I imagine what it would be like to be living my life right now if mom were here. And I can't...because it wouldn't be this life.
It's like when Marty comes back to 1985 and everything has changed.
Sophie wouldn't be Sophie...she'd be someeone else...maybe a he even?!? Maybe there would be two by now. But I lovee my little girl just the way she is.
Her middle name wouldn't have been Randilyn after my mom.
Whoever Sophie'd be I know I wouldn't have the same relationship with her that I have, because I work really hard to love her because she is missing the love my mom would have given her.
I wouldn't know all of you (except Rickey, I'd havee known him).
I wouldn't garden like I do.
I would know my wife was devoted, but not like I know after watching her hold mom's hand as she died, eulogizing her, working so hard on this foundation in mom's memory.
I don't know that I'd have the job I have today if my perspective hadn't changed with mom's passing.
I wouldn't have made the changes to my diet I've made and thus wouldn't be as healthy as I am today.
I've become far more sympathetic.
We all say we hate the new normal...and believe me, I still miss mom and want her here with me...but every single one of these things above...I like them. I like them a lot. They are very positive things...and these are things mom basically gave me through her passing.
Total mind bender. I want her back, but if she never left...look at all I would have never gained!