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beat it

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  1. Well I havent posted in forever but just felt like sharing. Weird, seems like I repeat myself to family over and over updating everyone, I'm so burnt out on that, then tonight I write.......... Hospice came on board today. Aqute care in the hospital. Not sure if she'll ever make it home or not. Last week we were still in fight mode, today ............. I watched my MIL go from the beautiful recongizable woman to this eldery feeble tiny woman in almost a week. Yes she'd been changing in appearance over the last month but this happened so fast. In 2 months the slower growing NSCLC gained intense speed. Multiple new nodules, tumors tripled in size mets AND bone cancer in the ribs. Its only a short ime now........... BUT cancer didnt take everything from us. This family gained communication skills, physical and verbal expressions of love, tenderness, kindness, faith, and even though she'll be in heaven soon, we all have a bond that has never been tighter. cancer cant take those from us. So in the end ........... we did win. Beat it!!
  2. Well folks, its been a while since I've posted though I read posts frequently. Guess the shock and awe subsided after the first round of chemo and we have enjoyed 3 months with out weekly visits to the onc but rather 6 week intervolds, cancers progressed with sprinkled spots, a new tumor, all in one lung and a thicker plurea but no additional mets.... in recent weeks the pain has increased for her and today I learned that for about the last 2 weeks shes been coughing up small amounts of blood. She hasnt told anyone and only told her daughter today as she was present at the time. Told her not to worry and that she didnt feel the need to tell her onc or anyone eles as it was small amounts "not blood clots or anything" my sister in law informed me right away. We have a Onc appt in 2 weeks and she will begin 2nd line chemo then....... Anyone have some thoughts? Do I approacher her with what I know even though I realize she doesnt want to start doctoring again before the chemo or do I let it be? Beat it!!
  3. I guess I may be the manority on this one but I find it completly natural for people to ask if a person who has lung cancer smoked. Because of the effort to educate on the risks of getting cancer to those who chose to smoke, it seems only logical one would ask if they took the known risk. Smokers choose to take that risk when they smoke others just get LC. I always wonder why it is such a explosive question. If there was a known cause for breast cancer and it was something that a person could choose to do voluterrely, that could possibly contribute to cancer I'm sure people would ask them the simular question. Honestly I think alot of people who smoke did or are contributing to lung cancer, its a proven fact/risk. And yes I smoked for 16 years, have been smoke free for 10 years. On the second question. If we give to others for any reason, with out restrictions for its use, then really it is only ourselves we can be angry at for the donation if we feel it was misused. The person whom recieved the money did nothing wrong in taking it. Just my 2 cents, proably not the manority I realize that. Beat it!!
  4. MIL has intense burning in her stomach, Onc prescribed meds for an Ulcer. In 3 weeks there is a CT scan of the lungs and the first of the lower abdomin. I am wondering if he is looking for an ulcer or more cancer. Burning doesnt show much on line for symptoms of ulcers...........he never checked just gave her the drug on a hunch. Isnt the wondering and waiting the worest inour journey? Any thoughts? Beat it!!
  5. I completly understand and can relate. We have been dealing with Anxiety attacks and now an ulcer with my MIL. It has caused me to dig into more research as to why this is happening on top of the cancer. What we have found has changed those medical issues. The POWER I dont believe is in the cancer. But rather in our very own mind. We simply dont use them to our own benifit much and dont even realize what we are doing. I would offer if you are realy concerned with worry and fear of the situation and it is taking away from the time you have with her, pick up a new DVD on the market, its a documentary on our thinking processes. Its called "The Secrect" by Rhonda Byrne it is currently the number one seller of DVD's in America, also on CD. It IS NOT boring and has COMPLETELY changed my life and way of thinking after repetitive listening to it. I hope you find the peace thru your thoughts to enjoy your time with all your loved ones. I have learned to do this so much better by using these new principles in my life. Interestingly enough my MIL has had a remarkable turn around recently from nothing more than the power of how she was thinking about her situation (she watched this too), people not immediatly in the know have seen a dramatic change in her as well. The POWER isnt in the cancer, rather your MIND. In my opinion. Just wanted to offer to you what we have discovered that is working for us. Beat it!!
  6. Hi, I'm sorry your in this situation. But I'm glad your posting here. It is a great family of compassion and insights. Not all agree all the time but it sure does make a difference in my opinion. As far as Hospice goes, we are not currently there....yet. My MIL has Stage 4 NSCLC and we are progressing. With everything, cancer growth, med increases, pain, fatigue, loss of appitite....... I'm sorry. But I have researched hospice and I cant tell you what I want to see happen for us. To me Hospice is NOT a death sentence, it doesnt mean defeat or lack of strengh to carry out the role care givers play. To me Hospice is there to HELP, to ease some of the caregivers stress, releave as much pain as possible for all involed. You know it seems it all depends on a families outlook on the meaning of Hospice. If you equate Hospice to death I can see why it would be tough to incorporate them into your situation. If you equate Hospice as help, guidence, support and quicker pain management it would be more exceptable to bring them in. I hope you will find your peace in this vicious rollercoaster that cancer has us all on. Best to you and yours, Beat it.
