Debi

Smarter people than me I mean. See if you can figure out what these words have in common. 1 Banana 2 Dresser 3 Grammar 4 Potato 5 Revive 6 Uneven 7 Assess Have you already given up? Give it another try . Look at each word carefully. Post if you think you have it!

Hi Carl! I appear to be in the minority, but I did not have adjuvent chemo after surgery. My Oncologist told me basically that I would be dead if I didnt have it because my cancer would come back, but the 2 doctors I trusted advised against it. Like you, I was in a quandry. There was no research to suggest that adjuvent chemo would benefit me as I was Stage 1A and Stage 1A was not included in any of the test groups. After thinking long and hard, I decided not to have chemo for chemo's sake. I am not sure what stage you are Carl, but if I can quote Dr. West- There is very little evidence to suggest that stage IA patients are likely to benefit from post-operative chemotherapy, or radiation for that matter. Very few of the post-op treatment trials have included them, since the prognosis is good enough that we think it’s likely that the risks of treatment, even if small to modest, may be equal to or outweigh the little benefit that treatment could provide over the already good prognosis. Again, I am not sure what stage you are - I believe Stage 1B has shown a 3-5% increase in survival with Adjuvent chemo so my thought pattern may have certainly been different if I was 1B or above. I am not advising you to go either way but just want to advise you to have the facts to make an informed decision. Ultimately it is your call. I can tell you that I have never had any regrets at not having chemo and apparently, I made the right choice, for me. Only you can figure out the right choice for you.

Stayed up AND let my son stay up to witness history being made- Who would have thought almost 6 years ago that I would be sitting in a chair in front of a TV at midnight with my son squished next to me watching the first African American president elect giving his acceptance speech?? How could I NOT stay up?? I did have just a glimmer of disappointment that I wasn't watching the first woman president elect but I got over it...

The scariest movie I have ever seen, with the most lasting impact, was Jaws. It destroyed any thoughts of late night skinny dipping and made me unable to go into the ocean past my knees in the daylight without hearing that music. For someone who grew up spending their days at the ocean and their teenage years hanging at the beach at night, Jaws was complete horror!

Oh Don. I don't know what to say. Am sending you a PM.

Rochelle, Thinking of you and the kids, and remembering John.

MaryAnn, Congratulations!!! Good to see that dog driving around!!!

Rochelle, What a great job you did on the walk!! Your dedication is an inspiration. It was so good to see you again, and to finally meet Snowflake after putting up with her all these years was awesome!!! I can't beleive I finally met you face to face Beck!! Joe and Gina looked just like their pictures, and it was wonderful to meet them although getting Joe to get in a picture is a bit like herding kittens . And to meet DavidA's sister was very poignant- as you know, his death hit me hard, as it did so many others. I always regretted not making it to the Michigan party to meet him, and to meet his sister today and to remember him with her, brought me comfort. Thank you again Rochelle for inviting me to partake in the walk. Oh, and I made it home with only getting lost once.

Christy, You were there with her every step of the way - I am so so sorry to hear this- my heart is with you.

Sheri, I normally don't frequent this forum, but felt compelled to answer your post. My dad didn't die of cancer, but he died suddenly of a heart attack, when I was 36 years old. I was a daddy's girl also, my mother never quite figured me out, but my dad and I were on the same wave length. The last time I saw my dad was Thanksgiving and we were sitting around the table sharing stories of childhood. My mother was saying how when my dad went to work starting from when I could walk until I went to kindergarten, I would stand at the window- all you could see was my knuckles on the windowsill trying to stay on tiptoes, so that I could watch as he drove down the street. The minute he turned the corner, I was so bereft watching him go that I would cry for a half hour. He was my whole world from the beginning. After my dad died, I tried to help my mother, who I always struggled to have a relationship with. For days after he died, she told the story of how he died, over and over. I knew that she felt the need to tell it, but he was MY father, I didn't want to hear the little things - the things that happen when someone suddenly falls over on the cold concrete floor of the garage and dies. Of course I helped with the funeral arrangements and all that goes with that. She got my father's tombstone engraved with "loving husband.. with all my love" and the word dad was not even put on it. She sold the house that he had worked his whole life to pay off, and spent most of the money on special edition dolls and God knows what else. For the first few years he was gone, I called her on his birthday, their anniversary, his death day and never ONCE did my mom call me on one of those days or even THINK of the idea that I was feeling the loss. She would just talk about herself. Never ONCE from the beginning did my mother look outside of her grief and notice or care that I had lost my dad, the man that was my whole world from the beginning. I could go on and on but I don't because there is no sense. My mother is who she is and these are all the reasons why I never did have a relationship with her. I keep my distance. I'm sorry that you are feeling the pain that you are. I'm also sorry that my post is so long, you just brought back alot of stuff that I never really have shared with many. I felt like if I was to bring it up to anyone, it would seem petty - that it was somehow my duty to support my mother during that time and swallow my own grief. Meanwhile, not too far under the surface, was that little girl with her knuckles turning white on the windowsill. I so get where you are. Best wishes.

