Jump to content

Nick C

Members
  • Posts

    2,161
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

Everything posted by Nick C

  1. If you pray for everyone here, that is a huge thing in itself... I as someone here am grateful for that.
  2. Gosh, I am so sorry. I've prayed for strength for you. I'm so sorry.
  3. It sounds like good progress, thank God for that. Unfortunately as time goes on we're all suseptable to infections and the like... even when we are perfectly healthy. The doctors will deal with it. It is out of your hands. They have been made aware. But again, focus positively on the progress which has been made. All the best!
  4. Thanks everyone. Very reassuring to hear what you are saying. Yes to I expect this debilitating pain, but its just an empty ache. Absolutely! And yes to the Christmas decorations and thanksgiving, but my dealing with thanksgiving will be another thread for another time. Janet, I'm sorry for all that loss at once, it's crazy...and holiday time on top of it? I'm so sorry!!! Actually, Janet, Shauna, all of us, I'm so sorry.
  5. Did anyone else go through this? I miss her, and think about her all the time, but I am completely functional. WHich seems strange to me. Maybe not FULLY functional. But I watched family guy the other night and laughed...I've joked at work. I feel like I should have sack cloth and ashes on and be sitting in the basement for months...but I'm not. I'm back puting in my typical 12 your days at work...I've turned the radio back on in my car (I was driving around in silence for the first 10 days). I'm concerned I am going to be at the coffee machine or driving and it's gonna hit me and I'm gonna crack. How can things seem externally normal, but she's on mind constantly, and I know she's gone. How has it been 2 weeks already? And at the same time it's only been 2 weeks? Longest two weeks of my life. Just rambling.
  6. I have nothing to add, just know I am praying your mom and for you.
  7. Net admin, I am sorry. The unresponsiveness could be the neurological effects of the brain mets, but I am not medical. Brain mets are typically the most immediate concern in patients...so I would think it could very well be the problem. I pray the best for you and your family. Please keep us posted on what the onc says.
  8. Wow, Kathleen, not to go off topic but: I think we are on the exact same wave length. I had a break down the other night, and it was that every day I feel like I am moving "away" from my life with her. I guess you can turn it around and say every day we get closer to a reunion with...not further from our mother's. But I swear, that is SO unbelievable. I feel the same sentiment...kinda like driving a car away from an object and having it get smaller.
  9. I think maybe it is a component. I regret not having kids...my mom didn't get to be a grandmother. BUT my grief doesn't revolve around that. And I really couldn't tell you another regret. Our relationship was great, our last month was exactly what she wanted. But it still sucks for me. I'm still grieving. So I don't know that one equals the other.
  10. I'm sorry that this is happening. I know it is so soon, but the way things sound, perhaps you should talk to the hospital's hospice folks...it is better to get them involved early...your grandpa can meet them, feel reassured and then they will go away until needed. It might just ensure your grandfathers comfort and be a good support for ou and the rest of the family knowing there are professionals which are trained to help at times like these. We never got the chance to use hospice...but Mom felt good knowing it was going to be there if she needed it. Again, I am very sorry.
  11. Toon, for starters, I am very sorry. This can all be very overwhelming, and I think it is great that you are stepping up to understand what is ahead of you and your family. I am not medical, and only God has the final say, but I have just gone through this with my mother. You can see the timeline in my signature below for an idea, but everyone is different. My advice would be listen to your grandfather's wishes, be supportive. Treat every day not as a vigil, but as a wonderful gift. Even when we are well we should do that, but now is the time to really realize it. And if you have specific questions, or just need to vent, we are here.
  12. Don't apologize nutbar...what you just did was remind all caregivers that this time is a tough time...don't make any drastic changes in your life. Accept that things aren't the way you would like them...but try to hang in as best as possible. Especially work...tkae the time you need, if there is flack, let it roll off you back for now, deal with the REAL crisis (the health of your loved one)...when the crisis is over, then make decisions. I almost quit my job immediately after I found out about mom's diagnosis...but I just prioritized...tried to leave most things intact, and that certainly was best in my case.
  13. I will forever question whether what we did in the hospital in those last hours was "the right thing". But I didn't seal my mother's fate, neither did you with your mother. The doctors didn't, the ER didn't, the treatments, drugs, the pain killers didn't...the cancer did, at least in my mother's case, as she was terminal. I am confident that I will never be 100% comfortable with my mothers departure, but I am 100% comfortable that her leaving was coming, it was coming sooner rather than later, and that it could have been so much worse. I take comfort in that. If your mom slept and hospice was there, I would be confident she was comfortable. I know you wanted to make her better...I did too. But that was not something we could have done. So we can't beat ourselves up for it. As far as moving on to be a spouse, parent, person without our mothers...I don't know. I have said that several times to my wife. How are there actually other people who have gone through this?!?!? There are...and they are parents, spouses, workers, and people...so there is hope.
  14. Kathleen I am 12 days without my mother now...the wounds are fresh and it sucks and it is wierd. I have experienced some of what you have. On your point 1, my mom was 56, went every year for physicals chect x-ray and tumor markers. Apparently none of this turns up lung cancer. So I get your frustration. I am trying to do something constructive with this anger and going to a conference on early detection of lung cancer in NYC. GO to ielcap.org for info. I will be posting what I learn there. But know that I feel your frustration, if only they could have told us sooner. On point 2, my Mom experienced fatigue as well, even she thought it was mental... Point 3, nothing prepares you. It didn't strike me as peaceful, but I think that was because I was not peaceful at that moment. I think my mother was not cognizant of what was happening. But watching her take her last breath was very disturbing to me, it appeared to me as a struggle. The nurse said it wasn't, and this is what happens. She said even though her respratory reflexes seemed to continue, it was already done. Don't get me wrong. It is stuck in my head, and I will always question, but I know what ever that experience was for her is now completely gone. She's somewhere where there is no pain and no sadness. I was also hoping to "feel" something. But I have an identical feeling of nothingness. But that isn't about her or her state of being...she's OK. It's my perception. I have faith that as time moves forward I will "experience" her again. Just not sure it will be "external" like I had imagined it would. 4 - I get it. I don't have kids but 50% of my thoughts about having them involved the joy my mother would experience. I don't get to have that now. My mom was my rock, she was my buddy. I get it. Just know I completely get it.
  15. I'm no doctor, but if he is in pain, and sick, and wanting to fight, October 30 seems a little too far in the future.
  16. Nick C

