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Nick C

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Everything posted by Nick C

  1. This is such a great idea! I know in the last few days I've learned a lot I didn't know about Stephanie. I think that might actually be what I will always remember...and maybe she has taught me about everyone here. Every avatar and name here is MUCH bigger than what we see here. She touched people, she was smart, had interests and what strikes me as a very gratifying existence. And I don't think I ever got a full appreciation of that until now.
  2. Nick C

    Stephanie

    This sucks, she touched a lot of lives! So hard to grasp.
  3. I can't remember my mom's phone number. Made me very sad.
  4. Nick C

    No one knows

    I think we are wired to be relational beings. We aren't supposed to be alone. I think anyone who doesn't understand (or at least try to understand) that new relationships don't in anyway eliminate the depth of other relationships just isn't trying very hard.
  5. It's such a raw deal, to get a lung cancer diagnosis. First off, I am so very sorry. I can tell by your post (5 years ago, I could have wrote parts of this myself) that this is still so raw and new for you. Loss is so hard. Cancer just sucks. When you are in the midst of the fight, it just doesn't seem right that sometimes there are not alternatives, or at least no good ones. No one should be in pain, so why is my loved one in pain and no one can do anything? My loved one is a fighter, that should be enough! It is so unfair. It sounds like your mom was blessed to have you by her side. However, that doesn't make the ordeal and the memory of it any easier for you to digest. You'll have a lot of emotions now. When you need to get it out, this is the place to do it.
  6. Terry, This is the right place to get this all out. This is the place to "say" it. People here get it. I've been in it, looked back on it a year later. Looked back on it 5 years later. It's not an easy time losing our loved ones...it isn't. But the blessing in this truly sounds like your dad had the most caring team around him and that you got to be part of the giver of that gift...that is love til the end. I remember whispeing in my mom's ear at the end too... thinking of it brings tears to my eyes. I hope this year anniversary passes as gently as possible, though I understand and remember how very hard it is. Hang in there.
  7. Nick C

    Our 'Geri'

    Even though I read this earlier in the day, I am struck by this loss tonight. I am sad for the fact that her friends hurt tonight. I am sad that she leaves behind a family who, based on her update from Katie, could probably enjoy her and use her around right now. I am sad that she couldn't kick the reeper in the balls just one more time and keep going. Sigh....
  8. Wow, I am somewhat speechless at the reminder you've described. You certainly have some tough memories to wrestle with this time of year. I'm sorry for that. This time of year can be so tough.
  9. Nick C

    Five Years

    5 years, my goodness. Yes, I understand the so long yet like yesterday. It's hard to have imagined it 5 years ago how it would feel 5 years later. I hope you have a blessed holiday season as well.
  10. Nick C

    Wow...

    Hey Randy, who are you calling old? Of course I remember you. I am still in awe that 5 years have passed. But they have. I do still shed tears. Charlie Brown Christmas CD is the one that will make me break down...so I get that whole thing. We've had a few folks come back the last few days and say hello. I think these mini reunions are special too. I think it shows folks who are earlier in their journey that there is life (different life) after loss. And that our loved ones remain as special as they ever were to us. As an update, 5 years ago we had no kids. Today we have a 3 1/2 year old and a 9 month old. Life is wonderful, even though we are missing our Grammy. Stay well and please check in again. And when you are haing a bad day, we're here.
  11. Nick C

    Once Again

    I hope "that time of year" passes as gently as possible. And I really hope this health issue passes. Yikes, I've never heard of that type of pull, but it must suck!
  12. That poem has something to offer for everyone. Amazing.
  13. Hi! Congrats on your grandson, spoil him rotten. SO glad things seem good on your end. So glad you came back to check in with us.
  14. Nick C

    Colleen Brennan

    This has been on my mind a lot, so so sad.
  15. "Both idiots and NON idiots can get brain cancer." Love this!!! Katie, I like the "Anyone with lungs can get lung cancer. 435 people die everyday of lung cancer. The question should be- Do you care?" I will have to use this. And I know westport happened (I wish I could have been there). I guess my frustration is not with US...those who are invloved. I know there are people in CT. It's those who I have encountered in my everyday life who have the same link to the disease as I do, but they just don't care. I just don't get it.
  16. I know you are all here...but I need allies where I am physically. At work, in my town, in Connecticut. I have my lungevity water bottle with me at work, I always do. One of the folks here (a higher up person) sees it, misreads it, then realizes it says LUNGevity. "Oh what's that about?" I get to tell him. "Oh so these are a bunch of former smokers?" Ugh Me: "No, not at all really." ""My father died of lung cancer, but he smoked...Pall Malls...so..." Me: "So he didn't do anything illegal you know? He didn't deserve Lung cancer" "Yeah well...it was really awful actually. He was 57." Me: "I'm really sorry. My mom was 56. All the more reason to do something about it right? You know it isn't like the environment is getting any better. We're all subject to this disease." "Well I'm all for getting rid of pollution..." I GIVE UP! Why is it the family members of those who we've lost to this disease don't GIVE A ____. Drives me crazy!
  17. Nick C

    Insurance battle

    I was going to say, patient advocate at insurance co. Someone may also be tasked with this type of stuff at the cancer center. Finally, insurance is regulated by state board of insurance...contacting them usually makes insurance cos responsive.
  18. Nick C

    Annette Martell

    This is tough...no words.
  19. Nick C

    About our friend

    I'm shocked...I'm sorry for us...and for her...I'm not sure how to process this one.
  20. Ditto to Katie's observation.
  21. Nick C

    Oct 23- one year

    Man Katie, my eyes just welled up...I know you miss her so.
  22. Nick C

    Just Venting

    Gosh...that is so hard. This is totaly the place to get the weight of all of this somewhat off your mind/shoulders or what ever. I don't have this experience...at all. But I did go to a friend of my mother's son's wake about a month ago. She didn't recognize me at first, but when she did she was very happy to see me. I could not offer her words that would help her about the loss of her son. But my "gift", if you can call it that, was just being there, because that is what I could do. You are there...you are not expectd to have answers. I know it looks or feels like they are looking to you for answers. They aren't. They are looking ANYWHERE for answers. How did any and all of us stumble upon this place? We were looking for answers. Most of us still haven't gotten the answers we came here looking for, many of us haven't provided all the answers to the questions that are asked...but I think we are all grateful for the fact that each of us is here. Hang in there.
  23. I have found the papers to be a process. Every year that goes by, progress gets made. And sometimes, by purging these "things" we do more to preserve our memories. Hang in there.
  24. Nick C

    Pink

    I think I'm jealous. I'm jealous that people love to rally around pink. I'm jealous they picked a month with 31 days. I'm jealous they don't have to deal with stigma. At the same time I'm scared. I'm scared I've identified the wrong enemy. I'm scared that I've forgotten that at one point in my life, the pink one was the only one that REALLY affected me, and even then, it didn't affect me like "ours" has. I'm afraid that with the pink one in my family that my daughter may be affected. At the same time, I'm annoyed. People wear pink and they think that is enough. You didn't treat, prevent or cure anything. It seems so shallow. It's an easy way for folks to feel like they did something, when they didn't. At the same time, I feel a little unfaithful. Tomorrow my team presents to the board, and we have color coordinated our wadrobes before (it's accounting people and it isn't that exciting, so don't judge!). We decided as a team we'd do pink. One of our team members has a mother going through treatments, my mother was a breast cancer survivor and fact is, it isn't something we can bury our heads in the sand over even though we are accutely aware of the "other" big cancer. But at the same time, it just doesn't feel terribly right to me. So tomorrow, I'm wearing pink. Is it a victimless crime to do so?
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