Beth, It took me about an hour, but I found the old posting. This is the link, but unfortunately the tribute is no longer active. I am going to PM Lisa, and see if she responds- its been a long time since I have seen her on here. I know it was a labor of love for her to put it together- she later lost her mom. http://www.lungevity.org/l_community/vi ... hp?t=19890

Andrea- If you get the WII Fit, let me know. I almost bought it but after reading reviews about it, I wasn't so sure - it has mixed reviews on whether its just alot of 'fluff' and not serious enough. Btw, I recently lost 9 pounds and have to share my latest neurotic behavior. I had been trying to eat right but then went to NY on business for 5 days so of course stuffed myself with as much REAL seafood and Italian food as I could- calzones, pizza, you name it!! So when I get home, I was surprised to see that I didn't gain anything and then the next week lost 3 pounds. So, me being me, instead of thinking of the salads I'm eating now and how I was more active recently, I am completely panicked that I'm losing weight and convinced the cancer is back. In the month before I went to surgery, I had started dropping weight no matter what I ate, it was the scariest thing ever. I guess I had forgotten that. So last week, I start drinking thick shakes and eating everything in sight like a madwoman to test my theory and within a week I gained 6 of the pounds back. So good news is, I don't think the cancer is back - bad news, the fat IS. Apparently, I'll keep losing the same weight and gaining it back if I can't keep it together!

I had pain and general soreness in my right shoulderblade area and shoulder way before my diagnosis. As Patti B stated, I have seen enough from others where they had shoulder pain to notice a trend, and identify it as a symptom of lung cancer. Hope that helps. Glad that they are making sure that there aren't any mets, but its very possible that your dad is suffering from a symptom of what he already has. Good luck!

Geesh Ann... I have been waiting for your next getting to know you question!!!! Last time I cleaned it out was a few weeks ago- I bought a new one at long last so had to switch over. And can I mention that buying a new purse is like buying a new car these days - it takes me 10 years to find the right one.

This is a repeat of something I posted awhile back and perhaps has been posted since. However, someone just sent it to me again and I have to post it - it SO helps to know its not just me...... Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D - > > Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. > > This is how it manifests: > > > > I decide to water my garden. > > > > As I turn on the hose in the driveway, > > I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. > > > > As I start toward the garage, > > I notice mail on the porch table that > > I brought up from the mail box earlier. > > > > I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. > > > > I lay my car keys on the table, > > put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, > > and notice that the can is full. > > > > So, I decide to put the bills back > > on the table and take out the garbage first. > > > > But then I think, > > since I'm going to be near the mailbox > > when I take out the garbage anyway, > > I may as well pay the bills first. > > > > I take my check book off the table, > > and see that there is only one check left. > > > > My extra checks are in my desk in the study, > > so I go insi de the house to my desk where > > I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. > > > > I'm going to look for my checks, > > but first I need to push the Coke aside > > so that I don't accidentally knock it over. > > > > The Coke is getting warm, > > and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. > > > > > > As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, > > a vase of flowers on the counter > > catches my eye--they need water. > > > > I put the Coke on the counter and > > discover my reading glasses that > > I've been searching for all morning. > > > > I decide I better p ut them back on my desk, > > but first I'm going to water the flowers. > > > > I set the glasses back down on the counter, > > fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV > > remote. > > Someone left it on the kitchen table. > > > > I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, > > I'll be looking for the remote, > > but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen > > table, > > so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, > > but first I'll water the flowers. > > > > I pour some water in the flowers, > > but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. > > > > So, I set the remote back on the table, > > get some towels and wipe up the spill. > > > > Then, I head down the hall trying to > > remember what I was planning to do. > > > > At the end of the day: > > > > the car isn't washed > > > > the bills aren't paid > > > > there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter > > > > the flowers don't have enough water, > > > > there is still only 1 check in my check book, > > > > I can't find the remote, > > > > I can't find my glasses, > > > > and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. > > > > Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, > > I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, > > and I'm really tired. > > > > I realize this is a serious problem, > > and I'll try to get some help for it, > > but first I'll check my e-mail.