    6 Months Today

    I am sorry for your pain.
  17. Hospice workers I'm sure have their way of making the patient accepting of the services they are there to provide. The word I have heard to describe it is "empowering". I just said a prayer that that is exactly how it is received. And I am just SO sorry about what you are going through. She is too young, so are you.
  18. So sorry. May you find comfort at this impossibly difficult time.
  19. Nothing I say will help you to find your faith. I am having a lot of trouble tapping into my own at this time. But know that you are not alone. Even God endured suffering on the cross (that's what I believe anyway). Your suffering is real, and it sucks, and I am sorry, and I pray you find peace and faith during these times.
  20. Wow, hate to be so eloquent, but this disease sucks. Here is the deal. With my mom, we told her about hospice and said lets do it now, so YOU can interview people...then we'll tell them to go away until you need it. In your case the "care given" can be the "interview" as far as your mom is considered. The difference was, my mom was "excited" about the idea of home hospice and getting them involved, as it meant she could stay home. We never got to need hospice, and mom passed suddenly, but maybe you can sell it as enabling and empowering rather than the "throwing in of the towel" I don't know if any of this helps.
  21. If there is a change in the cough, go to the doctor. I am not wanting to worry you or anything. But my mothers cough we thought was acid reflux or the decadron but it was pneumonia. If you JUST had an x-ray, then you would know, but if it has been a while...maybe it's worth it to have them at least listen with the stethoscope.
  22. Sounds like the day was a blessing! Good days are a wonderful thing.
  23. Tammy too much going on here!!! I am so sorry. I will say a prayer of healing for dad and strength for you.
  24. The Hospital should have clergy on call. Ask the nurse to contact him/her. If you feel as though you are at the end of your rope, tell him/her that. Talk it out as a start. Also, have you called hospice? I know your mom is in the hospital, but you can still call them and get them involved. They will both assist your mom in being comfortable and assist the family (you) as well. I never got the chance to get hospice involved, but I understood that that is what they do. I have just prayed that you find the strength to go on and that your mom finds peace and comfort.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.