-Cheryl-

KIm, Glad to have you and your mom with us, despite the unfortunate circumstances. Treatment is tough, but look at the alternative, Le me know if I can help in any way. Cheryl

Good to hear all clear Becky! Jack

Jonathan, Unfortunately, my husband was layed off from this same Company in a mass layoff. He now manages and maintains our investment properties and does not have S/E insurance. My insurance covers us both. Mary, Thanks for the offer. I'm thinking more of a flame throwing tank. Do you know any one that I can borrow one from? I am defiately documenting everything, it is about all I can do. I called the ADA and the EEOC. My boss has not done anything legally wrong according to the law. The ADA does not consider cancer to be a disability. He has the right to ask me if I am mentally compotent! He is not allowed to ask me about my disease though. I just do not get it? Well, he sure acted differently toward me today. Perhaps he thinks I am going to sue his a**! When I asked him "where this was comming from" the day of our meeting, he described a couple of incidents. One incident was me missing a meeting and the other was an appointment. I fired of a e-mail to him today asking for the minutes of said meeting, and told him the e-mail about the meeting was not found in my computer mail over the last two months, could he provide the documentation of it to me? He e-mailed me back and had no min., nor any memo about the mandatory meeting. I also put out a memo demanding that my employees turn in their progress notes typed within 24 hours. They are expected to report to me at the end of each day. That should keep them from splitting at 3:00 everyday. So, despite being close to home they will still have to come in from the field, where they go out to see clients (They are social workers basically.) Our county is close to 50 miles from one end to the other. No, the little back stabers want more supervision, they got it! Pay back will be fun! I'm just doing my job. I will show them just how competent I really am as their supervisor. Cheryl

Beth, How frightening! Chemo sucks! Not as bad as this disease though. I am praying your doctors can find the right magic bullet for you. I love your attitude. Yes, just think what its doing to that blasted cancer!!! Praying for you girl! Cheryl

TAnn, I am sick to hear about this for you. You certainly don't deserve this. Of course you are scared my Dear. The unknown is always scarey. but you have conquered some pretty heaviy duty treatments thus far. You are truely a cancer warrier. The mets are very small, and very treatable right now. I myself have always feared getting them, and am not immune from getting them still. I wish that I could somehow make you feel better. I wish I could make them disappear for you. Don't worry TAnn, this treatment will make them disappear for you. You are in my prayers and thoughts, Cheryl

Pamela, thanks for responding and offering your opinion. Mean spirited and hateful is how you described Bo's post if that is what you read into it. I don't think Bo came out of the blue and blasted this person, I think quite the contrary. I think these 2 had some diagreements prior to this episode and I feel Bo felt he was pushed past his limit, after all, like everyone here, we are all under a great deal of stress to begin with. Sometimes we all look at the effects and never question the cause. Like in a football game, the guy that throws the first punch rarely gets caught... it's always the guy that retaliates that gets the flag. In answering how I think the correct way to handle it would be? That is very hypothetical because Cheryl doesn't seem to put herself in that position as she has never had incidents like these. If it came out of the blue from a guy and for no reason.... I'd probably want to rip his head off. No, God wouldn't like it, but that's how I would feel. Those that didn't get a chance to read the post before it was erased, would have been shocked. Yes, Bo had some unpleasant things to say (loudmouth being the worst) but the responses were downright dreadful. Like "TERMINATE YOUR MEMBERSHIP NOW", and so on. Almost a RIOT type of atmosphere. Pretty sad. You would think that the person for whom Bo had the argument with would be willing to ask him back personally by now. I guess holding a grudge is the cool thing to do these days. Hope I answered some of your questions Pamela... thanks for listening to my opinion as well as giving yours. Jack

Oh Charolette, I am very sorry about your loss. This must be so taxing on you, to see your love ones in pain. Please accept my most sincere sympathy. Please take care of you. Cheryl

My post in the general section explains one.... Jack

Yes, and lets continue to gang tackle the individual that is unlucky enough to have the so called "bad day." Bruise him up real bad! It seems to me there is an awful lot of similarities between the few flare ups that have occured here on this board. Imagine that! Jack

