Nick C

I will have cardinals appear...I am sure they are messages, especially in the winter wwhen I look for that connection to natural beauty that just isn't there because of cold and snow...I feel like Mom sends the cardinals to hold me over to spring.

First off, how wonderful! "I am worried about breaking down when her brother walks her down the aisle." I think weddings are for breaking down. My wife came down the aisle I broke down. There will be a flood of emotions I would think. Your flood will be full of many different things. But I bet in that flood you will feel a connection to Rod. I understand your anticipation too. I hope it is a wonderful day and no doubt Rod will be in your hearts that day.

Patti was a great lady. She will be extremely missed. Patti, you did an amazing job here in life. You raised a solid kid and fought an amazing fight. And you left a very big impression on so many.

I don't think you shouldd ever hesitate to get something out here. This forum gives hope, not by saying,"look everything will be great." It gives hope by saying we all have dark hours and hard times. We aren't alone. I am sorry (for all of us) that somethings have to be so hard. Somethings are bruttal reminders. But we are all brought together by this pain... We all, in some wayt shape and form, get it!

Judy, I can't be more sorry. Thaat is so much! And yes you can say anything here. And I see what you are saying and wonder if there are small hidden blessings in these awful times.

Got an e-mail from an old girlfriend. She asked if my mother used to make a lime coolwhip jello pie, because she just made one and had major nostalgia about my mom. I wrote her back and said it is nice to hear when others have any memory of mom...hard to explain. She wrote back and said she thinks of mom often. Anyone else feel the same huge sense of satisfaction when someone else remembers something about someone you've lost?

Lisa, I am so sorry. We'll certinly continue to be here. I hope I can be seen by my dughter the way your dad is seen by you. So sorry, Nick

A tough one for many for sure.

I'm so sorry... There is no time limit on grief...and six months...not that long a time. Sounds like you are doing as well as you could be...hang in there.

This is a great chronicle of some great guys!

So Sophia and I put together her playhouse this weekend. I grabbed my mothers toolbox. I have tools, but my mother's set is my "grab and go" set of tools. I took out a rubber mallet and Sophie asked, "Are those your tools daddy?" "Actually Soph, these are Grammy's tools." "Yeah, where is Grammy?" "Grammy is in Heaven with God" "We see her tomorrow" "No. Not tomorrow" So the playhouse comes with a little toy phone. And when I assebled that part of the house she went right to it and picked up the phone. I'm busy assembling but I hear her talking on the phone, and I said, "Who are you talking to Soph?" "Randie" Now, my mother's name is Randy. The mom of one of her friends is Randie...I've heard her "talk on the phone" (pretend) with the daughter before, but not Randie. "What is she saying soph?" "Yeah" "No what are you talking about?" "Yeah" Guess I won't be 100% sure if it was Randie or Randy.

yes, good job on getting through this very significant first. And best of luck with this weekend. I hope the day brings you a little healing and that you know he'll be looking on all of you with a smile.

So sorry...I know this had to be hard.

Ginny, I had no idea you were a hospice worker. Bless you!

What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing how you feel. I'm sure you are giving so many the hope that the accute pain subsides and the love remains. Thank you and so happy to hear from you!

Such a tough task. I applaud your big step taken in your time. Hang in there! And folks who don't get it...well, it's just unfortunate.

So my best friend wrote me and said he wrote an e-book. I don't want to reveal too much, but it is about a grieving young man. It has a religious bend to it. At times it moved me because of its hopeful message. So I wrote him back and said I really loved it. He then told me he was glad, because he is donating a portion of the profits to the Randy Cappiello Foundation... Mikey loved my mom, he wept when she was diagnosed, he gave a eulogy at her memorial, and now he's doing something to fight Lung Cancer. Here's the e-book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004QTOTG2/ref=r_soa_w_d

I'm with Cindy, Spring is bitter sweet. Mom was a gardener, so I miss her a bit more, though when I am out there I feel closer to her.

Looks great Judy!!! Makes me want to book a cruise.

I'm really sorry I missed this. My mom was also 56. She was my rock and one of my best friends. I miss her every day. But you WILL get to a point where you will live your days without the intense sadness. I promise. I still miss mom with every fiber of my being, but it isn't crippling like it once was. I smile when I think of her now. And I feel she is with me always. Hang in there. We'll be here.

Fingers crossed!!! I know the wait is tough.

Always so amazing to me!

#1 - That's not rambling...if there is a group of folks who get it and are happy to listen, it's us. #2 - Too many of us know the fast advance of the disease, My mom was 30 days from diagnosis to her passing...we understand how hard it is to digest. #3 - Too many of us know the people who just don't get it, they are plentiful and shocking. But in my heart, I know they mean well or just don't have any idea what they mean. But I've written some of the shocking ccomments here over the years...wierd stuff is still said . #4 - Work - I was lucky, very understanding boss, but I did have a co worker who made a comment about how I took a WHOLE WEEK OFF after my mom passed. Hang in there and post whenever you have somethgin to just get out!

So sorry to read this.

Nice!