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Cheryl Ferguson

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    Painting- Caring for my animals

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  1. Cheryl passed away early Sunday morning. She leaves behind a cruel, rude world of people that care for nothing but themselves. A world where people say to you what they know you want to hear, even if it's a way for them to only to escape from you for that moment. Promises that aren't kept, people that swing their weight around and insist on and are consumed with power strggles that amount to nothing... Selfeshness to the point of nausea. Family members that manage to hide and cower behind excuse, after excuse, after excuse. She leaves a world of me, me, me'ers, and look how great I am kind of people... She leaves a world behind that turned their backs on her when she needed them most... Cowards, yellow belly's, traitors... pick one, they all fit. She leaves behid a medical and insurance system that is inept and sure to make you fail. She leaves behind a world that is falling apart right in front of everyones eyes and noone seems to notice or care. Cheryl leaves with us the hope she had for everyone..her caring and thoughtful ways, her true and honest show of support, her genuine concern for everyone. Nothing for show, or power, just plain old "true blue" concern. Try to find that in this selfish world... Try to find folks that don't have to tell you how great they are, and brag on what they have done. Yes, Cheryl simply did it w/out drawing attention to herself. There are a few like that left out there, so few that people don't even notice them... that's old school anymore. Respect, dignity and class hold no place in this world. I would like to thank Randy for inquiring about Cheryl and several others like, Debi, Kaylei, Karen and Grace(Haylee), who showed support for Cheryl during this difficult time. You people are truly special. Jack
  2. Thanks again for all of the nice remarks and the many E-mails. As a few of you already know, I am now entering a trial using the venom of the Scorpion from the Sinai Desert. They will be using the radioactive material that is used in treating Thyroid conditions in hopes that it will transferv the venom to the brain tumors. I am very tired and canot type very fast. Just thought I owed the many E-mailers an answer to how I was doing. The trial starts tomorrow. Thanks again, Cheryl
  3. First of all, I want to thank everyone who responded to my post. Many of you had some very nice things to say. I have received many PMs and am sorry I can't respond to them as management still deems it necessay to lock my responding abilities. I have managed to talk with some by E-mail and want to thank them for their responses as well. To clarify, Ned, if you would have read the first line of my post, your reply wouldn't have been necessary. I stated " for the people I know on this board"... In no way was I "painting everyone with a broad brush" (as you put it). Please do not try to put words in my mouth. Ned, I have never met you and this post was not directed to you. I'm sorry that you didn't like the fact that I used the words "insulted and offended", but that's how I felt about the people I had been talking to since 2003. That's just it, people come here for support to be able to deal with this disease and if they say the wrong thing, they are attacked. And some, want to put words in your mouth. I've even heard some say that they were intimidated to come on this board. Where is there room for that? That's the kind of thing that takes place in blogs, ect., not a cancer board, for crying out loud. This is not a blog and shouldn't be treated as one. I will say this, there are a lot of good folks on here that I do know. Some come to mind, Karen 335.. What a survivor with a heck of a lot of knowledge to share. KarenI in Australia, I remember how hard it was for your Father. Sorry I couldn't reply to you all. Alisa and her beatiful boys in New York, Sue and all she has had going on and the rest of you that were with me in my early stages. Even RandyW., what a nice guy with solid "true blue intentions. Don't know Randy, but in reading some of his responses, he is the real deal. Don't run him off. Yes Connie, I am still "lurking". I submitted a post and was checking my replies. Thats how this board works, right? Sorry you felt compelled to let everyone know how many times I have been logging on. So much for hiding my online status. Not a whole lot of privacy going on there. I am not a 10 year cancer survivor. I am right in the middle of a major fight. More brain mets have come up and some that may not be treatable. I'm scared, sorry. I have had 3 mini strokes in the last 20 days. I can't enjoy the feeling of taking life for granted. I can't play games. I'm tired and don't have energy to fight anything else but this cancer, and that's taking it's toll. I really don't have anything else to say, this has all been so trying. I wish everyone, and that means everyone on this board, the best of luck in their fight against this awful disease. My best, Cheryl
  4. Ginny, you did fight like a "Mama Tiger" for Earl and I remember your long and hard journey. Thanks for your kind words. Words that I would have liked to have said, but couldn't quite put it the way you just did. Thank you, Cheryl
  5. Thank you for your kind words Grace, and am sorry for your loss. Be proud that you were a super caregiver and did what you could for Carlton, even if it you had to do and say some things that you normally wouldn't have to. I would have not made it this far had it not been for Jack. Eileen, The PM I got recently from the longtime member was one, yes. When the incident happened with the Dr., our inbox was blasted by many longtime members, who said some very nasty things that my husband wouldn't even write down. The fact that these members are still on the board today, saying basically any and everything they desire, baffles me. Not one person has ever asked us for our explanation, we were simply dropped. That's what hurts. I wish I could thank you for your message, but again, it appears that more mud is being thrown on my husband. Though you admit it doesn't have anything to do with me, you put it out there as to justify members behavior. Nothing gets mentioned about the horrific PMs we got, because we were no longer allowed access to the board to explain. The change over to Lungevity is the reason I was able to get the ban lifted in the first place. I joined this board originally in 2003, I never suspected any of this would happen, but it did. Grace, Our PM capabilities are blocked so I cannot PM you. Thank you so much for offering. I would like to add. The original disagreement with the former doc started when my husband asked him why Brain MRI's weren't done on a more regular basis. I had just been diagnosed with Brain Mets and hadn't had a brain MRI in over 18 months. That dr. replied by saying it wasn't cost effective, which didn't settle right with my husband. We had the money and good insurance for the MRI but simply didn't know to ask. Had we known then, we would have demanded one much earlier. I will say that I have read many posts by your new Dr. West and must say that I am very impressed with his handling of all questions. He doesn't seem like he is the type tp quit on his patients. Cheryl
  6. I am grieving over the fact that people that I know on this board could care less what happens to me. Just because my husband is passionate and concerned for my well being and said a few things2 years ago that offended some on this board, I have been tossed to the side by you members. I tried to start back posting to offer my many experiences thinking maybe it would help someone, but have found that this board continues to hold a grudge against me and my husband. Just recently I received a PM from a longtime member snidely asking me why I still post, meaning the members don't want me posting anymore. I tried to tell her the reason, and that reason is that I have cancer. The lady that posted the e-mail was a caregiver and not one who has been stricken by this disease. My post was erased. I still have cancer and it's getting worse. The God I pray to would look down on me if I were to continue to hold grudges as you members have here. I posted over 1500 posts on this board during the 2 years I was a member. All of those have been erased by management, as this one probably will as well. People that claim to be straight up Christians, feel they need no longer care what happens to me. That truly hurts. I am sorry that my husband said something to a Dr. on this board that made him mad enough to quit. Seems to me, the Dr. at that time was getting tired of answering the plethora of questions and was searching for a way out anyway... He left by blaming my husband and has not spoken a word on this board since. I would only think that this particular Dr. will face many situations like this from concerned patients and caregivers. I guess he will simply do the same thing and run away. I have met people on this board, taken some to dinner, donated to this website and offered many may hours of support, only to be thrown to the side. I am ashamed of the people on this board that knew me and communicated with me over the years that absolutly ignore me now. I have done nothing to you and you refuse to offer support. I am the kind that stands beside someone, even if it isn't politically correct. I certainly get the message now. I will do all of you a great favor by leaving this board and never returning. I honestly hope that no one else has to experience cancer and then seek support from a board like this, only to find that he/she can easily, and with no conscience, be pushed to the side and forgotten... for any reason. Cheryl
  7. Praying for everyone. Cheryl
  8. This is the same trial I was on. E-mail me if I can help. [email protected] My best, Cheryl
  9. Cheryl Ferguson