Someone needs to "STICKY" this post! Thank you Lisa! Jack

I am by no means holier than thou but I think a travesty has been done here. God says to be forgiving and patient, and that happens a lot on this board. When it doen't happen is when it's devestating. BoBenett is a cancer survivor fighting this disease... He has the same dilemnas all others stricken with disease have on a daily basis, including anger and pain. Bo had a confrontation with someone on this board, and now, he has been blown out. He still has cancer and all of the bad to go w/ it and now he has lost 1400 supporters. Is this what this board is all about? Have any of you been pushed to the point where you said some things you maybe wished you wouldn't have had to say? If you have not, congratulations, you are PERFECT. Some on this board even admtted not reading that post but still wanted to crucify him. What is with this "gang up mentality"? The God I know does not condone that and in fact is a tool the devil uses. I would ask that the members of this Board invite Bo back. I thought Bo contributed a whole lot here... I know the few times he posted to Cheryl, he was very informative and civil... like he probably is 99.9% of the time. If you feel like you are better than that, then don't. Jack

Lyn, the HR Director was none to stmpathetic the when I was first diagnosed. He was over heard going down the hall making a comment to my boss about inheriting a mess, an employee who wouldn't produce revenue, but costing the company money. My name wasn't mentioned, but DUH? I have delibertly been the number one in production for the company as a result. He called me right before surgery to tell me if I even went one day over my FEML I would be let go. That is why I went back in only less than 3 weeks, for fear of termination. I was scare to take a day of sick leave. I also bet this all started as a result of me having to wear a mask to work because my white blood count is so low and I work with indigent kids. So out of fear of risking an infection, I wear a mask. I hate it , but need to work. Thanks for the information. Cheryl

What a wonderful idea!!!! I can't wait to buy some cookbooks to give as gifts. Cheryl

I think PProctor hit the nail on the head. Jack

All of you have some really good advice and I WILL FOLLOW IT, REST ASSURED! In Dec. I will have been there 10 years. I have seen too many employees come and go to even name. There are only 3 positions for an LPC and about 100 employees that work for our agency. I am over the Child and Adolescent Program, and all my staff but one has their master's degree. They are overeducated and underpaid, so I can see why they may want my job. I mentioned that I had met with the CEO and was just probing for information. One of my staff outed himself accidently over my missing my appointments. Another employee backed me up by saying "Yeah, I remembered you trying to call them and asking me to cover for you. I have a good idea about who started the mental competence thing. She has filled in for me while I was in the hospital and hated when I came back and had to step down. I recall a meeting with her in which I had to remind her I was her superior. I am going to call a meeting with my staff next week, any advice on what to say or how to handle it? Plus, I was so shocked by my boss this past Thurs. by asking me if I was "mentally competent", that I hardly knew what to say to next. Should I call a meeting with him, or just leave it alone? I have already taken your advice and started documenting. There is an irrational part of me that wants to use a voodoo doll and put a curse on them all, but I am afraid it might work. I wouldn't want to wish cancer on even my worst enemy. I think God is watching, and despite my ill wishes, the chances of them getting cancer already is something like 80% or over their life time anyway??? So they will experience my pain likely themselves someday. Besides, what goes around comes around. The employee who threw me under the bus has been going threw her own hell lately. Her father died, her fertility treatment failed, and now she is headed for a divorce. So I am asking God to help me resolve my anger for her, and instead feel compassion. Perhaps she has justfied her actions because she needs the financial gain. The other staff who threw me in the grease, just bought a house and wants to get married. He applied for a manager position in one of our sister agencies, but was overlooked. Maybe he wants my postion for the money too. Sad thing is, I don't make that much more than them, we are a non- for-profit agency. It could also be the power. I'm sorry this is so long. I really need to vent. I just feel like they are all buzzards, circling around waiting for me to die. They can't wait to have my job. It really is insulting to have them question my mental competency. Thanks for listening to me rant. Maureen, good luck with your WBR. You are in my prayers. I like you, must keep my job, because Jack was laid off. My employment is our only insurance. Thank you all for you posts and really good advice. Cheryl