Dean, How wonderful to 'meet' another survivor!!! Please feel free to stick around and add your support to those on the board. I am so glad you posted!! Congrats!!

Men - enter at your own risk... Okay, so last week I bought not one but TWO underwire bras. I have not had one on since before my surgery but I figured for my 5 year anniversary, it was time. I told myself that if it hurt, I would cowgirl up, I could get through the pain and to the other side. I did it after surgery, I could do it with a stupid bra. How painful could it be - its been 5 years?!! The first day I wore one I was triumphant. Me against my body and I was winning - score debi = 1, damaged tissue, nerves, breastbone, ribs and muscle = 0. I was strong, I was going to make it - I had lift off errrrrrr up. I actually felt my Victoria Secret wings flapping against my sides by the end of the day. But wait.... was that my wings or was it the faint stirrings of pain? Fade to day 7 - today. I will spare you the details of the last 6 days. Suffice it to say that it has been like getting your foot caught in a bear trap, every day it gets more intolerable. I want to be like those people who have those renaiisance weekends, but instead reenact the late 60s. I want to roll a barrell onto the front yard, throw the bras in it after I saturate them with lighter fluid and set them ablaze, underwires and all, while smoking a joint. I won't inhale, I promise. Cowgirl up my *ss. These bras are totally evil. I hate them. I'll tell you what the secret is - pain! So apparently I will never have cleavage again. Sure on the list of terrible things, its not really near the top, but that's why I am posting this in early stage. As frivoulous as it may sound to some, I SO wanted to be able to wear a decent bra again. I hate when I take a stab at normalcy and fail!! Anyone else feel there is something they haven't been able to do since surgery, etc? In what small way (that you feel silly complaining about in the giant scheme of things but dammit, it still bothers you!) has surgery/cancer etc affected you? I already told you mine.

Thinking of Rich and wishing him home.......

Hi Marianne! I just happened to stop in here and feel compelled to reply. I have had both neuropathy (still do) and shingles. What you are describing with your feet and hands definitely sounds like what I experience - the burning can be intense at times especially if I wear certain shoes - I suffer after. My hands are not as bad - but they get numb, and I do have tingling. The pain is worse in my feet but I think thats because you have to put shoes on and that irritates it. Besides the burning, I also get stabbing pains out of nowhere that only last a few seconds and then go away - thankfully, since I don't think I could bear it more than a few seconds. I had shingles a few months ago so its fairly fresh in my mind. I had pain on my right side, starting in my back where I had my surgery actually, that came around to under my right breast. The pain steadily increased, it was a deep muscle pain that affected my whole right upper quandrant, including my breast. About 4 days after it started, I noticed the rash - I had already googled and pretty much was looking for it. THe pain was intense - in fact it was incredibly depressing becasue it affected the same area that had been affected by my surgery and the pain was the same. The skin layer pain and annoyance of the rash was nothing compared to the pain inside. I even walked like I did after surgery, arm up protecting my side, and listing to the right side. Anyway, I was on Loritabs and the doctor had said that oxycontin was next - the pain is that intense sometimes. I googled for you and came up wiht the following. By all means, I think you should keep pursuing an answer through your doctors, but it doesn't hurt to arm yourself - good luck, and keep us posted! There is, in fact, a condition called zoster sine herpete (i.e., zoster, the virus, without the herpes blisters), in which nerves are affected without the usual rash associated with shingles. In this case, the nerve involvement causes pain and extreme sensitivity, but the rash just never shows up. Usually with shingles, once the pain sets in, it can last for up to three days before the rash appears. Sometimes this period of pain before breakout lasts longer — the severe pain associated with shingles can continue for weeks, even months, before there's a rash.

