morgan66

thanks again for all the wonderful advice and the kind words. I have been trying to find out as much info as I can and pass it on to them. MIL is really too weak to read or even talk at this time so all info needs to be relayed to the rest of the family at this time.

My mother in law does not want to fight this. I do understand that they are not trying to worry anyone. The last time that her and I talked she told me that it just had not sunk in yet and that she wanted time to be able to accept it before she made any decisions and that she is being pushed into making decisions that she is not ready to make. There are tons of discepancies in what everyone is being told and fortunately her best friend who they have been friends with for about 50 years just came in from out of state to stay with them for a while. She lost both of her parents and both of her in laws to cancer. I met her for the first time yesterday. I told her that she needs to have a talk with my mother in law and find out exactly what she wants and how she wants things to be with regard to everything. She said that she has been trying since she got her a few days ago and ever time she tries someone interrupts them. My husband and I are going out there today to help his dad with stuff around the house. He is having a very hard time with things as he never did anything around the house andis having to learn all this new in the past month. I do want to thank everyone for the kind words, good advice and well wishes. This seems like a great community and everyone seems very supportive.

I am so glad that I found this message board and have read a lot of posts and found so much useful info. My mother in law was just diagnosed several weeks ago. She has lung cancer and is in phase 4. It has spread to her lymph nodes, liver, bone marrow and blood. I belive that she knew that she was sick for quite some time and she never went to the dr until one day she was just too weak to get up. She had dropped weight to 90 pounds before she started chemo. She is trivializing the entire thing. She told everyone that she had a small spot on the outside of her lung and that was it. My brother in law is in remission from non hodgkins lymphoma. He was able to obtain some records from the dr and found out just how progressed it was. He said that he spoke to the dr a few days ago and the dr said that she is termimal and that at best the chemo can buy her a few extra months. My father in law says that the drs say that she has a good chance of beating this. She was very adamant about not wanting any treatments at all. My husband and father in law practically forced her to go start chemo last week. Right now she is really weak and has been in bed for weeks before she even started her chemo. She is anemic, not eating and can barely sit up in bed and can hardly walk with someone practically carrying her. My husband and I can't get any time off of work unless it is life or death so we spend our weekends helping them and are not able to get to any of the dr appointments or chemo sessions. Has anyone ever heard of someone recovering from this with having spread so much?

Kathleen, You did the right thing. It sounds like you supported your mother's decision based on well founded advice. I think that you did the right thing by sending everyone the same email instead of calling people on the phone. It is easier to send the same message to so many people and spend your time with your mother instead of talking on the phone. When you father said that it is funny how those are so far away have so much advice to share it is so true. My mother in law was just diagnosed and the entire family is in an uproar over the situation. She knew that she was sick for a long time and did not see a dr or say anything unil she was too weak to get up one day. Her wish was to not have any sort of treatment.