I am so upset right now that I don't know what to do! My boss asked to meet with me privately, then he asks me if I think that I am menatally competent to do my job!!!! I told him that of course I am competent and could do my job. Though I do get tired, that doesn't take away from my ability to see patients. The tears are flowing right now. I told him that I would step down if I couldn't do my job. I asked him how he came to that conclusion? He wouldn't say, only that I had missed a meeting ( on my birthday my sisters took me out to lunch, ad no one told me about the meeting. It was my first day back after surgery) He also told me I missed two appointmnts one day, again I make my appts. People will say they have an appt. and just show up. Right day, wrong date, happens all of the time. That is it. I admitted that chemo can make one feel exhausted and in a bit of a fog, but that was short lived. It does not make me mentally incompetent. I am so hurt. I feel like this one employee (who doesn't have her license and won't for 2 years) is undermining me to get my job, like my disease is an opportunity for her. I am sickened because I supervised her as a student. I got upset and told my boss that my cancer has not compromised my ability as a therapist or a Director of Children's Services. I told him that I had an attorney and my job was protected. He said not if you aren't doing it competently. Then he said, I just wanted to meet with you and see how you were doing. Somebody was waiting to see him and he excused himself. What are my legal options and what can I do to protect myself. My job is my insurance, I am so sick and saddened by this. It was a shock, what should I do? I know this employee threw me under the bus. Cheryl

Sharon, I am so sorrry about your Dad. It is true, it is the hardest thing one could every do, besides taking care of a terminally ill child. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Cheryl

Welp once again noone can make a paticular date. I will let someone else come up with a day and place. Meanwhile, If any of you guys want yo meet for a get together drop me a PM.. I know it is hard to plan ahead with this disease, I understand. Cheryl

Yea!!!!!!! Good Job!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!! Cheryl

Ada, had a way to make you feel welcomed and cared about. She was a class act. Always possitive, and cnoncerned for others first. Jim, I miss her twi, She was one of the first poeople to welcome me. We were dignosed very similar, I took her loss hard, and still miss her. Thank you Ada for enetring my life. Cheryl

Mandy, My treatment before surgery helped to shrink down the cancer, thus making me a candidate for surgery. If the cancer is encapsulated, that makes the tumor easier to take; however, if cancer has already spread and too evasive, chemo is about all that can be done, no radiation if the area is to extensive. I imagine that surgeons must be careful to not leave behind microscpoic cancer cells, which is always a possibility. Once in the blood stream or lymphatic system there is potential for metastisis to receptive sites within the body. But surgery can actually cure cancer! Right now it is our best option. Cheryl

I take Zofrin, compazine, and phenegrin. All seem to help. I have heard that WBR can also cause nausea. We have had several fro this board, who have experienced this from WBR treatment. Blue Buyou is one of them. Cheryl

Jane, I am an LPC in the mental health field. I can remember a woman who came to see me for counseling, shortly after being diagnosed with breast cancer. She wore a wig, and looked so phsically beaten. The thing I remember most, was the anger that poured out of her as she spoke about the cancer. I offered her every possible way that I could think of to deal with her emotions of shock, anger, depression, and denial. When she was in a place to finally accept it, she began to move forward, have hope and even fight. I never saw her after that. Did I cure her of cncer? Probably not, but she again saw herself among the living, and began to fight. Nobody is responsible for your happiness, but you. In my own make believe story, she gets to live happily ever after. I myself lost both parents within two weeks of one another. I use to have difficulty treating cancer cases, because I would over-relate them. We base our knowlege on personal experiences. I'll never know what happened to her. It is not good for her to develop a dependancy on me, hopefully has moved on and is cancer free. It was really hard to change modes, and go from a caregiver to a recipiant of care. I still would rather help others, wouldn't you? I is an ego thing I guess. Cancer can actually be a gift if you let it. It can teach you many things about youself. I am challenging you to find what God is teaching you from this experience. I would be interested in your take. Being trainned to deal with trauma doesn't prevent it from happening to you. I mean, being a doctor doesn't stop cancer from happening to them either. It is hard to practice what you preach. I do my best. I graduated top in my class, but, that hardly makes me a good counselor? And book learning is not what helps people with their problems. It does however,give me the resources to help others. Everyday I learn something new. Just please, don't let this disease teach you something,and not make you into the "victim!" We have to talk sometime, PM me if you like. Welcome! Cheryl

Grumpy, So glad you are still around. What a testimny. You tell that Granddaughter thank you! We love you. Cheryl

Good luck Charlie and Tina. I hope all goes well with the trip and the trial! Cheryl