    Dave G

    One of the originators... Dave was the first person to answer my post almost 4 years ago on this board. A career veteran who was admired by so many, and will now be missed dearly. He was truly an advocate for Lung Cancer research and devoted his last years to activism for a cure. After my first post, and it was full of fear, Dave answered and said, "Pull up to the keyboard and tell us all about it." He will be missed. Cheryl
  10. Guilt and fear are natural emotions. We all die. I just feel sorry for the young ones that didn't get the chance to experience life fully.... Cheryl
  11. Wow, I'm impressed! Your Mother certainly is a warrior and sounds like her onc is thinking ahead on this one. Radiation can hit weeks later. The blood counts will be key here... Keep her eating and drinking as much as possible. Sounds as if she has the fighting spirit...Looking for positive results! Cheryl
  12. I've been fighting this disease for almost 4 years... As recently as last week I asked my Onc if I should continue taking the vitamins on a particular trial I am on... As I've seen with many professionals in this field, he just shrugged his shoulders and said "I could if I wanted". Dr.s use very little counseling on nutrition as they truly don't believe it has much to do w/ fighting cancer. Though I don't agree with them, I am afraid this is what you are going to find. I know a person who was given less than 3 months to live(melanoma)... he went on the "macro-biotic" diet and stayed on it for a year. He lost a bunch of weight and stated after he finished that diet, he went and had a Big Mac and got violently ill. That was over 15 years ago. That diet is pretty hard to stick with though, but I am convinced, and so is he, that's what cured him. Wish I could be of more help. Cheryl
  13. If one gets to where one can't work, the HR dept. at his/her work should request that they go on the Federal Leave program. This will hold his/her job for 12 weeks(understand, 12 weeks does not mean 84 days... 12 weeks means 60 days). They will go back and count any days missed since diagnosis(whether it was due to the illness or not) and count that against the 12 weeks. The insurance should stay in tact. If the person comes back before the 12 weeks, their position must be maintained...watch out though, they will be counting every day missed after that, for a full year, to see if you go over the 60 day mark. If he/she can come back after her 12 weeks, the position may not be held. At that point, the employer can offer the lowest position with the low position pay. If he/she doesn't accept that position, the company can(and probably will) terminate the individual... the insurance then falls under Cobra, which is expensive. I'm sure there are some on here that have nothing but good things to say about their insurance... The longer this battle goes on with my cancer, the further away the insuarnce companies get. Cheryl
  14. The insurance compamy wants, if nothing else, the individual to feel guilty about having this disease, that it was their fault. Once that is in their mind, it makes them fight a little less(die sooner, which saves the Ins. Co. money) and ask a little less from the Insurance Co.(fight them over certain treatments-meds, which saves the Co. money). It's a psychological game and the patient usually ends up the loser. I have tumors in my brain and lungs but the insuance co. is fighting me over sleeping pills. They are concerned I will get addicted to them. God forbid that happens. I guess I'd be in a real mess then. Live long enough and you will see it all. I went from excellent insurance coverage(employer, I was a policyholder for 15 years)to the next step, Cobra Coverage... this what you are pushed into when the law says your insurance coverage no longer has to honor it's committments. This Cobra coverage is so high, (to cover 2 in a family, the premium was $1570 per month)it's designed and set up to make you fail. It gets worse after Cobra runs out (18 months). It's you and Medicare after that. Like I said, live long enough and you'll see it all. Sorry you are experiencing this at these dificult times. but insurance co's happen to be a part of the reason this is difficult. Cheryl
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