  7. Thanks for all the advice!!!! Had platelets checked, came back good. Could be the anti-imflamitory shes on now due to the radiation. I'll be honest our Radiologist didnt give us even a slight glimpse of the amount of fatigue shes under or any other side effects, he made it seem like nothing. Pain (due to the cancer growing) still increasing, now at night taking double oral morphine doses to get thru........... Just wondering when this rickety old cancer rollercoaster is going to collapse under her........ Thanks for the support, I appreciate all of you!! Beat it!!
  8. Anyone have this? We are currently under the final days of a 15 day radiation cycle. MIL is Brusing at every turn, not having good days, I think she is beinging to give over to the exceptance of eternity with out all this pain, if not conciously maybe not even realizing it. Not willing to do small things now, ensure for calorie upkeep or Vitamin IV's as she once did............. But what about all this brusing? And an unexplainable feeling of not feling well all over her body? We have radiation in the am I am going with to get her looked at more thoughly...... Any ideas?
  9. Second, Third and Fouth opinions!!!!!!! Remeber the Oncologist works for YOU. If he or she is not willing to help and work with you and you feel this frustrated, I would vote to fire the Onc and move on. After my MIL's dx od stage 4 it became clear, the family wanted to fight more than the oncologist. Best wishes for you, Beat it!!
  10. Well I havent done alot of posting latley, but read daily. MIL is taking radiation (which has almost no side effects, the radio onc told her) trying to reduce a very painful tumor. We have changed pain meds to oral morphine (2 types) shes getting so weak, no appitite, having trouble hearing her on the phone now too. Told me today she feels worse now than when she took the chemo (and that was the strongest dose they give) we've got anxiety attacks to boot. Cant sleep thru the night for the pain......... I just wish I could take this away. Watching her just slowly wither. Cant even unload the full tray of silverware from a dishwasher with out sitting down to rest. Being the families advocate (they always want me there and the knowledge I have gained thru studing this) I have the task now of letting them know we need to prepare ourselves. The famly never was good at communication, (my gift or curse in life) and they simply dont talk. Dont get me wrong they love each other, fight to the end for each other, but ...... Trying to keep a positive and steady keel while realizing it is time to prepare. We may have months......we may hav just one or two???? Maybe less?. Maybe its just a spell..........maybe it will all go away when we wake up from this nightmare. Watching her in pain, nine months now,.......rips my heart. I've prepared for the future, went to Hospice meetings learned their procedures to be ready for it IF we ever needed it...... I wanted to make the transition better for everyone I love so much, yet I dont know I will suceed. Who can take this burden from another? Who can humanly prepare for the pain and morning. I learned about 5 months into this I couldnt fight her cancer, I couldnt impose my strong alternative belifes on an unwilling person, that I didnt have her cancer. Now I have the realzation I cant carry this for the family either. My husband wants to deny it all away. When I softly and gently explain things he listens, but I watch his leg or foot begin to shake, he gets uneasy. ........ Sorry......back to the radiation issue. If Radiation hasnt horrible side effects then the progression we learned of in the last 2 months is taking over, slowly and painfully. Anyone have some thoughts on radiation and extreme fatigue, weakness, voice loss and loss of appitite? Thanks for the space here to ramble, sorry about that........ Beat it...........feeling beat today.
  11. Your post are like a 180 spin!!!! I am just so happy for you that you are in a good place and can concentrate on your mom with out excess stress. I pray this continues for you and you continue to post and keep us updated!! Beat it!!
  12. I JUST had this happen to me too!! There I was gripping at my husband about how I keep giving and giving trying to be the best advoate I can be for his mom and all of our family. Complaining I too need to be recharged, that I cant always give and never get back. ( which I do "get back" but I was being selfish ) Then today I learn of more anxiety attacks and more intense pain for the MIL that had the onc change the pain meds to straight oral morphine. Yeah and do I feel like dirt now. I think we all go thru this at some point. It is good to hear of your emotions as it puts mine into reality.......We're all human and its hard on us all, cancer or cancer free. Thanks for posting, keep posting and prayers for you. Beat it!!
  13. Yep, when I grow up I want to be loved as much as FLOWERGIRLIE!!!! Gotta admit, I see her profile picture in my head at different times too.............sincere (((((HUGS))))) for her! Beat it!!
  14. Anyone know much on this? Can it all be just in the mind? MIL experiencing SOB each night about the same time upon waking. Radiolgist says he sees nothing in chest xray to be causing this, medical Onc not notified yet. MIL has cancerous lymphs on airpassage that radiologist hasnt mentioned........but then this only happens at night........ Anyway I read a previous post here about this just wondering if anyone else has input or new findings? MIL has appointmet in 2 weeks with reg med doc to discuss, which I thought was weird........shouldnt Oncology handle this? Oh the never ending symptoms and concerns......... Thanks for any thoughts, Beat it!!
  15. Anyone hear from her recently? I had a PM out to her but havent heard back.......... Thinking of you Sharon!! Beat it!!
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