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Nick C

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Everything posted by Nick C

  1. Nick C

    Mind bender

    I imagine what it would be like to be living my life right now if mom were here. And I can't...because it wouldn't be this life. It's like when Marty comes back to 1985 and everything has changed. Sophie wouldn't be Sophie...she'd be someeone else...maybe a he even?!? Maybe there would be two by now. But I lovee my little girl just the way she is. Her middle name wouldn't have been Randilyn after my mom. Whoever Sophie'd be I know I wouldn't have the same relationship with her that I have, because I work really hard to love her because she is missing the love my mom would have given her. I wouldn't know all of you (except Rickey, I'd havee known him). I wouldn't garden like I do. I would know my wife was devoted, but not like I know after watching her hold mom's hand as she died, eulogizing her, working so hard on this foundation in mom's memory. I don't know that I'd have the job I have today if my perspective hadn't changed with mom's passing. I wouldn't have made the changes to my diet I've made and thus wouldn't be as healthy as I am today. I've become far more sympathetic. We all say we hate the new normal...and believe me, I still miss mom and want her here with me...but every single one of these things above...I like them. I like them a lot. They are very positive things...and these are things mom basically gave me through her passing. Total mind bender. I want her back, but if she never left...look at all I would have never gained!
  2. Nick C

    I just miss him

    Sometimes you need a little ebb to flow forward. I hope you have easier days ahead.
  3. Carleen, it just isn't fair...
  4. That's so much...I am so sorry. Very sad to read.
  5. Your dad has our prayers for sure... I'm sure he's going to be 100% AOK, but I could imagine how nerve racking it is and we'll be here to listen and to support! Oh, FIL I think is a 12 year survivor.
  6. The first Christmas for sure is hard, I had a lot of tears. I hope you find moments of joy among the sadness in the months that lead up. And I hope when we are through this season, you will be happy with however you chose to do it.
  7. Wow, this just out and out SUCKS.
  8. I just love the way that sounds.
  9. I'm so sorry to hear your dad has passed. You clearly did a wonderful job as a care giver.
  10. I know it's after the fact. but any day you need to take off in my opinion is a day you should take. I took off a good amount of time around mom's birthday and anniversary of her passing... And your dad was very special!
  11. Mom was diagnosed 3 years ago today? Unreal. I gardened all day and then had the opportunity to speak to a room of folks about our foundation...and raised some $ for research. Tried to make the day as worthy as possible. Now just blasting out some golf tourney e-mails... I also got the NICEST note from one of my mother's friend's daughter...here it is: I saw your mom a few days before we heard she passed. I saw her on the side of the road going into a store. My first thought was to stop (I had not seen her in a while and she had not meet my son Sean and I wanted them to meet) But I thought "there is plenty of time" (not knowing she was sick again) When I heard she passed I wanted to kick myself for not stoping. Randy had taught me so much in the years i knew her, go figure she taught me another thing right before passing. Never wait till tomorrow, do it today!!! She was the strongest person I have ever and will ever meet. Some of her influences are the reason I am the woman I am today. She always told me when I was being bitchy or not being fair. She taught how to handle some of lifes little chalenges (weather I wanted to hear it or not) When my parents got divorced, Randy was always over helping us with something or another. And I like to think we were there for here when she needed someone too. (me and my mom) Sorry to vent like this, I just kind of feel like telling you these thing makes Randy hear them in some way. I have dealt with a lot of deaths in my life. But Randy, I just can't find closure. Just writing this I'm balling my eyes out. sorry.... My mom was amazing. I miss her.
  12. Just too hard to accept. This type of thing breaks my heart.
  13. Bobby, of course we remember you. It's really nice to hear form you./
  14. Nick C

    Margaret Rose

    I'm so very sorry to hear of the passing of your mom.
  15. No one likes to reverse course on the theories they are vested in. My frat brother who was diagnosed with Breast cancer is a big "sugar feeds cancer" guy too. He steers clear as much as reasonably possible.
  16. I'm sorry Debbie...I'm sure it stirs many feelings as well as being a loss of a friend.
  17. Are you saying the 80% medicare is cheaper because it is government run versus the 20% supplemental is more expensive because it is privately run?
  18. I can't beleive it has been two years. I hope you have a wonderful celebration...I'm glad those around you are supportive and understanding. That's huge. But still very sorry it has been two years.
  19. If it's localized, I'd definitely look at the targetted therapies like cyberknife/gamma knife and the like...a lot less collateral damage than straight up radiation.
  20. I'm really sorry to read this. My thoughts and prayers are with her husband and family and you too Connie.
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