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Nick C

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Everything posted by Nick C

  1. Nick C

    Made it..........

    yes, good job on getting through this very significant first. And best of luck with this weekend. I hope the day brings you a little healing and that you know he'll be looking on all of you with a smile.
  2. Nick C


    So sorry...I know this had to be hard.
  3. Nick C

    LC in hospice

    Ginny, I had no idea you were a hospice worker. Bless you!
  4. Nick C

    Three years

    What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing how you feel. I'm sure you are giving so many the hope that the accute pain subsides and the love remains. Thank you and so happy to hear from you!
  5. Nick C

    Another Chapter

    Such a tough task. I applaud your big step taken in your time. Hang in there! And folks who don't get it...well, it's just unfortunate.
  6. Nick C

    Doing something

    So my best friend wrote me and said he wrote an e-book. I don't want to reveal too much, but it is about a grieving young man. It has a religious bend to it. At times it moved me because of its hopeful message. So I wrote him back and said I really loved it. He then told me he was glad, because he is donating a portion of the profits to the Randy Cappiello Foundation... Mikey loved my mom, he wept when she was diagnosed, he gave a eulogy at her memorial, and now he's doing something to fight Lung Cancer. Here's the e-book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004QTOTG2/ref=r_soa_w_d
  7. Thanks Katie for asking. I must admit, I am so happy I got to get this out there. As spring is here two things happen. The flowers come up and I miss mom's enthusiasm for such things. But my enthusiasm has grown. The other thing that happens is we begin to kick into high gear for the golf tournament which will be held in Stamford CT on September 19th this year.
  8. Yeah, totally true family isn't determined by blood... I wonder how I will feel when my mom's boyfriend one day meets someone. He is a great guy and deserves someone. Still, I'm sure it will be "odd".
  9. Nick C

    Spring Sadness

    I'm with Cindy, Spring is bitter sweet. Mom was a gardener, so I miss her a bit more, though when I am out there I feel closer to her.
  10. This is fascinating. #1, Katie, I didn't even contemplate a friend being moved the way you have been. But it makes total sense. #2 I do think men (general broad stroke statement) move on, at least from what we've seen here. #3 Either way, it can't be easy.
  11. Looks great Judy!!! Makes me want to book a cruise.
  12. I'm really sorry I missed this. My mom was also 56. She was my rock and one of my best friends. I miss her every day. But you WILL get to a point where you will live your days without the intense sadness. I promise. I still miss mom with every fiber of my being, but it isn't crippling like it once was. I smile when I think of her now. And I feel she is with me always. Hang in there. We'll be here.
  13. Fingers crossed!!! I know the wait is tough.
  14. #1 - That's not rambling...if there is a group of folks who get it and are happy to listen, it's us. #2 - Too many of us know the fast advance of the disease, My mom was 30 days from diagnosis to her passing...we understand how hard it is to digest. #3 - Too many of us know the people who just don't get it, they are plentiful and shocking. But in my heart, I know they mean well or just don't have any idea what they mean. But I've written some of the shocking ccomments here over the years...wierd stuff is still said . #4 - Work - I was lucky, very understanding boss, but I did have a co worker who made a comment about how I took a WHOLE WEEK OFF after my mom passed. Hang in there and post whenever you have somethgin to just get out!
  15. Nick C

    Ellen in PA

    So sorry to read this.
  16. It certainly will make folks aware...every thing we can do helps!
  17. Ron, Congrats on the promotion. Missing those we love never stops, but yes, less of that will have to do with sadness...you won't have to try too hard to make it that way. It's still early...it hasn't been that long. Hang in there.
  18. Nick C

    very scared

    x-rays just aren't clear enough...don't panic. But if you aren't sure the doc is right, and have concern, go get a low ddose spiral CT. Will show much clearer whatever is going on!
  19. Yesterday was Sophie's birthday and two weekss ago we welcomes Nicholas to the world. How different things are versus 3 years ago. When Sophie was born those eyes looked at me and I saw my mother. I felt lost without mom. My entire relationship with my daughter was HEAVILY intertwined with the love and loss of my mother. Two weeks ago was emotional meeting my boy, but so different. I'm different. He's different. Yeah, mom wouldd have loved a boy. I definitely thoought of mom and talked to little Nicholas about his grammy. But it's so different. It's just not as tangled. BUT Mom's pressence is still so missed and felt at the same time. Keri lookedd at me after one of the first days home with the baby and said, "I really miss your mom, this whole thing must be so hard for you." I said it is, but I've got really good at it. Keri said "I just miss her so much." It's nice and comforting. Well yesterday for Sophie'ss birthday we went on an adventure, and I am reminded oof how she is stilll so intertwined with my mother. Sophie wants to do a garden (my mother's hobby). She went too the agway with me aand picked seeds. She wantedd too go yesterday for her birthday to get cucumber seeds and while we were there she enthusistically picked sweet pea flower seeds and proclaimed them as "her favorite"...her face...my mother's when she found a new plant she weas excitedd about. Spring is coming! The days are getting longer! Then Sophie and I went and had a birthday cupcake and some milk...she sat there, sipped from a straw, chocolate on her face, and batted her eyelashes...her long eyelashes with her giant eyes...it's still like looking at my mother. So I type this while I listen to In-da-gadda-da-vida, with headphones, because it is the ONLY way to listen to it so my mother taught me (it's the drum solo...try it!). It's been about 4 1/2 years...which seems impossible. I have figured out that life does go on...it does...and she's still with me every day. Doesn't mean it wouldn't be so much more awesome to still have her here with us! Just thinking of you today Mom.
  20. Nick C


    Busy at work is better than the alternative! Good to hear from ya.
  21. Life without those we need...Keri was broody about this the other night. While missing all the love my mother would provide she said, "But we just don't get to have that." And let sucking up of reality begin!. Hang in there, you have company in your broodiness!
  22. I'm sorry for the recent setback. Hang in there. I know the helpless feeling is frustrating.
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