway. Perhaps my body was programed to self-destruct at a certain age. Not many people get lung cancer as young as I. Biologically, my body is reacting to toxins in the environment. Cancer cells are genetic mutations out of control. Given my family's history of smoking, my Father was a chemical engineer, I grew up outside of Wash. D.C., ran behind bug spraying Deete truck when I was young, used fossil fuels, both parents smoked.... God Lisa the list just goes on. We know what causes LC, but why do certain people get LC? Trying to find the who or what to blame is a fruitless search. Lets focus instead on a cure! Please don't be offended by my post. I don't mean to sound angry, but as a lung cancer survivor, I hate the stigma, and that is what happens when we focus on cause. Lets focus on the Cure instead. Join the crusade to help us find a cure. Your sister in this war, Cheryl

Hey Folks, I just got back from getting blood work. As most of you kow, I am on a trial CT2103 (or better known as carboplatin/paclitaxol.) The doctor wants me back on Tuesday for more blood work. He wants to check my liver function which is elevated to AST(GOTH 144.0 and ALT(GPTH 208.0. I aso had another aranesp shot due to low WBC and platelets. The doctor said it could be the chemo. or it could be cancer! Cancer in my Liver is all I could think off. I am a worry wart as it is. I will obssess about this till it is resolved!!! Please my friends give, me your consenus on this. What do you think? Could this be from chemo effects, or cancer mets to the liver. I had a CT 2 weeks ago and nothing was there. Could mets evade my liver while on chemo when my kidney mets have shrunk. I want off this roller coaster!!! God I think not knowing may be better, I get less depressed. Please talk some rational sense into me. Cheryl

Donaf, He went so fast. Please accept my most sinere sympathy. I am sorry his wife was not in the room with him mortally, but I bet he was with her spiritually. My prayers for you all, Cheryl

Wow! I long to hear those wonderful words myself. God is Great! Cheryl

Just know that it is for Katie's sake. It will give Katie a chance to know her mother in a different light, and be a big help to you too. You are a better man for it. You don't have to like it, Ha! I think you will win her respect. You now have mine. Cheryl

Curtis, This will not be an easy trip for you or Georgene. I mean think about it, you and Katie are all Grandma has left of Becky in the physical sense. Georgene cannot court another daughter. And the reality of Becky's death will seem so real when you see old photos and Georgine's face smiling back you. It will not be an easy weekend for anyone involved. I am so impressed that you are taking Katie to see Grandma. You have shown me just how important Katie is to you. Always put her first my friend. That beautiful little girl created by you and Becky is a blessing from God. Never foresake this beautiful treasure. Sincerely, Cheryl

Pap paw Bruce, So dadburn glad you have returned. Don't scare us again. Glad to have you home, albeit a couple of quarts low! Cheryl

Dolly, I am so saddened to hear of Kirby's passing. I hope that you are not alone and have family to share your grief. Please accept my deepest condolences. Cheryl

Carleen, I had been looking for your posts, but sorry to have found you in this situation. As tears spill on to my desk at work, I try to think of excuses for my appearance. I wish that I could make it all better for you both, and am so sorry that you two are having to endure such a burden at such a young age. But if you knew that Keith would wind up with such a horrible disease, it would not stop you from loving him the time you have. I am only sorry that this disease may rob you of the years deserved. He is a fighter, and as strong as I have seen. I pray sweet Jesus for more time and a cure. Amen, Cheryl

yahooo!!! yippie!!! Tell me more about the procedure. Cheryl

DEbi, I am waiting to hear back from a lady named Ann, who lives right on Lake Tawokoni! Thats atleast 5! We could check out any cabins and maybe boating. WE have a pontoon that holds 15 at a time. Cheryl

God bless Becky and her family. -Jack-

WE will do one of these days! What I would like most is to plan something here at the house, or at the lake Tawakoni. OKDeb had a great idea of trying to block out some cabins at a lake in Oklahoma. You guys suggest the time, place and event? I would love tomeet other survivors. I personally know known. Cheryl

Yeah way to go!!! Katie and Rick Rock!!! Cheryl

Oh David, You bet ya. I know just what your going through, as do so many of your friends here. Just know that the chemo is doing its job dear friend. You and your family are in my prayers. God hear my prayers and make this young man healthy and whole. In your precious name Dear Lord, Cheryl