Debbie, I am so sorry to hear of Alan's passing.

Happy anniversary Carol!!!

Crap Muriel, I'm late. But knowing you, you're probably still in the pub... I remember the two of us that first summer sharing links to research about adjuvent chemo after surgery. You went one way, I went the other and as you have said, we both did exactly what we were supposed to do apparently!! I am so glad I had you for my study buddy!! Congrats Muriel- I am honored to know you.

Christy, I am sorry to hear about your mom. AT the same time, I am glad to see you - now there's a double edged sword, huh? Please make sure to post the results of your mom's MRI, I will be looking for it. Maybe that's not it Christy - but the constant nausea must be terrible for your mom. I hope she gets relief- will be thinking of both of you.

I had my surgery and got out of the hospital on the 6th day. I'm not sure how old your husband is but I was 46 at the time. Almost 2 weeks after I was home, my 4 year old son was in my bed watching ET and he had an accident and wet the bed. I will never forget this since it took me about an hour to take the sheets and blanket off and remake the bed. I hadn't cried when diagnosed, hadn't cried in the hospital but I remember SOBBING because I couldn't make the bed- I was completely helpless. I had no strength to pull the sheets to the corners and couldn't use my right arm to pull, had no energy to shake the blanket onto the bed- besides the pain and getting winded. I had to keep sitting on the bed to rest because my legs were rubbery and I would just cry or more fittingly, wail. Picking the 8 pillows off the floor that I had on my bed so I could sleep was a major undertaking. All in all, by the time I had the bed made, and him in the shower, almost an hour and a half had passed- something that normally would be done in under 15 minutes. I thought I would never ever get better. A little over 3 weeks, I remember going to Walmart. By the time I got to the cash register I was almost panting and thought I was going to faint. I felt like I had run a marathon, just going to the store to pick up a few groceries. There was a gentleman on this board at the time, BobMc, who had an avitar of himself smiling from a rope bridge in Costa Rica where he had been hiking, 3 weeks after his surgery. I so hated Bob. We became friends so it was okay, but at the time I hated his smiling mug! I felt like a loser, a failure because I couldn't make it to Walmart and back at almost 4 weeks and here this guy is running all over Costa Rica. Everyone heals differently. This is extreme but someone told me once that lung surgery was close to having a living autopsy - a quarter of your torso is cut open. You just don't bounce back from these things. I went back to work at 9 weeks because I had to, but it took me quite a while to start feeling like myself again. When I got tired I would lean to the side and tuck my arm up against my side with the elbow crooked - it was automatic- it somehow helped. I couldn't sleep on my right side for almost a year. I couldnt wear a regular bra for almost 2 years. To this day I have numb spots and wierd electrical feelings sometimes and yes, sometimes pain. The scar is numb and I only felt the right side of my chest for the first time again last year. Anyway, as long as your husband has been checked by the doctors, I wouldn't worry too much but I would certainly remain vigilante. I believe that your husband should have incremental improvement, even if its minor, each day. IF he seems to regress too much, I would call the doctor again. In the meantime, if your husband has a spirometer, he needs to keep breathing in it to strengthen his lungs. He also does need to walk and do any physical exercises that his dr may have given him. This disease kicks your a** pyschologically as I'm sure you know, and maybe that is also in play here. Best of luck. Sorry for the long post.

Linda, Congrats on your 2 year mark - YAY!!!!!!!!!!! We are so much alike- I can relate to everything that you posted. I promise you that soon the fear will start to grow dimmer.. surviving is just such a difficult concept to accept, isn't it? Wishing you a wonderful year ahead, and one that you will look back on as the year you started moving away from the cancer.