Nick C

It certainly will make folks aware...every thing we can do helps!

Ron, Congrats on the promotion. Missing those we love never stops, but yes, less of that will have to do with sadness...you won't have to try too hard to make it that way. It's still early...it hasn't been that long. Hang in there.

x-rays just aren't clear enough...don't panic. But if you aren't sure the doc is right, and have concern, go get a low ddose spiral CT. Will show much clearer whatever is going on!

Yesterday was Sophie's birthday and two weekss ago we welcomes Nicholas to the world. How different things are versus 3 years ago. When Sophie was born those eyes looked at me and I saw my mother. I felt lost without mom. My entire relationship with my daughter was HEAVILY intertwined with the love and loss of my mother. Two weeks ago was emotional meeting my boy, but so different. I'm different. He's different. Yeah, mom wouldd have loved a boy. I definitely thoought of mom and talked to little Nicholas about his grammy. But it's so different. It's just not as tangled. BUT Mom's pressence is still so missed and felt at the same time. Keri lookedd at me after one of the first days home with the baby and said, "I really miss your mom, this whole thing must be so hard for you." I said it is, but I've got really good at it. Keri said "I just miss her so much." It's nice and comforting. Well yesterday for Sophie'ss birthday we went on an adventure, and I am reminded oof how she is stilll so intertwined with my mother. Sophie wants to do a garden (my mother's hobby). She went too the agway with me aand picked seeds. She wantedd too go yesterday for her birthday to get cucumber seeds and while we were there she enthusistically picked sweet pea flower seeds and proclaimed them as "her favorite"...her face...my mother's when she found a new plant she weas excitedd about. Spring is coming! The days are getting longer! Then Sophie and I went and had a birthday cupcake and some milk...she sat there, sipped from a straw, chocolate on her face, and batted her eyelashes...her long eyelashes with her giant eyes...it's still like looking at my mother. So I type this while I listen to In-da-gadda-da-vida, with headphones, because it is the ONLY way to listen to it so my mother taught me (it's the drum solo...try it!). It's been about 4 1/2 years...which seems impossible. I have figured out that life does go on...it does...and she's still with me every day. Doesn't mean it wouldn't be so much more awesome to still have her here with us! Just thinking of you today Mom.

I'm sorry for the recent setback. Hang in there. I know the helpless feeling is frustrating.

SO CUTE!!!!!

So much going on there. The one thing for sure, if Johnny'ss son wondered whether it was just a dream, I think you got it right...It probably wasn't. Hang in there through all the emotions. As hard as they are we're lucky to have the experiences in our past that give us the emotionss we struggle with now.

Really is so cool. My mom had a pet skunk. It was not the typical pet, but she had such a thing for her. I think it is special to havee the kinship wish the "off the beaten path" type animal.

Here they are!

Pic is here. Sophia and Nick

but we have a new addition. Nick the IV was born today at 10:49 AM 7 lb. 12 oz. Mom would have loved a grandson! We already talked about how happy Grammy would have to been to have met him.

Just called my buddy who has Stage 4 Breast Cancer. I said "How are you doin'?" He said, "Can't complain." I'm just ashamed about the stuff that I let bother me.

So glad you came back to check in. There is a Family member/care giver section too. viewforum.php?f=12 I know there have been lots of discussion there about getting folks ideas on how to get their loved ones to want to eat and keep weight on. So if you have questions or just post a request for ideas, I'm sure you'll get plenty. I recall ENSURE being a very popular method of retaining gaining weight. You can also post questions in the general section: viewforum.php?f=50 You'll get everyone going through there every so often. Many different areas to check on during your journey. Glad this week was a better week.

I can't disagree. It's wonderful...and yet it is hard...and then it gets harder...tough to comprehend.

My reply was this is the absolute right place to find support. I also noted that many of us have experienced grieving while our loved one was still here with us. rebncor - hang in there, we'll be here!

From rebncor: I am new and not sure I am where I am supposed to be but I am defianely grieving- how in world do people deal with this - it has been 18 months since diagnosis and he is at 114 pounds, weak, shaky, short of breath and now another round of chemo - fistula in his chest that may kill him first. More pills and drugs than I have ever seen We have been together for 37 years - how do I help him and how do I handle the pain - I cannot stop crying and he is still here..... I hate this disease. I cannot talk to my daughters who are 19 and 23 as my pain is hurting them even more. they do not live at home so I think it is easier to not see what is happening - I cannot talk to my husband, my best friend as he is so scared and trying to deal with what his life has become. They say no cure, just some more time.... I know there is no answer but maybe it helped to write it, I don't know what to do anymore...

Rebncor, I think a lot of us have grieved while our loved ones are still here. I know I did. Because my mom had changed so much in such a short time. I missed my strong independent spit fire mom. You've found the right place. I'm going to copy and post your note in it's own thread here in the grieving formum. I'll title it "A note from Rencor, share your thoughts on this." Others will post to you...you have come to the right place for support. I am sorry you are going through this.

Ah...I replied, but it isn't here. But I said this is the PERFECT place to write EVERYThiNG you are feeling down. Never feel guilty about possibly having someone read your words and not feeling alone, because they feel the same thing! I also wrote that life doesn't come with a rewind button...and guilt happens because of that...we do our best in the now, and only in hindsight can we see certain things...but that isn't our fault. Hang in there.

That Jackyl sends e-mails? Wow

I'm so sorry about your sister in law and the fact that this impending loss is bringing back so much of the other loss you've experienced.

Those are very special gifts from her to you...and very special gifts from you to us. I took from this story that your mom got a glimpse of heaven before it was time for her to go...how wonderful!

So sorry She seems like she she was amazing.

Ronnie, Those monthly reminders are tough. Every time you see that day, it's a reminder. It's great to hear you are remembering the good times. The guilt...we all understand the tendancy to feel it, but seriously, LC deals us a crap hand...guilt is for when you have good options and don't take them...you have nothing to feel guilty about. Like Katie said, take it easy on yourself!!

I missed this post. I have my mother's ashes with us, but I know when the kids are grown and we move, we'll probablly do the same, as she loved the beach as well.

Missed this, but I come to expect that Joel kicks a$$. It's just how he rolls